Tag: Shame

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How to return home.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Praise the Lord! I will thank the Lord with all my heart as I meet with his godly people. How amazing are the deeds of the Lord! All who delight in him should ponder them. Everything he does reveals his glory and majesty. His righteousness never fails. He causes us to remember his wonderful works. How gracious and merciful is our Lord! Psalms‬ ‭111‬:‭1‬-‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Psalm 111 is a tribute, written by Ezra the high priest and scribe, AFTER returning from 70 years of captivity in Babylon. To be clear, everyone knew why Israel was taken into slavery. The citizens had not only walked away from God, disregarding His laws and warnings, they had given themselves wholly to other gods, foreign gods – FAKE gods! God’s prophets, His spokespersons had been warning both the leaders of Israel and the prominent families to turn their hearts back to God. Israel consistently chose to do their own thing. Now, after 70 years, their city, their temple was decimated. Their kings, dead. Their brothers and sisters in the ten tribes that had split off from the whole, lost forever. The only ones to return were the remnants, the “root of Jesse,” as they were called.

Yet, in all this loss and penitence. In their humility, they found their heart for God. In mass they repented and made the journey back to rebuild what had been destroyed. Even though their hope was a flickering flame, a smoldering wick, just barely showing light, they remembered their God. Ezra writes, “He causes us to remember his wonderful works.” In complete misery of loss they remembered God and their own hearts turned, once again, towards Him!

How does one come back from devastation? How does one return to rebuild their entire life? How does one find hope in their future? Israel recognized their sin and remembered their God! Captivity wasn’t God’s fault, it was His love and discipline, going to extremes to keep His people from complete and utter destruction. The human heart, left to its own desires, will crash and burn and destroy everyone and everything around them. We are desperately wicked and strive against God to have our own way and do our own thing. God intervened, putting the nation in timeout until they came to their senses.

Psalm 111 captures the results of them turning their hearts towards God as they make their final assent back up to the city of Jerusalem. Ezra, returning and reflecting on the years of loss, looked up the road to Jerusalem. Then his eyes continued to look up, high into the heavens and thank God. What do you do to return? You look back and see your own decisions that led to devastation. You look up the road to see the restoration of your own future. And, you look even higher, to see God and thank Him for His righteousness, grace and mercy. This is the lesson of Psalm 111. Don’t quit. Don’t wallow. Don’t wait! Come home.

Prayer

​Dad,
What awaits us when we return home? Is it judgment, shame and humiliation? No! What awaits us is exactly what awaited Ezra and Your people – righteousness, grace and mercy. You want us to win. You want us to be well. You want us to live! Thank you oh Lord, for the means of mercy to see our failures and poor decisions. Thank you for the gift of seeing our past with the ability to turn to you and see our future. Thank you for real and genuine hope in the plans you have for us, if we would just turn and return. Amen.

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Livin’ La Vida Loca

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34‬:‭4‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin recorded that song in 1999. According to Bible Scholars, Psalm 34 is a psalm of David, regarding the time he pretended to be insane in front of King Achish, who sent him away.

If there is one thing we have to admit about David, shepherd to hero to criminal to King, he led a very interesting life for the 70 years he lived. David lived the crazy life in ancient days! The rollercoaster ride from obscurity to oligarchy, then crashing back down to some serious dysfunctional family problems – what a journey. He had seen all facets of humanity.

David was a scrapper – self-willed, determined, persistent and completely authentic in his missteps and mistakes. In this psalm, David centers himself by looking up, praying to God when he was trapped, cornered, and this time he runs to an enemy king, King Achish, to escape King Saul. But first he goes to Ahimelech the priest and lies to him, saying he’s on a secret mission for Saul.

David and his men are desperately hungry and defenseless. David begs the priest for a weapon, anything will do. Interestingly enough the only weapon was the famous Giant’s sword that David used to decapitate Goliath! Read it for yourself in 1 Samuel 21. David takes off and heads to Gath (the land of the giant warriors) and tries to seek protection with an enemy king, King Achish of Gath, but as David is making his pitch to Achish, he feels that something is off and decides to pretend that he’s mental, crazy, out of his mind! So he starts scratching on doors and drooling down his beard. Achish buys the ruse, saying, “Must you bring me a madman? We already have enough of them around here! Why should I let someone like this be my guest?” What a crack-up! David and his men escape with their lives.

It is in this wild, absurdity of life on the run that David writes about – God freeing him, rescuing him, saving him from all the calamities that life can bring. It is yet another HONEST Psalm David brings. As we read it, it sounds so determined, so encouraging, so hopeful. Remember, it was written after experiencing pure CHAOS.

This always comforts me. Knowing that these words were not written by a monk, in peaceful bliss of seclusion, surrounded by silence and mountaintop beauty. No, it was written in the most insane moments of how crazy life can get! Is your life crazy right now? Do you feel like you need to feign insanity to escape a really bad situation, a relationship, a job, a debt, an illness? David gets it. God gets YOU and me. Cry out in desperation like David did. Pray, and God will listen and come to your rescue! Let Jesus, THE Angel of the Lord, guard you with peace that passes our comprehension. Shalom Shalom.

Prayer

Dad,
I’m the middle of crazy and chaos, you are here. When all that surrounds me seems to close in, suffocating my perceptions and ability to feel safe and be at peace, you bring your presence. Let my face be radiant with Joy as David wrote. And, let there be no shadows of shame on my face because of your brilliant grace that shines on me.

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The lost art of confession.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude” Psalms‬ ‭32‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

We, as believers, as the Church, are a reactionary bunch. The Church practically ruined the process of confession by tying it to a sacrament involving a booth of secret exchanges between the sinner and a priest behind a veil. Confession was meant to be given to God and each other, not some mysterious sin eater. Then we bounced to the extreme of never having confession as a normal part of our fellowship and following Jesus in community.

Confession and repentance are not only threaded through the entire fabric of the Bible, they are clearly necessary starting from the beginning of our human existence. If Adam and Even had not blame-shifted responsibility off themselves, and just confessed who knows maybe the consequences or corrections wouldn’t have been as severe. Oh, sin would still be the death sentence that it is. But maybe the burden of labor and provision would be different for men and labor and delivery would be less painful for women?

Obviously David, after committing his heinous crimes, should have come clean before Nathan called him out. Was this refusal to confess before or after the confrontation? I’ve always had the theory that anyone who takes a life or commits violence against another human has to deal with a raging fire of guilt and the fear of getting caught. I imagined that the guilt eats the soul within and turns one into a beast, searing conscience and sucking out all emotion like love or compassion.

This Psalm carries a truth no matter the severity of sin or shame. We are not designed to carry guilt. And, it makes it paradoxically ridiculous when we have such a clear solution and simple option beckoning before us – confess and quit trying to hide it! To whom should we confess? First to God, then to one another.

It’s interesting that David, upon realization, confesses rebellion. Here we thought it was all about lust, objectification of a woman, lying, plotting and executing a murder, then trying to cover it all up. But rebellion? This is what the Bible has been trying to tell us all along. All sin is rebellion against God. It’s us, wanting our own way, not his. It’s yielding to cravings and what Augustine calls our “disordered desires” of what WE want, when we want it and won’t listen to anyone trying to dissuade us. The seven deadly fruits of sin are born from the roots of rebellion.

Whether it was before getting caught or after, David faces his sin, his guilt and the cancer lodged in his soul and vacates it to God. And in that, David finds forgiveness, freedom and a renewed spirit within. It’s not at all formulaic, but it is a process that yields both humility and a fresh start. Of course today, believers are supposed to assume that they are forgiven by Christ’s own permanent payment for sin – and we are. Have we come to believe the humiliation of confession is not necessary. That is not what the New Testament teaches is it? So we just skip the penitence, the humbling of ourselves, the constant admission that we are STILL sinners, saved by grace? Oh, that’s right, we want to heap upon ourselves a whole new layer of religion. The religion of perfection. You may want the perception of sinlessness and the right to judge the world because you are better than others. Not me brother, I know my own heart and it is quite ugly still. Psalm 32 is the perfect psalm for me. I will confess my rebellion to the Lord. And God will forgive me.

Prayer

Dad,
How dare I even for one moment think that Your righteous, Your mercy, Your forgiveness extends to me any privileges of pretense that I would be qualified to judge another, especially deciding who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. I am far too busy dealing with my own sin! I am thankful for confession, repentance and forgiveness as a regular process of keeping my heart and soul clean and clear before you.