Tag: guilt

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No secrets in heaven.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you. Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you. Psalms‬ ‭51‬:‭12‬-‭15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

If our lives were portrayed in a book, a memoir containing the entirety of our life and legacy, what should be written? The early years, of course. The backstory to who you are, or were growing up. The “origin” story, they call it. Many have wonderful childhoods, solid families and lots of great memories. Those would make it into the book, right? Some have difficult family stories, filled with dark traumas and secrets not whispered.

It is believed that David wrote half of the 150 Psalms! And, in all those writings, we find a plethora of emotions – high highs and devastating lows. Psalms is the best for teaching folks to not only spend time WITH God in his Word, but also to be genuine and honest in our conversations with Him. Maybe even using some of David’s language as “training-wheels” to find our own authentic expressions of praise, frustration, anger, depression or repentance!

Psalm 51 is unique, even among David’s gut-wrenching epitaphs. It’s a whole chapter dedicated to an open confession and admission of guilt! Would we write a memoir that contained a chapter of our worst decisions, our biggest failures and our deep cries for forgiveness? David did.

David spends time translating FEELINGS into words, a talent few men have access to. Getting away with sin and regret is harder than we think. Our rebellion, our determination to protect self-will and desire is so strong, yet hiding sin has awful side effects and outcomes. Doing sin is just part of the process. But hiding it, masking it, scheming to cover our tracks, so to speak – that’s where our consciousness gets the best of us. Running, hiding, covering, lying and maintaining secrecy is the weapon of darkness, Satan himself. Keeping sin in the shadows eats at us. It consumes us, swallowing life and light around us. We can bury it, but sin’s wretched smell reeks and leaks no matter how hard we suppress it.

David knew sin is the joy sucker of life! He pleaded with God to restore his joy because JOY was missing, marred under the blackened ooze of fear and the hubris pretense of denial. He writes, FORGIVE ME! Whether we write a life legacy or just live one, we cannot escape or outrun our sin! It will come out. It will be revealed. There are no sin secrets in heaven. Get em out while we can.

Prayer

Dad,
Wow God! I don’t think David was trying to be a pseudo-psychologist or social scientist, but his godly wisdom is spot on. I am both convicted and convinced when I read this Psalm to see that MY sin is nasty and destructive. And, by holding onto it, being haunted by it, sucks joy out of my life and my walk with You. Please, forgive me of my sin. But also, forgive me for trying to manage or manipulate it away. I confess my sin to you so you can properly dispose of it, cleaning my soul and restoring what has been wasted and stolen from me. Thank you for your forgiveness and mercy. Amen.

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Good Guilt

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Fools make fun of guilt, but the godly acknowledge it and seek reconciliation.” Proverbs‬ ‭14‬:‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This is a tricky one to translate no matter what version of the Bible you use. The Hebrew words and phrases are deeply embedded in cultural and have nuanced ways of using words in context. Not to get too deep in Hebrew here, because I am a complete novice at this. However, many of the tools to study the Bible are super useful.

There are a few fascinating words used in this text. One is the word, translated in NLT as guilt is the word, asham: offense, guilt. Strong’s concordance straight out translates this as the word “sin,” because it is often used in that way.

Keeping that in mind, the other word is translated as fools but the actual Hebrew word is evil: אֱוִיל. Hold on. That’s not our word evil, it’s a Hebrew word meaning a fool. There are four different words for the word fool in Proverbs and this one is used 19 times. It means to be perverse; (fig.) silly. This person (perverse fool) mocks or scorns guilt, offense or sin, believing it to be useless.

Do you know anyone who has convinced themselves they should not feel guilty for anything because they declare any sense of wrong to be a false moral construct. They believe guilt or sin is a made up, social restraint! This ancient text, the Bible, God’s wisdom, disagrees and WARNS the fool about it. But the upright do not mock guilt they see it as the Hebrew word “ratson,” or “favorable and accept it.” I love the fact that the New Living Translation translates “ratson” into the phrase, “seek reconciliation,” as this idea of favorable acceptance.

We are in a cultural crisis of passive/aggressive behavioral patterns in our relationships and work hard to completely AVOID any perceived confrontation or conflict. This is whether we caused it or were the recipient of it! We are all avoiding reconciliation! We’ve allowed many of our relationships, deep or shallow to become soured and embittered, littered with blame and ghosting.

We are, in fact, playing the Biblical fool by ignoring wisdom’s life giving advice. Wisdom tells me to embrace the offense or guilt, favorably accepting it because, for one, it’s shredding our ability to form and keep healthy relationships. Have I offended or hurt someone? I should own it and say I’M SORRY, and ask for forgiveness. Has someone offended or hurt me? I should see it as an opportunity to value the friendship enough to tell them it hurt! That is still a form of favorably accepting their offense and seeking reconciliation. The aim is to repair, not ignore, to love, not run away.

Love demands that we promptly and maturely handle each other as Christ handles us! God’s wisdom works every time. I need to quit playing the fool, whether it’s my hurtful words towards someone or my bruised ego because of what others said. I want to be godly, to reconcile and restore those relationships I value so much.

Prayer

Dad,
Your Word is truly a lamp for my feet and a light on the path to wisdom and life itself. I am so thankful that you cut through the nonsense of my thinking to confront the brutal facts, the radical candor of how life works. You have designed this life to be experienced in all beauty and wonder and yet I still attempt to manipulate the rules to suit myself. I am humbled by Proverbs and hope to fulfill its intent to make me wise and not play the fool.

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The lost art of confession.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude” Psalms‬ ‭32‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

We, as believers, as the Church, are a reactionary bunch. The Church practically ruined the process of confession by tying it to a sacrament involving a booth of secret exchanges between the sinner and a priest behind a veil. Confession was meant to be given to God and each other, not some mysterious sin eater. Then we bounced to the extreme of never having confession as a normal part of our fellowship and following Jesus in community.

Confession and repentance are not only threaded through the entire fabric of the Bible, they are clearly necessary starting from the beginning of our human existence. If Adam and Even had not blame-shifted responsibility off themselves, and just confessed who knows maybe the consequences or corrections wouldn’t have been as severe. Oh, sin would still be the death sentence that it is. But maybe the burden of labor and provision would be different for men and labor and delivery would be less painful for women?

Obviously David, after committing his heinous crimes, should have come clean before Nathan called him out. Was this refusal to confess before or after the confrontation? I’ve always had the theory that anyone who takes a life or commits violence against another human has to deal with a raging fire of guilt and the fear of getting caught. I imagined that the guilt eats the soul within and turns one into a beast, searing conscience and sucking out all emotion like love or compassion.

This Psalm carries a truth no matter the severity of sin or shame. We are not designed to carry guilt. And, it makes it paradoxically ridiculous when we have such a clear solution and simple option beckoning before us – confess and quit trying to hide it! To whom should we confess? First to God, then to one another.

It’s interesting that David, upon realization, confesses rebellion. Here we thought it was all about lust, objectification of a woman, lying, plotting and executing a murder, then trying to cover it all up. But rebellion? This is what the Bible has been trying to tell us all along. All sin is rebellion against God. It’s us, wanting our own way, not his. It’s yielding to cravings and what Augustine calls our “disordered desires” of what WE want, when we want it and won’t listen to anyone trying to dissuade us. The seven deadly fruits of sin are born from the roots of rebellion.

Whether it was before getting caught or after, David faces his sin, his guilt and the cancer lodged in his soul and vacates it to God. And in that, David finds forgiveness, freedom and a renewed spirit within. It’s not at all formulaic, but it is a process that yields both humility and a fresh start. Of course today, believers are supposed to assume that they are forgiven by Christ’s own permanent payment for sin – and we are. Have we come to believe the humiliation of confession is not necessary. That is not what the New Testament teaches is it? So we just skip the penitence, the humbling of ourselves, the constant admission that we are STILL sinners, saved by grace? Oh, that’s right, we want to heap upon ourselves a whole new layer of religion. The religion of perfection. You may want the perception of sinlessness and the right to judge the world because you are better than others. Not me brother, I know my own heart and it is quite ugly still. Psalm 32 is the perfect psalm for me. I will confess my rebellion to the Lord. And God will forgive me.

Prayer

Dad,
How dare I even for one moment think that Your righteous, Your mercy, Your forgiveness extends to me any privileges of pretense that I would be qualified to judge another, especially deciding who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. I am far too busy dealing with my own sin! I am thankful for confession, repentance and forgiveness as a regular process of keeping my heart and soul clean and clear before you.

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Fretting follicles.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Lord, don’t hold back your tender mercies from me. Let your unfailing love and faithfulness always protect me. For troubles surround me— too many to count! My sins pile up so high I can’t see my way out. They outnumber the hairs on my head. I have lost all courage.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭40‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

According to Blue Letter Bible, Psalm 40 was among Psalms collected and inserted in the songbook towards the end of David’s life. I don’t think David was being comedic here in his analogies, but I am a visual reader. Words and phrases bring pictures into my head.

As I read this Psalm, most likely written as David is approaching retirement, and put here as more of a reflective thought, I can’t help but see piles of sin outside the royal palace stacked up against the walls like a snow drift from a massive winter storm. And, if that’s not a enough, he then compares his sin to the number of hairs, albeit fleeting, on his head.

Look it up! The average black or brown headed person has about 100,000 hairs and blondes have 150,000. Do blondes need more for some reason? 100k of sins. How am I supposed to tally up all my sins throughout the years. Is there an app to track that? At first I thought, “oh, I’ve sinned way more than the number of hairs on my skull.” But 100K? No, I’m not going to do the math for you.

Let’s just agree we can all PILE up a lot of sin in a lifetime. And managing those sins can be quite the undertaking. In yesterday’s devo I wrote about Hebrews advice, “don’t count up or manage your sin,” look to the Savior who gracefully paid off our debt and just be grateful. I realize that here in Psalm 40, David was still under the law and the crushing guilt of all the awful things he had done. So his plea is understandable. Today, I don’t want to or have to count sin-snowflakes piled up or fretting follicles and the debt I’ve amassed. God’s tender mercies are still active and effective!

Prayer

Dad,
I may be running out of hairs on my head, but I am not running low on sin! I am glad I do not need to obsess over sins in my past. And when I confess and come clean with you about my current selfishness and self determined will, you forgive me and toss my sins in opposite directions, far from you and me. I am still thrilled to look at piles of mercy rather than piles of mistakes, mountains of grace verses molehills of guilt.

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The Haunting of Herod

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“When Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, heard about everything Jesus was doing, he was puzzled. Some were saying that John the Baptist had been raised from the dead. Others thought Jesus was Elijah or one of the other prophets risen from the dead. “I beheaded John,” Herod said, “so who is this man about whom I hear such stories?” And he kept trying to see him.” Luke‬ ‭9:7-9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

​The haunting of righteousness and justice! Herod, fraught with guilt has three visitors in his head. The great Herod has lost his mind with too much power, money, drink and sex. He’s going mad! Rumors were floating around the city at the office cooler, the markets, the coffee shops. News travels up to power much faster than it travels down. He’s alive!?!

Herod gets himself written into the gospel story as character who’s sin has caught up to him. And as a good journalist, Luke records what Herod “reportedly” said, but, but, but… “I beheaded John!” And with a shaky voice, like out of some old Don Knott’s movie, he says, “so who is this man?” Cue creepy music here. Yes, like the ghosts of Christmas past, Herod hears that it could be Elijah coming back to judge him, or John himself, back from the dead to take his revenge. This man Jesus had been busy in Galilee, gathering disciples, healing the sick, kicking out demons. This Jesus seemed to be even more powerful than either of the prophets, old and new. It was like he was a combination of all the former spokespersons for God!

Jesus, son of man, son of God, had certainly stirred up the crowd. Luke suggests that the stories just kept coming in creating a sense of guilt and curiosity in Herod. Luke writes, “he kept trying to see him.” Jesus referred to Herod as that “fox,” probably suggesting that he was a rather weak, ineffective leader but very crafty.

Oh, eventually Herod would meet Jesus at a trial. Herod was so intrigued by Jesus calm, humble demeanor. He wanted to see Jesus flex some that power he’d heard about, that prophetic fiery voice that he had witnessed in John. He even wanted Jesus to perform some miracles at the trial for his life. Jesus said nothing. Herod “reportedly” died horribly, with gangrene that made him stink. It was said that he was eaten by worms!

Prayer

Dad,
I can’t say that I mind at all that Herod felt haunted. I don’t know where he ended up in eternity, that’s not my call. But I am glad that he seemed to experienced a poor ending to a life lived rather selfishly. I’m especially intrigued that you had Luke actually write about him AND that Herod is even a character that interacted with Jesus! What a moment. Herod thought he was SO MUCH in charge and was puzzled about Jesus not trying to get out of false charges and correct wild fake news. Most megalomaniacs think they are on top of things when in actuality they’re the least self-aware folks on the planet.