“When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.” Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”” 1 Kings 19:1-4 NLT
The big showdown between God’s representative and Baal’s representatives had taken place, the odds 850 to 1. The living God verses dead stone and stick carvings. God consumed the entire contest altar with fire. It turns out Ahab wasn’t the power broker for behind the scenes, it was actually his wife, Jezebel. She had risen to power controlling the nation and all the false prophets who were committed to worshipping fake gods. Ahab arrives home telling her that all her puppet prophets were dead. Commentators say that Elijah killed 850 (400 prophets of Asherah and 450 prophets of Baal ) wiping out Jezebel’s entire elite religious guard. She sends out the “hit” order, the threat – Elijah will be dead in 24 hours. Even after this major showdown win with incredible odds against him, this one threat from the most wicked woman in history, rattles him and Elijah runs. He disappears into the wilderness and finds himself exhausted, depressed and suicidal. Elijah experiences the lowest of lows and the very dark, crushing moment where he believes it is all over, he’s done and his life will end like all others who oppose the wickedness of the queen. Have you been there, in darkness and depression?
The verses following this story capture a slow but sweet process of restoration, administered by angels. This is a very modern prescription for depression today – “get up and eat.” Elijah ate, drank and then slept some more. Then the angel of the Lord (a phrase attributed to Jesus Himself, showing up in the Old Testament) touched him and encouraged him to eat again. In depression’s dark shadows, one often loses a desire to eat, drink and physically move around. Elijah takes a very long trip, ending up in a cave, still running from the threat of Jezebel. We see the echos of king David running from Saul, fearing for his life. These two stories in these two chapters, one of victory, the other of crippling fear are all to common experiences to anyone who is obediently following God and working to accomplish His will and plans. The fight, the war against evil and against the agents of evil used by the satan, is very real, very dangerous and very exhausting. Many have won a battle only to lose in the aftermath of threats and fears that follow. Jezebel was not able to keep her threat. In fact Jezebel was pushed out of her own castle window by her own protective guards. She splattered on the courtyard below and left for wild dogs to eat her, just as it was foretold. 2 Kings 9:30-32. In a stunning reversal of the Jezebel threat, Elijah never did die! God took him, alive and riding a fiery chariot into the sky.
Prayer
Dad,
Before my own brief experience with deep depression, I used to read this story and was confused about how things could turn so quickly from victory to defeat with just a word from this wicked woman. After going through several days of the worst experience of my life and feeling the numbness and despair, no will, no desire to do anything, I now understand. Those moments still haunt me. I am so thankful for your supernatural mercy and grace to not only wrap your peace around my soul, but gently lead me out of the darkness and back into the light. May you ever be close to those who are suffering similar.