Tag: Good Dad

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NOT like DAD.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

As Samuel grew old, he appointed his sons to be judges over Israel. Joel and Abijah, his oldest sons, held court in Beersheba. But they were not like their father, for they were greedy for money. They accepted bribes and perverted justice. Finally, all the elders of Israel met at Ramah to discuss the matter with Samuel. “Look,” they told him, “you are now old, and your sons are not like you. Give us a king to judge us like all the other nations have.” Samuel was displeased with their request and went to the Lord for guidance. “Do everything they say to you,” the Lord replied, “for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer. ‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭8‬:‭1‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

How many times have we heard, “You’re just like your Father!” Or, conversely, you’re nothing like your Dad!” Such is the cyclical, mystical dilemma of life as a father and as a son. As you know Samuel’s origin story was not just unusual it was pretty rough. His mom Hannah, has him later in life, and he’s a miracle child! But Hannah told God “IF!” If you give me a son…I will give him back to you. Thanks mom! God did and Hannah kept her promise. But what a tragic twist of events. Samuel is raised by an old, worn-out priest, Eli whose sons were the worst PK’s in the history of the Church!!! Hophni and Phinehas were evil, foolish THUGS. So what kind of father was Samuel? Would he be like his bio-dad, Elkanah? Or, would he be like his foster dad, Eli? We don’t know! Samuel, as a man, a judge and a priest, did a phenomenal job. But as father…how should we judge his parenting? The Bible doesn’t even mention Samuel’s wife, the mother of his two sons. And, the only facts recorded about Eli’s boys is this – they were greedy, accepted bribes and perverted justice! What? This is what the PK’s (priest’s kids) are known for?

The elders met and gave Samuel the what for, “you’re old and your sons are NOT like you! Then, out of nowhere – no context whatsoever, they say, “Give us a king!” Fill in the blanks, if you wish, but they seem to be d-o-n-e with the good judge, bad judge cycle of judges. If God had not told us the reasoning behind their desire for a king, we would have no idea what was going on in their heads. In 8:7-8,“for they are rejecting me, not you. They don’t want me to be their king any longer.”

You see, God not only looks deep into the human heart, God sees the past, present and future in the always NOW! God mentions a sore spot in his disappointment with the people of Israel – “Ever since I brought them from Egypt they have continually abandoned me and followed other gods. And now they are giving you the same treatment.” Wow, He’s the God of perfect memory and recall as well as crystal clear clarity of the future! Give them a king, God says to Samuel. But warn them first.

What gives? Samuel’s boys were certainly awful judges, why was God not happy about the elders asking for someone different ? Because God knows what’s really in our hearts! In God’s own timing, he could have dealt with Joel and Abijah. They could be replaced, but the elders had no patience to wait for a “God solution,” because they had their short-viewed solution.

They wanted to be like all the other nations around them. Saying, “we don’t want to be unique, we don’t want to have God lead us or choose for us. We want a king?” Ouch. The cycle of kings lasted several hundred years and what were the results? Well, there was a lot of drama and great stories of victory and tragedy- that’s true. However, the whole “king” experience landed the people of God in captivity in Babylon. Experiment was over. No more kings for Israel.

It is frustratingly comforting that bad Dads can end up having great sons AND good Dads can end up having not so great sons. It’s one thing to read about these cycles, it’s a completely different thing to experience it in your life. Especially when you’re past the age of being able to do much about it.

Prayer

​Dad,
This whole thing of coming from a chaotic family background and being hopeful about breaking cycles has been challenging. But then also to give my own children a good foundation to launch their lives from has been interesting to watch. There is an undeniable truth at play. One, as a child growing up, I didn’t really know anything was off until I compared to other friend’s families. But also two, my own children had no idea of my past compared to their own experiences. Everything seems “normal” until we have something to compare it to. I know what my life was like, and because you’ve changed my life in so many areas, no one would really understand. I am so thankful to be your son because of Jesus. I am also very thankful to be a Dad!

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Oh the persistence of a well loved child!

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“You fathers—if your children ask for a fish, do you give them a snake instead? Or if they ask for an egg, do you give them a scorpion? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him.” Luke‬ ‭11:11-13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

No one knows persistence like a loved child! Warning: Grandchild story. Our three granddaughters are three and under. Once our grands get something they want in their heads, there is no shaking them off topic. If I happen to mention a special treat for them, the oldest is immediately working her charm. It’s starts with the sweetest of asks, “Papa, do you remember the treat you promised?” “Yes, but let’s wait until after dinner,” I say. Scattered throughout dinner are regular checkins both verbal and non-verbal. A increasingly more direct message, “Papa, remember.” Even though the oldest does the heavy lifting to remind, to maintain this gentle, but constant pressure of THE ASK, it is clear that she is asking for all three of them. And somehow our twenty-two month and our seventeen month old have their brilliant listening skills honed well before their verbal acumen. Now it’s all three staring me down. They remember, they ask and ask again.

It’s not only appropriate because it was promised, it’s adorable because they know that I will come through with the request. How could I not? And the fulfillment of a promise, a resolve of the persistence is complete – Papa serves all three of them with the treat! All is right with the world. A promise made, a persistent reminder is applied and most importantly a promise is kept. Jesus, teaching on how to pray leads off with the warmest, most affectionate way possible… “Our Father.” Then he ends with a good father story. You dads, if your children ask… well Jesus knew, we know, that sums up just about every toddler, preschooler persona – it’s more like WHEN your children ask!

Setting aside all the “Dad jokes,” teasing and ill-timed humor. GIVING good gifts is all that every good Dad wants to do. So, maybe we should come to our heavenly Dad much more preschoolish than we do. “Good God, I’m asking and I know you always keep your promises and want to give great gifts, I just want to remind you that I am waiting, believing and dependent on you.”

Prayer

Dad,
Jesus couldn’t have made it more clear. You love to be asked and love to give good gifts to your own. I’m asking for some pretty BIG gifts. Oh, they are not for me. Like my oldest granddaughter asking for her sister and cousin, I’m asking for my family and friends. I don’t mind reminding you that I am waiting and trusting you for the results.