Tag: Friends

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Wisdom comments on companionship.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Solomon observes something sad; a man. Alone. Without child or brother. This strikes a nerve whether it’s in ancient days or modern times. Alone is not good, it has never been good. Yet, alone has become the preferred path for so many people. The statistics are staggering now. Being alone, living alone, used to be a fringe, outlier experience – the old maid, the drifter, the hobo. Now alone has become mainstream, acceptable, even respectable. As of 2021, 25% of 40-year-olds in the United States had never been married. This was a significant increase from 20% in 2010, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data. That is up from 6%, a 19% increase from 1980! Plus, there is even more statistics about couples that have decided to not have children at all. Marriage is so good and so healthy for many reasons, even in difficult times of stress and raising children. But alone is lonely!

Since people have decided to be alone and have decided not to go to church, go back to church and staying away from even volunteering at a church, I don’t know what is left to help folks NOT be alone. Solomon mentions cuddling with someone to stay warm, but then mentions the real struggle. What happens when things go wrong? What happens when you’re attacked, get sick or lose your job? These are dismal things that people alone must face. Combined with the fact that families are much more fractured, moving away to find jobs or cheaper housing. It even leaves families struggling to be there for each other.

It’s gone beyond the need to stop glorifying solitude, it’s time to re-start making friends and deepening the friendships we still have. Come back to God. Get back in Church. Get involved in other’s lives. Don’t look for ways to get, look for ways to give!

Prayer

​Dad,
Even coming from a chaotic childhood, I learned to make and build friendships. A few of these friends have been a part of my life for over fifty years. You were there with me, even though I didn’t realize it until I was a teen. I have been through some difficult times over the past few years and I learned just how valuable friendships are. I was overwhelmed with checkins and phone calls making sure that I was okay. It was humbling to feel deeply cared for by you and by friends that have invested in me over the years. I am so thankful for my wife, adult children, my friends and my life. Your love and grace has been evident! Amen.

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Too shy to tell?

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has redeemed you from your enemies. Psalms‬ ‭107‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Ezra takes a moment here in this Psalm to declare the goodness of God. They are returning from Babylonian captivity and are not only excited to be free and return to their own land, but they are grateful for the lessons learned!

Are you in a dark place, walking through the shadows of life? I have been there! Several years ago I was fired from a ministry position. The first thirty days were filled with anger, grief and sheer panic! I didn’t know if I was being punished or disciplined by God or just experiencing suffering through “church hurt.” I was sidelined, like a timeout for an entire year!

But also during those first few months, something extraordinary happened. I had friends and family checking in with me, taking me out to lunch and just sitting with me in my grief – it felt like such a Job season. God was closer than ever! God was present in mercy, encouraging me through His word and through the words of others. It was surreal to experience God going through it, not getting out of it quickly.

It is interesting to me that we don’t often share our sorrows with each other and even more mind-boggling that we don’t share the moments of victory! When the shadows lift, the clouds dissipate and the sun shines brightly once again. It’s wonderful to share grief – a burden shared is lighter. But it’s even more exciting to come out of exile and share with friends just how good God was the entire time.

His faithful love does ENDURE! And God still redeems our brokenness, our sins and sorrows. We should not be shy about telling others that God is real, He’s close and He cares. Give thanks then tell your story?

Prayer

​Dad,
Whew, those were really dark days. I remember spending a lot of time (because I had an abundance of time) in the Psalms, grieving, crying and searching for answers. But not once did I feel alone. You were with me. Your comfort and peace gave me strength and kept my mind from spinning off into thinking or acting foolishly. I will tell of Your goodness to me. You redeemed that year and brought me so many opportunities and blessings. Thank you for grace and mercy. Amen.

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Friends who beg Jesus.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Jesus left Tyre and went up to Sidon before going back to the Sea of Galilee and the region of the Ten Towns. A deaf man with a speech impediment was brought to him, and the people begged Jesus to lay his hands on the man to heal him. Jesus led him away from the crowd so they could be alone. He put his fingers into the man’s ears. Then, spitting on his own fingers, he touched the man’s tongue. Looking up to heaven, he sighed and said, “Ephphatha,” which means, “Be opened!” Instantly the man could hear perfectly, and his tongue was freed so he could speak plainly! ‭‭Mark‬ ‭7‬:‭31‬-‭35‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus, making his way through very “Gentile” populations, on his way to the Decapolis (Ten Cities). Sidon is far north of Israel near modern Lebanon today. Mark lets the reader know that Jesus traveled and became popular even in non-Jewish territories. What strikes me is that while Jesus is in town, friends of a deaf and mute man, bring him to Jesus.

The stories of miracles had spread all the way to the far reaches of Roman empire, and clearly it was possible to safely travel because of the Roman road infrastructure. And, there were regular occurrences of soldiers making their way back and forth between the cities. God had prepared the path before the news of Jesus and future news of the gospel would travel on these roads.

This story doesn’t have the same drama as the man lowered through Peter’s mother-in-law’s roof, but it still has the element of urgency and importance of a caring community. Do you see the obvious? Alone, this man would have never heard the stories of Jesus or the miracles he performed! His friends were the eyes and ears of a caring network. They brought and begged on behalf of their unabled friend. This man, who struggled with sound and speech had friends who watched out for him.

When the friends HEARD, Jesus was in town, they knew what they had to do – get him to Jesus. Mark uses this interesting word for the friends who “begged, or implored” Jesus to heal him. The word, “parakalousin” comes from the word, “parakaleó.” Why make such a big deal of these Greek words? Because “parakaleó” is two words meaning “come alongside.” Parakalousin is used twice and only in Mark’s gospel. The beautiful idea behind this word is the concept of advocacy. Someone to come along to encourage, strengthen and comfort. In these friend’s efforts to help, they became advocates to get him to the one who could solve his physical ailments!

I personally love the word “parakaleó,” because it’s one of the words describing the character of the Holy Spirit. THE parakaleó, who comes alongside us. When these friends made their move to get this man to Jesus, it was if they had been waiting and watching for some way to help him, even heal him. This is the posture of prayer we can have when we hear the struggles of our friends, when we know they need far more than we can provide! We cannot heal them or fix them, but we can be constantly on watch and listening to God for the moment when Jesus might show up to restore them. We can implore God on their behalf, we can come alongside and remind them that we are with them. It means so much to know that you are not alone in your suffering!

Jesus led the man away from the crowds to a quiet place. He put his fingers in the man’s ears. He spit on his own fingers and touched the man’s tongue! Can you see the moment? Can you feel the Genesis phenomenon of God creating life out of the dust of the earth. Jesus simply recreated whatever was missing or wrong with his ears and tongue.

Do you have friends who are physically disabled? Are you broken in some way? Are there body parts that don’t function properly or are missing? Jesus is still available to touch you and your friends, recreating what is lacking!

Prayer

​Dad,
Being the same yesterday, today and forever, the miracles, the love grace and mercy extended to people is still available today, right? There are so many hurting and broken. Our “healthcare” systems are overwhelmed with urgencies and emergencies! Yet, you are the great physician, the creator of our bodies and souls. We are more in need of you than ever! Help us in our faith. Help us with our faith for others, our friends and families. Thank you for your Holy Spirit the parakaleó! Come alongside us today! Amen.

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Reconciling my frenemies.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The best friendships are also the most vulnerable to offense. Trust takes years to build and it can be destroyed in seconds with a purposeful or even accidental moment of betrayal. There is even something WORSE that happens when a friendship is threatened or demolished. It makes us very leery of trusting others. So great friends are not only hard to find, they are much harder to keep!

This wisdom saying holds the key to not just surviving an offense or even a betrayal, it gives hope to those who want to build and keep quality friendships. The first key is the word, “harder.” This is simple but rarely practiced. It’s not impossible to win back the friendship! In fact, once this kind of friendship has been able to navigate the tunnel of chaos or conflict, it becomes even stronger than before. As any wartime general would attest, there is no such thing as an impenetrable fortress. Hard, yes, but not impossible.

The second key is found in this idea of causality – THE argument. Every human relationship, no matter how good or how close, has its moments of impasse! The argument may exacerbate the opposing ideas, but that’s still not what brings down a relationship. When one, or the other, or both decide to LOCK THE GATE – now we have a problem. When we lock the gate of our heart, the defenses go up and access to our brain filled with thoughts, ideas, attitudes, hopes, dreams, sorrows and big emotions are no longer accessible to our friend. The argument is no longer a clashing of ideas it turns into an inaccessible, impenetrable locked gate. Both have allowed these volatile opinions to become weapons that pierce each other’s soul! Soon angry phrases emote out of deep anger, frustration or defense – phrases like, “you are dead to me,” or “never speak to me again.”

Friends banter, they even fight, but the tips of their swords are always rounded and the wounds are never kill-shots. Our stubborn pride buried beneath our wounds may never allow us to heal, restore or reconcile.

A few verses down there’s another friend proverb that helps us understand this predicament. There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭24‬.

Real friends move past the offended or betrayed friend stage, pulling each other in closer, rather than pushing away. Doesn’t the Bible both encourage and command us to reconcile and love one another? Wouldn’t it be wise to obey, even though it’s hard? One of Jesus’ friends betrayed him with a kiss, and Jesus called him out in the garden. Another friend betrayed him by disowning Jesus and declaring that “he did not know him.” Jesus gently restored him after sharing breakfast on the shores of the lake.

Great friendships are worth saving and savoring, persevering and protecting!

Prayer

Dad,
While I was still offending you… you forgave me. While I was still yet denying you…Jesus died for me. You made the impossible happen. You breached the walls of my heart, you stood at the entrance of my locked gate and asked me to let you in. I did so and I will forever be grateful. Now, you ask me to do the same for those who have offended me, betrayed me. How can I say no? Knowing how much it cost you and how far you went to reconcile me, how can I not do the same? Help me not be defined by the frenemies I hold onto, but the grace to forgive like you have done for me.