What was the best compliment you’ve received?
This was the moment.
I was riding my hand-me-down, banana seat, sting-ray bicycle down the sidewalk one day when the chain fell off the sprocket. I got off the bike and just stared at it for a few moments when I heard a voice, “hey do you need some help?” It was Stan, a neighbor a couple of houses down. Stan and Louise were original owners in the house on Harding Street. Stan had retired and now spent his time meticulously keeping the house in perfect condition. The grass on the front lawn was a deep rich green with every blade exactly in its place. It was manicured weekly. The house was painted a bright white with forest green trim – he must have touched it up every year.
Stan walked my bicycle up the driveway, a driveway with the grass growing between the parallel cement strips and into his garage. It was one of those garages that a man would love to claim as his own. The shiny cement floor was flawless, no oil, scuffs or dirt! Everything was in its place. The garage was lined with beautiful cabinets. And Stan had one of those peg boards with shiny tools hanging in order and an outline of each tool carefully drawn around each and every tool. Every tool was hanging perfect and ready for use.
He picked up the bike and skillfully flipped it on its back. He pulled the ½” open ended wrench out of its position on the pegboard and began to loosen the nut that held the back tire in place. He carefully untangled the chain and paused. He was about to transmit the wisdom of a bicycle mechanic into my brain. He smiled and said, “Do you know about the ‘master’ link?” He said it in such a way that I felt like looking both ways over my shoulder before giving him the nod. He continued in a hushed tone, “This is the ‘master’ link, the one link that allows you to take the chain off to work on it.” “Wow!” I said. I was mesmerized by the voice of this mastermind. “He’s got to be the smartest man in the whole world”, I thought to myself. With the speed and skill of a seasoned craftsman he re-assembled the chain around the sprocket and then just before he began to tighten the rear axle nut – he paused a second time. “You want to try it?” He extended the tool towards me, gently nudging me to discover the joy of fixing something. I took the wrench in my hand, it felt good – even natural, like I had held it all my life. I began to turn the nut on the rear axle when Stan cleared his throat indicating that he was going to give me another piece of advice, “clockwise to tighten counter-clockwise to loosen.” Ah, another secret of the trade. And then he added, “Put some muscle into it to synch it down tightly.”
But it was Stan’s next remark that changed my life. It was the moment that transformed Stan, the nice man a couple of houses down, into Stan, my hero. Stan spoke four more words; four words that empowered me and inspired me to greatness; four words that would mark the rest of my life. I cannot overstate the power of these four words spoken at that moment of my life. Stan said, “You do that WELL.” My instincts forced me to look around to see who else had entered the garage. “Did he just say that to me?” I had to ask myself because I had never been told that I had ever done anything well. As an eight year old kid, I didn’t know enough to think that he was just being kind. I mean the fact is I just turned a lug nut on a bicycle axle for goodness sake – it’s not like I just put a man on the moon. But I didn’t care. I grabbed the compliment like a man in the desert grasping for a drink of water. I replayed those words over and over in my mind.
From that moment on I knew “I had the power to fix stuff!” If I could fix a bike, maybe there were other things I could fix as well. It was only a moment, but it was a moment that changed my life.