Tag: fear

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The experience of a lifetime

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“But even as he spoke, a bright cloud overshadowed them, and a voice from the cloud said, “This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy. Listen to him.” The disciples were terrified and fell face down on the ground. Then Jesus came over and touched them. “Get up,” he said. “Don’t be afraid.” And when they looked up, Moses and Elijah were gone, and they saw only Jesus.” Matthew‬ ‭17‬:‭5‬-‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This powerful episode, this transfiguration, takes place high up on the mountain. A transfiguration is, “a complete change of form or appearance into something more beautiful or spiritual.” We would use a similar word, “transformed.”

Matthew tells us that this is what happened on the mountain when Jesus took three of his closest friends (the minimum for number of witnesses in legal matters) with him to pray. How did Matthew know what happened? He interviewed Peter as an eyewitness.

As Jesus’ physical appearance rapidly changed, his face and clothing bursting with blinding white, two other figures also appear in that moment. Two super, well known characters from the Old Testament – Moses and Elijah. The whole scene is reminiscent of the high mountain moments that took place on Sinai. The presence of God had clearly descended on that place. Jesus, Moses and Elijah are having a conversation, like it was normal, you know, old friends catching up after not seeing each other for 1600 years! The three disciples, Peter, James and John are just standing there, taking it all in. Peter, of course, has to say something, offering to build some temporary tents for the three to have an extended time of fellowship if they so desired. Mark’s gospel adds, “he didn’t know what to say.” Jesus doesn’t respond. But then the cloud comes down.

This descending cloud is directly connected to when God came down on the first tabernacle (Exodus 33:9) and filled the house of the Lord on the dedication of the Temple” (1Kings 8:10). It was, in later Jewish language, described as the “Shechinah” glory of God’s presence. It was a holy moment. It was also a difficult moment to process for the disciples. This friend of theirs, Jesus, was indeed the messiah. But they could not wrap their brains around the concept of what the messiah would be and do according to everything they had been taught about him. Their understanding did not match these experiences. Jesus had proven that He is God through miracles. He had proven that He had all power and authority over ALL things! And now this supernatural moment just put it over the top. And yet, Jesus had already told them he was to die, resurrect, then leave?

In this moment on the mount, these three average guys are experiencing something no one else could even dream of – a meeting with Jesus, two famous Prophets and God-the-Father’s voice coming out of an ominous CLOUD! What’s the protocol for such situations? What does one do when in the middle of a supernatural, other-world event, taking place right in front of you? You fall! You bow! You make yourself as low as possible and stay that way until someone tells you different. You don’t peek! You don’t look at your friends to see what they’re doing. You flatten down, shut up and be very, very still – like you’re dead! Being terrified doesn’t even begin to capture the emotions of that moment. Think about this, when the Apostle Paul says, “every knee will bow and tongue confess,” this moment describes why. Humans won’t bow and confess, being forced to do so. It will be the natural response to complete and utter realization of who Jesus is! Jesus touches them so they can get back up.

This whole experience must have been so overwhelming for the three apostles, Peter, James and John. It did not however, prevent them from having future doubts, questions and even failures! It would be a mistake to think that spiritual high-points are somehow the answer or “fix” to our problems. It didn’t happen then, it’s not going to happen today! The deep patterns of a spiritual life are still the same, denying ourselves, being obedient to pick up the cross of Christ and follow Jesus daily. When we fail, we confess, repent and get back at it.

Prayer

Dad,
It is so hard for me to imagine experiencing something so powerful, so profound, so supernatural. It would take me forever to even process an event like this. Even so, I would completely expect my life to not just be changed, but that I would never again wrestle with doubt, faith or even sin! Ah, but they did, and I realize… so would I. I need your grace and mercy all the way to the end! I need your forgiveness and patience my whole life through. I am grateful for your long-suffering love.

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Livin’ La Vida Loca

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“I prayed to the Lord, and he answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces. In my desperation I prayed, and the Lord listened; he saved me from all my troubles. For the angel of the Lord is a guard; he surrounds and defends all who fear him.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭34‬:‭4‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Puerto Rican singer Ricky Martin recorded that song in 1999. According to Bible Scholars, Psalm 34 is a psalm of David, regarding the time he pretended to be insane in front of King Achish, who sent him away.

If there is one thing we have to admit about David, shepherd to hero to criminal to King, he led a very interesting life for the 70 years he lived. David lived the crazy life in ancient days! The rollercoaster ride from obscurity to oligarchy, then crashing back down to some serious dysfunctional family problems – what a journey. He had seen all facets of humanity.

David was a scrapper – self-willed, determined, persistent and completely authentic in his missteps and mistakes. In this psalm, David centers himself by looking up, praying to God when he was trapped, cornered, and this time he runs to an enemy king, King Achish, to escape King Saul. But first he goes to Ahimelech the priest and lies to him, saying he’s on a secret mission for Saul.

David and his men are desperately hungry and defenseless. David begs the priest for a weapon, anything will do. Interestingly enough the only weapon was the famous Giant’s sword that David used to decapitate Goliath! Read it for yourself in 1 Samuel 21. David takes off and heads to Gath (the land of the giant warriors) and tries to seek protection with an enemy king, King Achish of Gath, but as David is making his pitch to Achish, he feels that something is off and decides to pretend that he’s mental, crazy, out of his mind! So he starts scratching on doors and drooling down his beard. Achish buys the ruse, saying, “Must you bring me a madman? We already have enough of them around here! Why should I let someone like this be my guest?” What a crack-up! David and his men escape with their lives.

It is in this wild, absurdity of life on the run that David writes about – God freeing him, rescuing him, saving him from all the calamities that life can bring. It is yet another HONEST Psalm David brings. As we read it, it sounds so determined, so encouraging, so hopeful. Remember, it was written after experiencing pure CHAOS.

This always comforts me. Knowing that these words were not written by a monk, in peaceful bliss of seclusion, surrounded by silence and mountaintop beauty. No, it was written in the most insane moments of how crazy life can get! Is your life crazy right now? Do you feel like you need to feign insanity to escape a really bad situation, a relationship, a job, a debt, an illness? David gets it. God gets YOU and me. Cry out in desperation like David did. Pray, and God will listen and come to your rescue! Let Jesus, THE Angel of the Lord, guard you with peace that passes our comprehension. Shalom Shalom.

Prayer

Dad,
I’m the middle of crazy and chaos, you are here. When all that surrounds me seems to close in, suffocating my perceptions and ability to feel safe and be at peace, you bring your presence. Let my face be radiant with Joy as David wrote. And, let there be no shadows of shame on my face because of your brilliant grace that shines on me.

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No longer a walk in the garden.

Reading Time: 4 minutes

“When the people heard the thunder and the loud blast of the ram’s horn, and when they saw the flashes of lightning and the smoke billowing from the mountain, they stood at a distance, trembling with fear. And they said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen. But don’t let God speak directly to us, or we will die!” “Don’t be afraid,” Moses answered them, “for God has come in this way to test you, and so that your fear of him will keep you from sinning!” As the people stood in the distance, Moses approached the dark cloud where God was.” ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭20‬:‭18‬-‭21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

God once walked with humans, casually, perfectly, lovingly in the garden. In the cool of the day, God would take a walk, “When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden.” Now, years after Eden, years after many, many people, well past Noah and the total destruction of almost all living things, well past the rise and fall of Babel and Egypt, we now come to Moses and the Law.

God had just given Moses the laws, rules for His people to live and love differently from all other peoples, cultures and countries. These laws would keep Israel alive and allow them to interact with a holy, perfect God. God was always holy, always perfect. God is the same today and will never change.

Exodus captures a honest moment expressed by God’s beloved Israel… “we’re afraid of Him!” They said. God showed up like a tornado and the people didn’t feel all snuggly safe. Moses told the people, “God comes like a storm to test you. Your fear of him will keep you from sinning.” It did keep them from sin…for the moment, but it didn’t last. God told the people through Moses, “Remember, you must not make any idols of silver or gold to rival me.” ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭20‬:‭23‬ ‭NLT‬‬.

Just twelve chapters later…“When the people saw how long it was taking Moses to come back down the mountain, they gathered around Aaron. “Come on,” they said, “make us some gods who can lead us. We don’t know what happened to this fellow Moses, who brought us here from the land of Egypt.”” ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭32‬:‭1‬ ‭NLT‬‬ – really? That was fast.

Fear works while it is directly applied, but fades as we forget the storm, the threat of death. But fear is never enough to sustain a authentic relationship over the long haul. Who wants to take walks in a garden with someone they fear and sense that perfection is held over them at every moment.

Exodus, the Law and the entire Old Testament is very real and very much a part of our story of who we are and who God is. As I wrote, God is and always will be holy, perfect and completely incompatible with sin. The fear of God is still a reality today and will always be a part of our relationship to Him.

Fast forward to the paradox of New Covenant in tension to the Old Covenant. The God who showed up in the deadly storm is the same God who touched the dead body of a little girl and said, “talitha koum” (little maiden), arise. Or the same God who wept and embrimaomai (moved with anger) called out his friend, Lazarus, from death’s pit. We see God the Father, as holy, perfect and feared in the Exodus, but He is the same as the person of Christ, God the Son. Yet, this holy perfection, under the new covenant is love so pure, so piercing, it penetrates beyond fear. A fear that CAN make us want to hide as Adam and Even had done or stand at a distance as the Israelites. OR, this love/fear is to be experienced as an imperfect human completely and totally seen and known for who and what we really are. Yet, we have FAITH that the sacrifice of Christ doesn’t repel us from God’s holiness but contrarily – it supernaturally pulls us, draws us into God’s presence to be embraced by Him.

When shown our sin, we no longer need to run, hide nor flaunt or make excuses. We can now move towards God’s perfect grace not fearing the final judgement of separation. Believers will even be judged in perfect love and not fear (Bema – Judgement Seat of Christ (Romans 14:10, 2 Corinthians 5:10)).

Where is the “fear of God” in this season of grace? Well, it is still here. The fear of God should never be skirted, challenged or arrogantly thrown in the face of God, exclaiming, “His grace is sufficient.” Saying, “I can sin. I can disobey. I can do whatever I want because of Christ’s covering.” How arrogant, how immature! God can certainly strike you dead where you stand regardless of your status of being saved! God can end your life here and sort out the details later? Or, sin’s own consequences can bury you, destroying everything you’ve built and leave you destitute. Don’t tempt God’s grace!

Prayer

Dad,
I know of your love and it’s perfect. I also believe I have a healthy fear of your perfection, your righteousness, your repulsion of sin. I am completely and totally confident in your grace and painfully aware of the consequences of my sin, my choices that are neither hidden from you nor acceptable to you. I am willing to live in this tension. I am willing to run towards you even in my sin, with my failures and work hard to NEVER run from or uselessly try to hide or dodge my poor decisions. I am without excuse, but I am forever grateful for your mercy. Amen.

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When all you have is fear and faith.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Joseph, to whom she was engaged, was a righteous man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement quietly. As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬-‭21‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Joseph did everything right and still he was going to thwart the plans of God. Not only was Joe going to do things right, he was even going to do them with the best motives in mind. He was going to break the engagement quietly, privately, so it would not disgrace Mary publicly.

Joe was much older than Mary and we don’t know all the details of his and Mary’s life before their pre-arranged marriage. You knew that right? This wasn’t a whirl-wind romance of Joe sweeping young Mary off her feet and promising her the world. History is fairly quiet about the couple, especially after the “incident” of being with child out of wedlock. Joseph was said to have been married before and was a widow. Mary being so young and both families living in a poorer part of Israel (Nazareth), may have had few to no suitors for her father to choose from. None of that mattered really, because God’s will, His desires, His plans before time existed was for these two, Joseph and Mary to raise the Son of God.

What do you do when a good man, a righteous man is going to break up with the woman carrying the Messiah? Who’s going to have that kind of conversation with Joseph and get him to change his mind, because clearly Matthew tells us he had already made his decision. And when a man… especially a Jewish man makes up his mind, well, you know, there’s no changing that! No worries, that too was all planned out with God.

God sent a messenger, a powerful, high ranking messenger, an angel of the Lord. The message isn’t, “Marry the girl or else!” The message is don’t fear the consequences of marrying this girl. The consequences were real. No one in those days (or these days) was going to buy the whole “virgin birth” story. Everyone knows where babies come from and how they’re made! If Joseph wasn’t the daddy, it must be another man – but who?

Gossip would have torn through their town like a wildfire, destroying everything in its path. Then there’s the whole danger of Mary being dragged out in the town square and stoned to death for adultery, killing her and the child within her womb. We couldn’t have that happen right?

No; God, Joe and Mary had to keep this whole thing on the downlow and make sure it played out well with the whole community. So the fear of consequences of what would happen to Mary and the shame that Joseph would have to bear was very real. He wasn’t the one carrying a miraculous child from God, but he would need BIG faith to believe and raise the boy as his own. Notice, even in the miraculous intervention the angel didn’t force Joe to do God’s will. He told him not to fear and then flat out told him the why behind all the mystery. For this child would save his people from their sin! Wow, gives me the chills. The angel didn’t tell Joe that he would raise a warrior, a king, or ruler to conquer Rome and put Israel back on top as a global phenomenon like in the days of Solomon. No, this child would save Israel from their sin. Joseph must have known exactly what that meant because of his own lineage and legacy. Matthew had just told us about Joe’s bloodline, a direct heir of Abraham, Boaz, David and Solomon! Joseph knew his people’s own sin story and the need for a future redeemer. Joseph would not be raising just a king, he’d be fathering the King of kings. He wouldn’t be raising a military hero, he’d be fathering the Savior, THE one and only Messiah. We know the intervention worked because Matthew writes, “When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife.” Great job Joe. Great job angel of the Lord. And great job God! Mission accomplished.

Prayer

Dad,
In those moments of decision, Joseph could not have known the part, the role he would play in history. He could not have known the results of his decision and how critical it really was. No, he only knew of fear and faith. He could have only known how he felt when he heard the news about Mary and the faith he had to have to believe the angel and follow through with obedience to marry the girl who was carrying our Savior. We never know how our decisions of faith effect the future. All we know is to trust you and obey. You’re the only one who knows how it all works together. May it be unto me to also believe and obey!