“You have tested my thoughts and examined my heart in the night. You have scrutinized me and found nothing wrong. I am determined not to sin in what I say. I have followed your commands, which keep me from following cruel and evil people. My steps have stayed on your path; I have not wavered from following you.” Psalms 17:3-5 NLT
Whoa. The context of this Psalm is deeply disturbing. It was written concerning the story recorded in 1 Samuel 22:11-21. What a awful story of injustice and the power of a mad king – Saul. Saul ranted and raged against Ahimelech, because he had fed and housed David. Saul was so filled with anger and hatred towards David that he couldn’t see anything but subterfuge and betrayal. Saul ordered his men to kill Ahimelech and all the priests who served with him. Saul’s men refused the order, so Saul ordered Doeg to do the deed. What an horrific deed to slaughter the innocent! “Then the king said to Doeg, “You do it.” So Doeg the Edomite turned on them and killed them that day, eighty-five priests in all, still wearing their priestly garments. Then he went to Nob, the town of the priests, and killed the priests’ families—men and women, children and babies—and all the cattle, donkeys, sheep, and goats.” Hundreds of people were butchered, having nothing to do with Saul’s private feud with David.
This Psalm was recorded by David in response to him receiving the news, “Only Abiathar, one of the sons of Ahimelech, escaped and fled to David. When he told David that Saul had killed the priests of the Lord…” David felt responsible for their deaths! He carried the weight of responsibility when he had simply asked the priest for food and shelter. This Psalm doesn’t catch David’s arrogance of perfection, it lets us see his broken heart while trying to follow God and do what is right!
So often people blame God for the wackadoodle behaviors of crazed, rage-filled humans who enact unspeakable acts on others. It’s a fair question to ask, “why did God allow Saul (or Doeg) to do such a thing?” God didn’t ALLOW this brutal act. God gave us the gift of free will! These are the latent behaviors that exist in all human beings who strive to distance themselves from God, disobeying God and choosing to do their own thing, making up their own rules. One might say, “well I would never…” What? Kill? Become a maniac? It’s quite the discussion on social media platforms. The general consensus is, “Everyone is capable of murder.” Do we really know what we would be like if we truly followed our own will, desires and passions? Throwing off all constraints with a healthy dose of power and authority mixed with hate, anger or revenge, I think we would have to admit – we are all capable.
David’s prayer is all about following God and NOT his own bent, destructive will! David’s intent is to KEEP God’s commands so that he does not become a Saul or a Doeg! Sounds like a good confession to me.
Folks are willing to wander off God’s path with the curiosity of wondering, “what’s out there?” Be careful of what paths we choose and what doors we open! Not all paths lead to God. Not all doors of experimental experiences should be opened. Could God have stopped Saul, or Doeg? Absolutely. Shouldn’t God stop ALL OF US in our free will and decisions to pursue whatever we want. We are all capable of good and evil. And that choice is ours to make. We get to live in a world where we have the results of good and the consequences of evil among us. David was not perfect, not in the least bit! But neither are we, not yet. God will judge all things perfectly in the end. I am determined to follow God and believe His plans, His ways. Certainly not my own.
Prayer
Dad,
Not only have I come this far by faith, I am determined to go all the way. Nothing will stop me. Not my sin. Not my questions. Not offenses towards me. Not the evils all around me. I have set my course and I will not change my decision nor my destination. Heaven will be my home and you will forever be my God!