Tag: sex

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Young men’s folly.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

The woman named Folly is brash. She is ignorant and doesn’t know it. She sits in her doorway on the heights overlooking the city. She calls out to men going by who are minding their own business. “Come in with me,” she urges the simple. To those who lack good judgment, she says, “Stolen water is refreshing; food eaten in secret tastes the best!” But little do they know that the dead are there. Her guests are in the depths of the grave. Proverbs‬ ‭9‬:‭13‬-‭18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Proverbs sets up this interesting discussion about the dangers of womanly trickery. Whole chapters discuss her wily ways, alluringly, setting and snapping the death trap for men – young men in particular.

If Proverbs was a training manual for young Jewish boys, then these topics became salacious reading material. And, I’m sure there were secret whispers on the backside of the local synagogue. When I read these Proverbs, as a young man, I remember having visions of sleazy, vegas-strip like scenarios. I could viscerally feel the ick as I imagined some boy, wide-eyed and mesmerized, being lured in like a deer led to his demise. It was creepy, but appealing in a dangerous sort of way.

Proverbs 7 reads like a dirty magazine hidden under the mattress. I had not been to Vegas, nor visited a wayward women’s establishment nor a strip club. I have no personal experience with these awful, misguided, rights of passage. However, I no longer believe the wisdom writers and their teachers were attempting to mentally or visually tantalize the young souls of men.

Wisdom is saying something much deeper, much truer than blaming all the temptations on the temptress. I now believe EXACTLY what these verses propose. The woman’s name is Folly!

There are basically four words for foolish in Proverbs. One, in this description, is (kesiluth) stupidity! It’s the most benign of the four. It just means unlearned, unaware. Wisdom is the cure for stupid! However, we are fortunate because this verse contains the second most common word for foolish, (pethiyyuth) simple. It comes from the root word, (pathah) spacious, wide or open. As it pertains to a fool, it would mean, easily enticed, deceived or persuaded.

The warning doesn’t just come from the context of the young man being stupidly unaware and easily manipulated. It also comes with the voracity of this personified woman. This kind of tempter, is a (hamah) a predator who growls, and roars boisterously! There is a brash confidence to consume the innocence of their prey. There is far more than the sexual escapades of youth being allured by foolishness. Foolishness can be anything that deters, distracts, disengages a young man’s attention from doing what is right.

It may not seem as dangerous as succumbing to the seductive whispers of sexual freedom, but there are other temptations that lead to death. There are dares, bribes, and arrogance that surge in a young man’s soul. The triple-dog dare to lick the frozen pole. The bribe to try the latest social media challenge to huff, swallow or handle some untested experiment, experience or drug that puts one in an early grave. The rush of arrogance to be a somebody in demented group-think challenge of speed or reckless behavior.

The invitation to “come in with me,” isn’t always from a woman named Folly! It’s just as often a voice challenging a young man to prove himself by engaging in stupidity! And, the Proverb is 100%, accurately true – little do they know that the dead are there. And Folly’s guests are all found in the grave!

Our young men need Fathers. Our young men need mentors. I have seen more than just a delayed adolescence over the past several years. I have seen an extension of the folly season continue on into someone’s 20’s and 30’s. No wonder Wisdom BEGS us to listen. No wonder Wisdom constantly goes out searching, seeking for the simple so they might not become easy prey for the predators of foolishness.

Remember young men, the war for your heart and mind is real. Don’t be the casualty of folly! I have always recommended the Apostle Paul’s advice in 1 Cor. 15:33, “bad company corrupts good morals.” Get out while you can. Run from Folly. Embrace Wisdom.

Prayer

Dad,
Help us! Rescue us from ourselves and those who prey on the innocence of our youth. You found me and saved me. Pour out Your Spirit on our young men all over the globe. Meet them, Father them, as you have done for me. Amen.

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Proverbs promotes purity

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭5‬:‭21‬-‭23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The entire chapter is a contrast/comparison to giving into immoral decisions or staying true to one person and remaining pure. The cast of characters is the young man, referred to as son. The immoral woman, seen as a thirst trap, luring and devouring innocence. And, the wife of one’s youth, depicted as a spring, a fountain filled with blessing and satisfaction.

The wisdom writers get gritty in detail when they ask, “Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?” Directly referring to not just love but a man’s semen seed for procreation. This is clearly a chapter on purposeful restraint, shutting down the entire fallacy that sex should be abundantly and freely engaged with anyone you like.

Again, since Proverbs is mostly a young man’s wisdom curriculum, I’ll let you figure out how to reverse the roles and applications for young women seeking moral men instead of being seduced by fantasy and false promises of “players.”

Proverbs chapter five gives a summary that captures a strong word of advice for the wise and the fool. God sees all. God knows the motive of EVERY human heart. In the end, the hell or heaven that one finds is determination of decisions. Hell is the cage constructed by our own desires. The ropes of slavery and captivity are woven by our sins. And death awaits because we will lack the will to be made pure and whole. The warning to the young and old – be very careful about giving into the lust and cravings of our body, mind and soul.

The promiscuous lies that promise peace and fulfillment are not just dangerous, they are deadly. Words like chastity and purity are for temporal and eternal safety as well as real satisfaction.

Prayer

Dad,
How absolutely ludicrous that the cultural lies pitched today are all word-swapped, redefining truth. Phrases and words like sexual freedom, exploration, experimentation all masked by this lie. It’s a very clever trap leading to the opposite of everything we really need. It quickly becomes exploitation leaving perpetrators and victims with hollowed out souls, finding no peace. We are left with a vicious cycle of unquenchable desires that become our master of a slaved life. Oh, how we need your Spirit to pour over us. Breathe life in us once again for we have descended back into the dust of our dirty lives.

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Real men are not fools.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“While I was at the window of my house, looking through the curtain, I saw some naive young men, and one in particular who lacked common sense.” Proverbs‬ ‭7:6-7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Wisdom, personified as someone looking out of the window of their house, sees young men. I don’t know what kind of neighborhood wisdom lived in but wow, she could look out and see some solicitation happening right across the street!

She sees young men and specifically the one who lacked common sense. What she saw was one of the four words the wisdom writers use for “fool.” Did you know there were four Hebrew words for fool? 1. Keciyl- stupid or silly, 2. Pethiy- seducible or simple, 3. Eviyl- perverse, and 4. Nabal- wicked (for more – bit.ly/biblefool).

Here the word “naive” in other translations is “simple” and yep, you guessed it, the seducible kind. I totally believe that wisdom looks out and sees this in some young men.

However, I’ve seen a lot of “simple” men (not just young) in my life. I used to think these were men who had horrible-to-none father figures, but some had/have great Dads and they just want to be knuckleheads.

I look out my own window and see plenty! I see young men race through neighborhoods, not caring about young children darting out in the street. I hear young men “sharing” their over-driven, expensive, testosterone fueled stereos leaving car alarms blaring and windows shaking. I see really expensive cars, all customized and tricked out with all the bling that could have gone into a ring for their girl. I see prison tats and angry death-glares as they swagger down our street scoping out a score or peeing spray paint to tag a neighbors wall. I hear f-bombs dropped as they talk to their woman and illegitimate children in tow. Oh, I see and hear a lot of vibrato, but I do not see men or maturity. I see fools.

I drive though my city and see young boys, preschoolers walking with their moms. They are as cute and as innocent as can be. I pray they don’t grow up to be fools, but I also know about the vicious cycles of a macho culture that will leave them with few choices to follow wisdom.

My heart breaks. I, like wisdom herself, want to call out and beg them not to be seduced by all the evils of this world, all the easy opportunities to just grow up mirroring what they saw in their own estranged father.

These stories of the simple do not turn out well. The wisdom writers, speaking of the temptress, say, “Her house is the road to the grave. Her bedroom is the den of death.” Honestly, sex isn’t the only seduction – power is just as tempting. And young men who figure out “to be feared, is to be powerful,” mistake the real purpose of power. Real men, wise, mature men, know that real power is to protect the weak, not intimidate them. And real men know that sex is not love. Sex is given, received and experienced in a lifetime bond of commitment and sacrifice to one woman; and to make kids that grow up secure, protected, and wise to love God & others.

PRAYER:

Dad,
I would never have figured out how to be a man if you had not found me and rescued me from a cycle of chaos. You pulled me out of generations of some good-hearted but weak, simple men trying to be fathers in my life. Of course, Ben, dad #3, wasn’t kind at all he was a Nabal kind of fool – wicked and conniving to his core. Thank you for wisdom. Thank you for discipline of character. Thank you for being a great Dad!

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Proverbial warning labels

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“Stay away from her! Don’t go near the door of her house! If you do, you will lose your honor and will lose to merciless people all you have achieved.” Proverbs‬ ‭5:8-9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

​Doors are an interesting way of illustrating wisdom’s point. My feeling on this, once we’ve opened a door, be it out of curiosity, peer pressure or even escape, I don’t believe we have the power to ever close it.

When I was a young-er (cough, cough) pastor I imagined standing in the middle of a round room full of doors. Each door had a label. Each one seemed have a invitation that just begged me to open it. Maybe it was a sexual door or a drug experience door an alcohol or gambling door. Maybe even an abusive relationship door.

These are doors that I’m sure my parents opened because I experienced a childhood where I watched them struggle with various addictions and emotional attachments that I knew were not healthy. But I also had my own set of doors. And, as I wrote, once opened I’ve not figured out how to ever close them.

What about deliverance from sin you ask, or freedom and redemption? Yes, absolutely. However, I don’t think the door ever fully closes – remember I’m the one who opened it. There are doors my family of origin may have opened “for” me, exposing me to things that should never be seen or experienced as a child.

Let’s take gambling for example. My family had a history of gambling. They would call it “social” gambling, even “gaming” and had “calculated” losses. I had my little experience with the “one-arm-bandit” (slot machine). It was fun and exciting, colorful and intriguing sounds, plunk, boing, ching ching ching. My nickel was gone and I didn’t win. It was fun, but I had no desire to do it again. As I got older I would feel the pull of those feelings of risk and reward, the sights and sounds of machines and people having fun sitting around a table with fast moving cards or dice. Knowing that door had even slightly been opened, I made a decision as a teenager. I would not be a gambler, not a social one or a gaming one or even a simple little lottery ticket player. Why? Because I saw the damage it caused in my family and I didn’t want that kind of life in my own future. IF I were to gamble now, I’m pretty sure I’d be hooked and sucked in.

BTW, same goes for drinking alcohol if you’d like to know the truth.

This door of immorality that the wisdom writers warned of – it is very real. It’s also ridiculously spun as fun and free in our sex-saturated-society.

WARNING: Don’t open this door wisdom says, don’t go near they cry OR – YOU WILL LOSE! Proverbs writes the consequences of those who opened it and can’t ever shut it. “Strangers will consume your wealth, and someone else will enjoy the fruit of your labor. You will say, “How I hated discipline! If only I had not ignored all the warnings! Oh, why didn’t I listen to my teachers? Why didn’t I pay attention to my instructors? I have come to the brink of utter ruin, and now I must face public disgrace.”

These proverbial warning labels are no joke and the very real life consequences are devastating. See those doors around you? The ones that say, “just try me,” “just take a peek,” “what’s one time gonna hurt.” DO NOT OPEN THEM.

You’ve been warned.

PRAYER:

Dad,
You know the doors I’ve opened and you know the doors that, thankfully, I’ve stayed away from. I absolutely love your mercy, patience and forgiveness I’ve experienced from those doors I have opened or the ones my family opened and shoved me in for a peek. I really want to put a bunch of caution tape around the ones that have devastated my family as a kid. I want to warn others about experiencing or experimenting with these awful and alluring sins. Help us O’Lord. Help us men and women, fathers and mothers. We need your wisdom and grace.