“If I decided to forget my complaints, to put away my sad face and be cheerful, I would still dread all the pain, for I know you will not find me innocent, O God. Whatever happens, I will be found guilty. So what’s the use of trying? Even if I were to wash myself with soap and clean my hands with lye, you would plunge me into a muddy ditch, and my own filthy clothing would hate me.” Job 9:27-31 NLT
WARNING: NEGATIVE RANT AHEAD
Truth is truth, and it is harsh to face. No wonder most want to wiggle out of it by creating their own versions, seemingly escaping the burden of realty.
Here in Job 9, Job is responding to a long conversation with his friend, Bildad. Bildad’s “advise” is simple. Job’s kids messed up, that’s why they’re dead! “Your children must have sinned against him, so their punishment was well deserved” Job 8:4. Clean, cause and effect, right? Job explores this idea and comes to his own conclusion – maybe this whole human existence thing is rigged! “Yes, I know all this is true in principle. But how can a person be declared innocent in God’s sight?” Job 9:2.
Ah, there’s the real issue. Job’s reasoning is sound, none of us are innocent. All of us deserve judgement. The hardest truth we will ever face is this; even in my “good” moments, my honorable, self-sacrificing, pure motivation moments, I am still riddled with sin and guilt. Isn’t that wonderful news?
Yes, it seems contrarian to believe, but God’s justice, His ways, are always true and right – so we will NEVER obtain innocence on our own. Granted, we can do good things and even make right,
and wholesome decisions – but it does not, will not, make us righteous without sin. We can never escape the guilt that naturally follows.
In these moments, Job gives us the global dilemma of humans beings who want to be good. Why try? Why suffer? Why shower, if God will just plunge me back into the mud from which I was created? Why fight my disordered desires? Why fight the enemy of soul, whose end game is my obliteration? Is God against me? Is this existence a setup, and everyone is doomed? Job is spot on. This life, this existence is an experience of self-sabotage. How often do we take an honest inventory of our soul? We could stack good deeds on top of each other until it reached skyscraper heights and it would still fall short of perfection, of holiness. We live and breathe in a transactional world, but our sin can never be covered nor the debt erased by our actions. As a the old hymn says, “I owed a debt I could not pay.”
My point: Job knew enough about God AND enough about himself that he understood that he did not deserve what he had previously managed (his children) – one cannot own another’s soul. And in his loss, he also discovered it was never his to begin with. One of his friends, Zophar, asked great questions, “Can you solve the mysteries of God? Can you discover everything about the Almighty?” Job 11:7. But Zophar is still off, he still believes Job should repent for his sins, just in case. Job asked God a really hard question. One we so desperately want the answer to; “Why doesn’t the Almighty bring the wicked to judgment? Job 24:1. BTW, God does not tell him, nor us.
The truth is we don’t know much about anything! Science is so arrogant to believe they have answers to all realms of existence, both physical and spiritual. And, except for our own decisions and behaviors, we DO NOT control anything. We certainly do not control others! We can’t make someone good. We can’t make someone live right. Even though we currently live in the redemption of Christ, who has paid the ultimate price for our sin, we will not see the final outcome of perfection or righteousness until the end of all things.
Prayer
Dad,
Wow! I really like Job and I am so glad you included his story in Your living Word for us to learn and begin to understand the depths of our brokenness and the grandeur of Your grace. Thank for the gritty truth of both who we are and who You are.