Tag: Silence

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When heaven is silent.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

You don’t let me sleep. I am too distressed even to pray! I think of the good old days, long since ended, when my nights were filled with joyful songs. I search my soul and ponder the difference now. Has the Lord rejected me forever? Will he never again be kind to me? Is his unfailing love gone forever? Have his promises permanently failed? Has God forgotten to be gracious? Has he slammed the door on his compassion? Psalms‬ ‭77‬:‭4‬-‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The psalmist, Asaph, records this Psalm while Daniel was in the midst of Babylonian captivity. As you can see, the author was under great distress over the state of the nation of Israel and left with a ton of unresolved questions. These types of psalms are raw, unfiltered, yet for the reader’s sake, find a commonality in suffering.

Praying to God, begging God for sleep, kindness, love and to follow through with His promises. We have the advantage of history and the whole story, but for folks that lived through the 70 year experience- it must have been a nightmare to find God when heaven was silent.

The psalmist asks questions that many people ask when going through difficult times. Has God rejected me? Will I ever see good times again? Is God’s love, His presence, mercy, grace and compassion GONE? When one is in the dark, it is so thorough, so permeating that it feels like it will never end. This is the shadowed world of darkness, the desert fathers and mothers post New Testament termed it, “the dark night of the soul.” And many of them concluded that God invites some into this season. Jesus faced similar, the Apostle Paul was blinded for three days and spent a month out in the desert sorting out his soul. It looks frightening and most I know would think it crazy to be in a situation like this let alone take up God’s beckoning to go willingly. Yet, we all know folks who are suffering. Those who have been given a death diagnosis, those who have lost everything, those who feel lost and abandoned.

I was just reading Job yesterday, not an easy book nor life lesson to comprehend. Job suffered immensely and survived heaven’s silence. Did God reject the psalmist? Was God’s love lost forever? Did God’s promises fail or did He forget to be gracious? No, No, No and No. But it was so real and lasted long enough for the psalmist to lose sleep and run out of words to express the deep trauma he felt.

We are promised in so many places in God’s Word that we are never far from His presence, and there is no place on earth where one could hide from Him. David declared that even in the valley trail that leads between the mountains of Israel, a canyon so deep and long that some places never see the sun. When one walks through this valley of shadows taking on the appearance of death, that one should fear no evil, because God’s shepherd’s rod and staff are still very much with us. Thou art with me! It’s the most important lesson to learn! In Psalm 139:11-12, “I could ask the darkness to hide me and the light around me to become night— but even in darkness I cannot hide from you. To you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are the same to you.” The truth to hold onto is that Heaven may be silent for the night, but God’s presence is very much near and very much real. The sun will rise again. And the Son did rise from death’s darkness! May joy come to you in the morning! Ps. 30:5.

Prayer

Dad,
I have been in some very dark moments, terrifying, soul shattering situations. Yet, even though I sat in the long lingering of night and darkness that felt like it would not end, I never felt alone. Quite the opposite! I physically felt your comfort. Your peace was palpable even when I could not sleep and words did fail. The sheer panic of feeling trapped and left with no options, was unnerving. I held on to you and you held me tight. You were with me in the darkness. Thank you for your everlasting presence. Thank you for your mercy to carry me when I felt like I was drowning in darkness. You are so good to me. Amen.

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Don’t pour iodine in an open wound of the soul.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.” Proverbs‬ ‭25‬:‭20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What is it about making everyone feel good or constantly being positive? The wisdom writers pitch a counterintuitive idea. How about NOT cheering someone up?

When I am down or processing difficult, even unpleasant situations happening in my own life, it’s not that I WANT to be negative or depressed. I’m not a masochist when it comes to suffering. However, I am trying to unravel, decode or possibly solve the reasons behind the heaviness, grief or big emotions. And when I am working hard to sift through the whole situation, whether it’s about me or not, the last thing I want is some fluffy, quick, trite, pick-me-up to instantly try to snap me back to feels-good. And, yes, it makes it worse when someone gives me, in that moment, a Bible verse about how I should feel. A Philippians or a “count it all joy,” comment is not helpful.

I know, I know, I know, people are just being kind and I absolutely have friends who live on the amazing promises of God that got them through the darkest moments of their life. I don’t want to be rude and brush them or their comments off. I just want people to try to understand the difference between being a friend who just sits in a really crummy moment with me and someone just trying quippy up because of the uncomfortableness of grief, pain or sorrow. Those emotions are very real and very necessary at times.

Jobs’ friends in 2:11-13 did something very right, “they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.” Job was devastated by what happened to him and his kids and his friends, at this point, behaved bravely stellar!

Proverbs isn’t against cheering someone up or dispensing hope at appropriate times, it’s just asking folks to read the situation before saying something that would bring more pain. When grief or suffering can be like a warm coat in the cold of night, a friend comes along, singing a Mary Poppins tune and steals the one thing they need to bare the moment – a heavy heart. This is similar to another Proverb (27:14) about loudly greeting a neighbor in the morning. It’s just bad timing! So what is appropriate? Silence. A permission side-hug. A commiserating look of sadness. Even the simple words of consolation, “I am so sorry.” Maybe a quick prayer of God’s peace, his Shalom over them, would be nice. The last thing I want to do to a friend or have done to me is have Mercurochrome poured into an open wound of the soul.

Prayer

Dad,
It’s nice to know that grief, suffering or just awful traumatic experiences are just a normal part of life on this planet. I want people to be thoughtful to me and I to them when it comes to being vulnerable enough to share in these weighty moments. I am sure folks are well-meaning in their quick-fixes. I just don’t want to miss or mistake these moments for a light way to politely avoid awkwardness. Love can be awkward right? Thank you for your peace and comfort and our ability to enter into someone else’s pain to sit and join them for awhile.