“The proverbs of Solomon: A wise child brings joy to a father; a foolish child brings grief to a mother.” Proverbs 10:1 NLT
There are a number of these son to parent proverbs. Modern translations substitute “child” for son, but that undermines the purpose of these writings. If Tim Keller is right, and I believe he is, he says that the proverbs were written as curriculum training for young men. This isn’t a put down on young girls or women in general. It was poignantly written to train boys to become great men – nothing wrong with that, right? We do want our boys to become great men, correct?
Think of this curricula idea being drilled into every Hebrew boy – your decisions effect MORE than just yourself. A constant theme of respect and family responsibility towards their own parents. I was given no such training, no such purpose, no such direction. Yet, even with zero input from my own fathers on how to be man, a husband or a father, I personally learned from God, from Proverbs one of the foundational necessities of life – get wisdom!
By the time Robin and I had children I was able to give regular and constant reminders to all three of our children about this proverb right here – “be wise” and it will bring us ALL joy. Be wise and you will have what is necessary to live a good life, influence every single person you meet and leave a legacy for our family. I didn’t quote the verse to them, I lived it with them. I was adopted, so my birth name is Spear, but when my last name changed at four years old, I grew up understanding that my own adopted father had trashed his family name.
When Christ rescued and redeemed my life, I spent time absorbing the wisdom of God through Proverbs, I instinctively knew my responsibility- clean up the family name and pass it on to my children in good standing. I have worked so very hard to rebuild the Garvin name in every way possible. I wanted it to be morally sound, fiscally sound, socially sound and every bit spiritually sound. I wanted my children to be proud of their father’s name and even more proud of the work God had done to restore that name. Garvin would come to mean, faithful, funny, hopeful, caring, responsible and respectful. I told each one of my children to remember they are a Garvin and to be proud of it!
I know of families who bear the grief of a tarnished name, especially when both parents tried to live godly lives, and raised their children the best way they knew how. There is no shame or judgment towards my friends, I have known them our entire adult lives. But I do know the shadow that their own children have cast on their family reputation.
I also know something else. God’s stories are very long and prayer still works. A momma’s prayer, a daddy’s prayer can move mountains and shake the heavens to bring about change in the hearts of our children. So like the prodigal father who waits, everyday looking for his son to come home, so I know that there can be a “come to their senses” and a desire to return home. Angry words towards and bitter images of our prodigals will not bring them home. However, a godly prayer and prophetically seeing a redeemed image of possibility will yield a huge hug and welcome home party someday. How important is it to raise a child in the wisdom of God? The difference between great joy or great grief in all of our futures!
Prayer:
Dad,
My job, our job is not done even though our children are grown. We still influence them and their decisions. They still need us to speak godly wisdom into their lives. Plus, we now get to focus on our grandchildren and not only reinforce what the parents may say, but put our own special touch of grand wisdom and love into their lives as well. Many a child have rejected a parents advice but still hold to the love of their grandparents. Help us continue to give our family your grace and wisdom to leave a godly legacy!