Tag: Neighbors

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Paul’s neighborly prayer.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“So we have not stopped praying for you since we first heard about you. We ask God to give you complete knowledge of his will and to give you spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then the way you live will always honor and please the Lord, and your lives will produce every kind of good fruit. All the while, you will grow as you learn to know God better and better.” ‭‭Colossians‬ ‭1‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I’ve been thinking and talking about how to be a neighbor, a good neighbor. I believe it’s all about listening and watching for opportunities, being led by the Holy Spirit. Times where we should see moments that appear to be odd or random as providential not accidental. Those moments could be happen at the grocery store, the gas pump, the quick-serve lunch or while walking through our own neighborhood.

I think it’s important to swap names, introducing ourselves like well-mannered people used to do. I think it’s important to write those names down to be able to do the exact thing that Paul is doing with the folks he met in Colossae. To be able to remember people’s name, because it’s very important for them to be seen and known. The other is to speak their name, before God, in prayer. Then using Paul’s prayer as a template, we can begin to pray for them and trust God for future moments of opportunity to love and serve our new friends.

Paul’s prayer is simple and can be easily memorized. We can ask God to give our neighbor and new friend a complete knowledge of his will, spiritual wisdom and understanding. Then we can pray that God will help them to live a life that honor and pleases God, producing every kind of good fruit (think of the 9 fruits of the Spirit). Then, wanting them to keep going and growing, that they would learn to know God better and better.

This prayer, that Paul prays over Colossae’s community of faith affirms something else I believe. Something simple, but should remind every one of us as believers that we are all responsible for. The word is DISCIPLE. And the thought is BE ONE, MAKE ONE. If we are a disciple, a follower of Jesus, we should be learning about God more and more, just like Paul stated. However, as believers, we should also be doing what Jesus commanded as he left for heaven. We should all be about making disciples. Who are you following, and who is following you? Who are you walking with to strengthen your faith, and, who is walking with you to do the same.

Being a good neighbor has the potential to being a good friend and hopefully that can turn into being a disciple by having someone follow you in your faith. Jesus had a group of 70 following him. Jesus chose to focus on 12 of them. But he specifically mentored 3 of them. This pattern is for all of us who say we are followers of Jesus! Who’s your 70, 12 and 3?

Prayer

Dad,
I am so thankful to not only follow you, but also have several men and women that have poured into my life. Some have discipled me, a few have mentored me. Thank you for Paul’s written pray for the folks in Colossae. It helps me know what to pray for with so many people on my own “neighbor” list as well as those who more closely follow me as I follow Christ. Most of all, thank you for continuing to help me grow and learn in wisdom and understanding, as well as grow in my faith.

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Favoring the feather-flockers.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?” ‭‭ James‬ ‭2‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Meddling in other’s business, that’s just what Church leaders and under-shepherds do. God gave the Church these leaders: Apostles, Presbyters, Bishops, Elders, and Pastor-Teachers. So you can blame (or thank) Him for us getting into your personal space!

Was James an Apostle? Remember there were a few James’ in the New Testament, two of them (big James and little James) were disciples, followers of Jesus and given the authority and title “Sent Ones,” or Apostles. The author of the book of James was James, the half-brother of Jesus, who was an early church leader ( Acts 15:13 ). This James did not fully believe that Jesus is the Messiah until after the resurrection.

James is full of passion and was extremely knowledgeable of Jewish Law and culture. He writes with a direct, no nonsense style, thus the feeling that James would be in our face about several commands that Jesus spoke. This question of favoring is very valid even today.

How can we claim faith and have preferences of some people over others? Answer: because we are human. Left to our own ways of thinking and behaving, this would make sense to ONLY spend time with those who benefit us.

Why fly with a flock that’s not my feather?

Sure, James writes about how easy it is to be drawn to the rich because they’ve got cool swag and swagger. But that’s just one example of our flockability. How about popularity, intelligence, connections, social status and such? I have a principle I live by. I don’t want to OWN a boat, but I do want to have friends who do! Same goes for the cabin, club 33, and cruise points.

James says something profound in this spiritual slap in the face. “Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law as found in the Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you favor some people over others, you are committing a sin. You are guilty of breaking the law.”

Whoa! James had been listening to Jesus’ sermon series on neighboring. James, “do you mean my “neighbors” aren’t those I self-define as just my favorites?” James, “are you saying that if I only hangout with my feather-flocking friends, I’m sinning?” I knew this neighboring thing wasn’t as easy as it sounds. James makes it clear that it’s not that I only favor the friends that benefit me, but that I dis-favor those who do not benefit me – thus, the poor, the disenfranchised, the weak or lonely outliers.

Does God know that this group James defines as poor or dressed in dirty clothes are HARD to love? Yes. It’s not their lack of money or their appearance that makes it hard. It’s the way they have been treated and lived a life of pain and emotional dis-attachment for so long there is little hope in their eyes.

I spoke with a man named Ernie while pumping gas a while back. He was hunched over, filthy with layers of dirt on his wrinkled face with a mouthful of useless crooked teeth. He wouldn’t look me in the eyes. I had to ask him to look at me. I asked him what he needed and how I could pray for him. Of course he wanted money, he needed money, but that’s not what he told me. He was worried about his wife’s health and because he had so many physical issues, he worried that he could not be of any help to her. I had the honor of praying for him and his wife while standing outside a gas station. I prayed for healing, for peace, for wisdom to be given to them. That day Ernie was my neighbor. That day I got to favor him over all the friends I have who may benefit me. And yes, I gave him some money, but he wanted and needed to be seen and loved far more than just the cash. Ernie’s not in my feather-flock and I am thankful that God brought him to me so I could favor him!

Prayer

Dad,
Even though some don’t know this about me, but I remember when I was an outcast. I had the reputation of being the adopted boy with divorced parents and the alcoholic father. I was quiet and kept to myself, but I also had some extraordinary friends from “intact” families. They took me in and made me feel normal, even loved. I’ll never forget their kindness and that helps me be thankful and keeps me grounded to being a good neighbor as well. I want to see people as you see them. I want to look in the eyes of folks like Ernie and see your beautiful face. I want to love even as I have been loved. Thank you for my own origin story that teaches me to remember and live differently because of it.

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Re-framing the neighbor wars

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“Don’t plot harm against your neighbor, for those who live nearby trust you. Don’t pick a fight without reason, when no one has done you harm.”
‭‭                                                                                            Proverbs‬ ‭3:29-30‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Proverbs has quite a bit of neighbor references when it comes to teaching wisdom. I could easily get all philosophical about how caring for your neighbor builds good communities. Or, if you are good to them, they’ll be good to you. And, I am positive that the whole concept of “neighbor” has changed over several millennia. From tents sitting on acres and acres of land, to homesteads on the plains, hills and valleys. To the “five-foot” setback of neighbors or even shared walls.

We, in the non-rural setting, are really close to each other. If someone in the house next door sneezes we can say, “God bless you,” and they’ll hear ya.

For me this idea of “neighbor” comes down to the Shema+ that Jesus created and told us, as believers, to focus on. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind.” AND, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Combining Deuteronomy 6:5 and Leviticus 19:18. Rabbi’s had the authority to pull passages from the law, not only to interpret them but also to teach people about God. Jesus quoted the most famous of all and most beloved of all verses that was part of the Shema which starts with Deut. 6:4, “Hear O Israel.” The Shema was constantly quoted all day long. It would bring an orthodox Jew to a centering point of pure joy and peace, often bringing tears to their eyes. We don’t have anything so powerful in passage form in our culture today. Maybe something like America’s Pledge of Allegiance, but that is no longer held with such high honor 😥.

Then in Luke 10:27, Jesus ADDS to the script. He chooses this obscure thought out of Leviticus (which means ויקרא He (God) called) to love your neighbor as well. Proverbs makes a big deal out of neighboring because, in its lessons about wisdom, the writers point to the overall theme of the entire Bible, LOVE GOD, LOVE PEOPLE.

As a believer, it is unthinkable to hate, harm or fight with a neighbor because it goes against God’s plan for humanity. God is wooing my neighbor, how can I help by starting fence wars with them?

Oh, we’ve had some doosies for neighbors, but these Proverb’s verses always bring me back to my motive and intent. BTW, our backyard neighbors are apparently moving, along with their constantly yappy dogs they ignore (feel that negative vibe). I hesitantly pray that God brings some folks for me to practice (love) on! There was an old TV show in the sixties that had an bright, but obnoxious little boy named, “Dennis” in it. The show title said it all, “Dennis the menace.” Poor grouchy old Mr. George Wilson (Joseph Kearns) was the Mitchells’ neighbor. Mr. Wilson is the perfect anti-character, antagonist that helps remind me to be a better neighbor. Who was your favorite “neighbor” from TV shows?

PRAYER:

​Dad,
You know, oh boy do you know how much I love my peace and quiet in my neighborhood.

You know how much I HATE fireworks going off constantly. You know how much I HATE loud, booming bass music blasting out of open windowed cars and the drivers think they are sharing their favorite tunes. You know how much I HATE modified-mufflered vehicles that rev up their ego setting off car alarms as they proudly cruise through the neighborhood.

Am I venting too much?

But you know I need your help to reframe all of those incidents to pray for the noise-offenders and let you supernaturally work in their hearts. Help me to bless them and not curse them. Of course, I would love for you to send some angels to wet their fuses, blow their speakers or head gaskets, but I won’t tell you how to do your job.

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Rules or principles of fairness and equity

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say, “Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.” Proverbs‬ ‭3:27-28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This wisdom nugget isn’t just applicable to neighbors. This principle should be applied in all areas of leadership, business and especially when it comes to pastoring and leading a church. I purposely use the word “principle” which is a guideline for making decisions when leading people.

Oftentimes folks want a RULE. I get it, rules are certainly more solid, you know, “black or white,” clear and undeniable – right? Well, not so fast. Here’s my beef with rules. They appear to be simple and clear, but I promise they are not. For every rule created there are dozens of “loopholes” to get around it, actually nullifying the point of the rule in the first place. Let me just write one word here: LAWYERS. What do you they do? Find and take advantage of loopholes. Ok, but that’s just one problem with hard and factual rules. Here’s second one: rule management. The person, group or contract has to manage a mess of infractions for the rule-breakers. If you break a rule, there is a consequence for not obeying it. Someone has to dole out the punishment, er, consequence. And it has to be done quickly and fairly. There’s nothing worse than two people breaking the same rule, but one gets a pass, the other gets caught and has to pay up. And, because God MADE us creative, we’ve got thousands of ways around some rule that some sets up. Each one of those loops has to be caught, addressed and updated. It’s a endless cycle of systems to manage WRONGDOING. I hear you. Yes, there are rules or laws that must be stated and adhered to, I’m not advocating for anarchy. However, many times people run to rule-making, but they don’t want to live a life of rule-managing. I am so happy that God originally only gave humanity 10 rules/laws. Can I tell you that some very smart people called the Jews have even come up with ingenious ways to get around God’s big ten. They cranked up 613 laws to “explain” how to keep the original 10. That’s a 6030% increase!

Wow, that was a serious off-topic trail! Back to not withholding good from those who deserve it. The reason I sidetracked on rules and laws is that it tries to treat everyone “fair,” or equitable (so trendy right now). Fair? Equitable? Do we even understand how complicatedly difficult it is to do that to scale?

Proverbs frees us from this insanity of fairness and gives us the gift of spontaneous generosity. If and when it’s in your power to do good… guess what? Do it! And if it is not in your power or it over complicates the organization or the person receiving the good… guess again. DON’T do it. One of your kids may get a cookie, the other may not! Mind blown.

Andy Stanley has a quote I’ve been trying to live out in my leadership, “do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.” I know that wild statement will get a lot of blowback, but which is better or worse? Creating a rule-based system that goes in a policy and procedure book and has to be added to, changed constantly and managed OR some principles that guide me to making good decisions?

How will you lead? How will you take the advise of Solomon’s wisdom writers, which really is God inspired humans giving out God’s wisdom as well as his character and behaviors. The principle here is simple: when you can, do good to those who deserve it and do it immediately.

PRAYER:

Dad,
All I know is that I want to think and behave like you in as many situations as I can. You’re generous to help, I want to be generous to help. It’s that simple.