Tag: family

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Offended and amazed.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Jesus left that part of the country and returned with his disciples to Nazareth, his hometown. The next Sabbath he began teaching in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed. They asked, “Where did he get all this wisdom and the power to perform such miracles?” Then they scoffed, “He’s just a carpenter, the son of Mary and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon. And his sisters live right here among us.” They were deeply offended and refused to believe in him. ‭‭Mark‬ ‭6‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

For anyone who has tried to rise above their circumstances or station in life, even Jesus faced familia familiarity! Jesus returns home, as an adult, as a well known Rabbi, with rumors of miracles he had performed. Of course, coming back into his hometown as a recognized Rabbi, he would be invited to speak at his synagogue.

Mark doesn’t give us the same detail of Jesus’ reading, nor his shocking words we find in Luke’s gospel (4:21). Mark just tells us that Jesus spoke and they were “amazed.” The consensus question; “where did he get all this wisdom and power to perform such miracles?” Remember when Jesus spoke? It was said that he did so with “authority.” But the amazement quickly faded into dismissive disbelief.

Mark writes, “they scoffed.” And, they were offended! The Greek word, “skandalizó,” they believed that Jesus scandalized them – sure, offended – but even more, that Jesus was beguiling them, setting a snare, a trap. They believed that their own homegrown understanding of Jesus was that he returned as some kind of city-slicker con-man! Where else could Jesus have gained all these abilities? With all of this local, mis-guided gossip they convinced themselves that Jesus was a fake! Jesus own community would not believe and Jesus was truly astonished at their unbelief, their lack of faith. Jesus uses an ancient proverb, “A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his own family.”

This scene, this rejection of Jesus just because they were family and they were familiar with his beginnings, reinforces what Jesus told his disciples in Matthew 10, “all nations will hate you because you are my followers.” And, “Don’t imagine that I came to bring peace to the earth! I came not to bring peace, but a sword. ‘I have come to set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. Your enemies will be right in your own household!’” Jesus told them, and us today, people will hate us or turn against us because of their own unbelief! There comes a point when we have to realize that sometimes friends and family are not rejecting us, they are rejecting God – and it turns their hearts. I had a stepdad like this. My stepdad Ben, didn’t exactly oppose me, I was just a nobody, a teenager. Ben’s battle was with the God he despised.

When we feel rejection, it’s hard not to think it is all about something we’ve done or who we are. It is helpful to remember there is more going on than we know. If Jesus hometown folks treated him with disdain, why would it be any different for us.

Prayer

​Dad,
I am still baffled as to how your own son, doing Your will with grace and mercy, with miracles following, could possibly be mistaken for a religious scandal. It truly highlights the duplicity and complexity of our human hearts. This is just one of many aspects of our brokenness that you came to heal and restore. Thank you for persistently putting up with us! Amen.

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The Sordid Past of Jesus’ lineage.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

”All those listed above include fourteen generations from Abraham to David, fourteen from David to the Babylonian exile, and fourteen from the Babylonian exile to the Messiah.“ ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1‬:‭17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The disciple, journalist and author, Matthew, is extremely detailed in his historical and genealogical record of Jesus. Even though we plow through a long list of names, there is a story behind each one of them.

Notably, Matthew listed the names of five women – an unheard of move at the time. And in those five women, we have pictures of either their sinful past or their horrific, unjust circumstances. Tamar disguised herself as a religious prostitute and tricked her father-in-law Judah into getting her pregnant. Rahab was a prostitute and a Gentile. Ruth was a Moabite, again a foreigner, forbidden to marry for a Jewish male. Bathsheba, she is the woman King David raped, forcing an adulterous relationship with her and murdering her husband, Uriah, one of David’s previous “mighty men” crew. Then, of course, Mary herself, who was “found to be pregnant,” and Joseph wasn’t the father of the child! This is just some of Jesus’ “mom’s” story.

The men, through Jesus’ foster dad, Joseph, didn’t fair much better. In the list of Israel’s great kings, more than half were wicked leaders! Six were good kings, great men. However eight were awful! One of those worst kings, Rehoboam, listened to his young friends’ advice and it split the twelve tribes into two factions – Judah (10 tribes) and Israel (2 tribes).

In a sermon series called, “Coming Home,” I ask a couple of questions, “Why didn’t Jesus’ heritage come from a long and consistent line of righteousness, upstanding men, and women?” and “How does knowing that Jesus came from a sordid past give hope to those with imperfect families or pasts?” I really wrestled with some difficult questions in Jesus’ birth story. Why did God CHOOSE to do it this way? We’ve glamorized the Christmas Story in so many ways and I agree it’s a cute, wonderfully fuzzy tale to tell. The truth is much darker, mysterious and definitely not safe for young children – and apparently not safe for the church either!

It’s because in ALL THINGS, Jesus was human says, Hebrews 4:15. That included a some seedy family struggles that were not hidden in history, but openly listed to give us hope! If you have come from an imperfect family story, this should give YOU hope. Quit comparing yourself to the false narrative that church families have it all together and have some kind of holy, supernatural perfection in their family story. The only miracle we ALL share is that God’s grace is enough to change and redeem a broken family story and make it brand new!

Prayer

Dad,
You can and do make all things new! Even years of horrible family origin stories filled with pain, shame and struggle. But that’s why every one of the broken people, listed in Jesus’ genealogy were highlighted. In the darkest of situations, you shine bright with full disclosure and grace. Our stories, even filled with shame, should not be hidden, but should be told in light of your grace. It is not what we’ve done in sin, but what you have done in redemption! Let Your story eclipse ours, bringing light to shadows and our dark history. Thank you for your grace, mercy and enormous light that dispels darkness.

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Orphan to Queen.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“At that time there was a Jewish man in the fortress of Susa whose name was Mordecai son of Jair. He was from the tribe of Benjamin and was a descendant of Kish and Shimei. His family had been among those who, with King Jehoiachin of Judah, had been exiled from Jerusalem to Babylon by King Nebuchadnezzar. This man had a very beautiful and lovely young cousin, Hadassah, who was also called Esther. When her father and mother died, Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.” ‭‭Esther‬ ‭2‬:‭5‬-‭7‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I’ve know several adoptees and fostered children who have grown up hoping and wishing for a grand purpose, almost a fantasy to help make sense out of their loss, their life. Being an adoptee, I can relate. Coming from a difficult, disconnected birth story and struggling to find your identity in your parents or family history can be really disheartening. So, sometimes we make up stories to ease the pain.

The book of Esther was written during the time of captivity in Babylon. There were lots of famous Bible characters that came out of the seventy years of captivity. Daniel, Esther, Ezra, Nehemiah and the fiery story of the three Hebrew young men (Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah) who would not bow to Nebuchadnezzar. Esther’s story is an adoptees dream come true.

We know very little about Hadassah’s (Hebrew name) parents, other than the fact they died when she was young. Why was she called Hadassah? Hadas (Heb. הדס), is the word for a myrtle tree. The myrtle tree was a symbol in ancient Israel, because the righteous are called myrtles. As it states (Zechariah 1:8), “And he was standing among the myrtles [the righteous prophets Chananiah, Mishael and Azariah, otherwise known as Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego]. Mordecai, stepping in as her rescue relative, adopted her into his own family. He raised his young cousin as his own. Just reading this line in the Bible story gets me all emotional, “Mordecai adopted her into his family and raised her as his own daughter.”

Mordecai became more than just a father to Hadassah, he became kind of like her life-coach, her career manager as she grew up to become a beautiful young woman that God would use to save the Jewish nation. Mordecai has his own heroic story in Persia under the reign of Ahasuerus. Mordecai’s loyalty and bravery are highlighted in the story as he helps Esther foil the plot of Haman, the king’s Vizier, to exterminate the Jewish people. How many attempts have been made to eliminate the Jewish people? Egypt, Assyria, Persia, Roman Empire, Germany…

Hadassah’s (Esther) story becomes a real life fairytale come true, from an orphan to the Queen of Persia! However, the bigger story in this amazing book is all about God’s grand story of redemption. God keeps his promises. And, God will accomplish all that He has set out to do through His will. We are in His story, even today. So, if you are an adoptee, or fostered or have come from a bleak and dark family history. Just know this, God has a purpose and a purpose and a plan for you! Your heavenly Father sees and knows every part of your story. And, even better, God knows how it ends. Although my story is not an “orphan to king” kind of story, I am living far beyond anything I would have ever believed was possible because of God’s mercy and grace – His redemptive plan for me!

Prayer

Dad,
I am so thankful for these adoptive stories in your grand story. I am so thankful that even Jesus was raised by a foster Dad, Joseph, who adopted him as his own. This gives a lot of us, who have come from difficult childhoods and soiled family reputations – hope! Hope in you.

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Family frustrations and fate.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Come quickly, Lord, and answer me, for my depression deepens. Don’t turn away from me, or I will die. Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Rescue me from my enemies, Lord; I run to you to hide me. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing. For the glory of your name, O Lord, preserve my life. Because of your faithfulness, bring me out of this distress. In your unfailing love, silence all my enemies and destroy all my foes, for I am your servant.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭143‬:‭7‬-‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

All of us, at some point in life, have family issues that tear at us. Family disagreements, conflicts and explosive physical violence rock our peace and safety to the core. I mean, where do you go when your home is not safe? How do you sleep, eat and live? A disruptive home rattles everyone and everything.

This Psalm was written while David’s son, Absalom, was not only laying claim to the throne, he also put out the order to kill David! This caused David to run for his own life – again. In this gritty prayer David shows us by example of what and how to pray. Read the whole Psalm. This is recorded for all of Israel and all of us today to know that things can go awry even in a king’s household.

David’s family was no where near perfect, unless you’re describing a perfectly dysfunctional family. David let’s it all out. He’s desperate. He’s depressed. He’s trapped with nowhere to go. He tells God, “you’re all I’ve got!” Ever feel like that? We read the pleas for daily connection with God, “let me hear of your unfailing love each morning.” And he is asking God where to go, what to do next. “Show me. Teach me. Lead me.” Ah, in the abandonment of all hope is the beautiful cry seeking the right way out. What does rock bottom, the floor, eating humble-pie look like? It looks like there is no where left but up and out with God.

Soon after this prayer, Samuel tells us that things very quickly turned around. “When David arrived at Mahanaim, he was warmly greeted by Shobi son of Nahash, who came from Rabbah of the Ammonites, and by Makir son of Ammiel from Lo-debar, and by Barzillai of Gilead from Rogelim. They brought sleeping mats, cooking pots, serving bowls, wheat and barley, flour and roasted grain, beans, lentils, honey, butter, sheep, goats, and cheese for David and those who were with him. For they said, “You must all be very hungry and tired and thirsty after your long march through the wilderness.” ‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭17‬:‭27‬-‭29‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Sadly, but necessary Absalom was killed by Joab, David’s general. ‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭18‬:‭14‬ ‭NLT‬‬. And when David finally received word that his son was dead, he wept and wished he had been killed instead. “The king was overcome with emotion. He went up to the room over the gateway and burst into tears. And as he went, he cried, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you! O Absalom, my son, my son.” ‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭18‬:‭33‬ ‭NLT‬‬.

Prayer

Dad,
Reading these stories about David, from the humble beginnings to his eventual rise to power and the throne, fascinated me. From the giant-killer moment, to victory in battle, and running from Saul. Then sitting on the throne as king and peace in the land. Either boredom, pride or greed then drives David to becoming a rapist and murderer. I read all about the family dynamics inside the beloved house of David. I did not want to be like him! Sure, I wanted to be a giant killer, but never a king. All that came with being hunted down several times, having multiple wives and the entire mess of his own sons, I didn’t want that at all. David’s whole life was such a paradox! He went down in history as being the most beloved king of Israel but also had the most dysfunctional family ever. And still, through his lineage, through his legacy came the messiah! What a wonderful, messy heritage. Thank you for the recorded insights of what went on in David’s life through the Psalms. It is a gift to anyone who comes from nothing, has a horrible, chaotic path, and still experiences your mercy, your forgiveness. And still becomes a big part in your grand story of saving humanity. Great job God!

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Oh Little Town of Barley Bread

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Then Elimelech died, and Naomi was left with her two sons. The two sons married Moabite women. One married a woman named Orpah, and the other a woman named Ruth. But about ten years later, both Mahlon and Kilion died. This left Naomi alone, without her two sons or her husband.” ‭‭Ruth‬ ‭1‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Three verses describe the most devastating story for a woman to experience in ancient times. Famine causes the couple to leave home and go to a foreign country, a country with more resources than their own. It was either starve or move. Elimelech and Naomi decided to move.

They make the roughly a 50 mile trip taking two weeks to travel on foot. The couple left Bethlehem, the house of bread to go to “the seed of my father.” The name Moab means “he is of my father,” a perpetual reminder of Moab’s incestuous beginnings of Lot’s daughters getting their father drunk so their lineage would not die in the desert. Interesting comparison to the two cities.

Elimelech and his wife survive the famine, only to succumb to something worse – all the males in their family die in Moab. Naomi is not just widowed, but her and her two daughters in law are alone.

What looks like the worst possible outcomes in a string of tragedies, is the backdrop of our own redemption!

Naomi had heard that her little bread town had sprung back to life, producing much of her nation’s barley supply. So she decides to make the trip back home. Even in her bitter state of mind there is grace when she tries to convince her daughters to go back to their families, try to find husbands, so they might have another chance at a life and family. There is an odd sense that Naomi feels responsible for her sons’ death and leaving these girls destitute without a future. Both girls wept, wanting to stay with Naomi. Then one of them decided it might be better to just go home, so Orpah left Naomi in tears. But Ruth wouldn’t leave. She too felt a strong bond with her mother in law. Samuel adds a critical detail, Naomi says, “your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods. You should do the same.” Ruth declares that she is not just staying with Naomi for her sake, but also because she has made a declaration, a decision that Naomi’s God would be her own God as well.

After returning home, back to the little town of Bethlehem, the story dramatically turns into a beautiful, romantic love story involving Boaz as Ruth’s “kinsmen redeemer,” the family redeemer of the Elimelech’s bloodline and legacy. What starts out as one of the worse tragedies in the Old Testament is cloaked in one of the critical moments in the historical birthright and lineage of Jesus, the Messiah.

Yet another example of God choosing a Gentile, a Moabite, a non-Jew to carry the family story. This gives me hope. My lineage, my family name, both of them – Spear and Garvin were not all that stellar when I received the baton. Yet, because of Christ, God has redeemed and restored my own family name to a place of honor and godliness. It’s all because of His grace!

What’s your story? Are you living in tragedy? Or have you come from some shameful stock such as Ruth, who’s relatives came from Lot and his own daughters? God can and does restore and redeem our travesties and turns them into triumph.

Prayer

Dad,
Wow! What a grand story 🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼. You make all things new. You can make all things right. You can turn our mourning into dancing, our fears into faith. There are so many lessons to be learned here from Naomi, Ruth and Elimelech. Naomi, who wanted to change her name to Mary, found that although she came through bitterness, her life represented one of the sweetest parts of our Savior’s story. Thank You for being such a amazing weaver of good stories.

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Lineage and legacy.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Salmon was the father of Boaz (whose mother was Rahab). Boaz was the father of Obed (whose mother was Ruth). Obed was the father of Jesse. Jesse was the father of King David. David was the father of Solomon (whose mother was Bathsheba, the widow of Uriah).” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1‬:‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

How far back do we look into our past, our story? Genealogy took a whole new interest with the introduction of DNA tracing. Now with a little spit test and some money, you can find out who your great+ grandparents are. Just a few connections back you can discover first through fifth cousins as well.

Matthew, the former tax collector, not only had an interest in but an obsession with family lineage, every self respecting Jewish did! It was all about who you were connected to. Interestingly enough, Matthew had to list ALL of them, the good, bad and ugly relatives and relationships.

Look who shows up – Boaz’s mom was Rahab! After the Jericho moment, the girl gets her life back and marries into the legacy of Jesus! And just a few relationships later, Bathsheba shows up. The woman who was king-raped by David then commanded an assassin, Joab, to put Uriah (Bathsheba’s hubby) on the front line, then pull back the men, allowing the enemy archers to do the deed. These dirty family secrets are usually buried and hidden from the kids and grandkids! NIV translates it like this; “whose mother had been Uriah’s wife,” and doesn’t even mention Bathsheba’s name because in the Greek, Matthew doesn’t record her name!

Yet, God does not allow us to hide from our sin and He weaves it right into His grand story. Take a look at the 42 generations from Abraham to Jesus and you’ll find the highs and lows of humanity in there. The next time you might think your family is all that – good and clean – dig around a few generations back, you’ll find the shame we all bear. And, if you think your lineage is filled with corruption and dysfunction, murder and mayhem – welcome to God’s grace and use it for His glory. FYI, after doing the genealogy test, I found out that I trace back to the Hatfields and McCoys from the hills of Kentucky. Thanks great+ grandma for marrying into one of the United States most bloody family feuds.

Prayer

Dad,
Whew – Family! What can I say? I survived several generations of selfish, wild living, hard drinking, multiple marriages and dark stories my Aunt would never tell me about! It’s quite a miracle that Robin and I would celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary this week. And, that we have six (three because of marriage) amazing adult children and three young grandgirls as well. Your grace filled humor is evident in my life as well as Robin’s. Good job keeping us in your mercy and kindness. Thank you!

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Rich memories of home.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“A house is built by wisdom and becomes strong through good sense. Through knowledge its rooms are filled with all sorts of precious riches and valuables.” Proverbs‬ ‭24‬:‭3‬-‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Such an odd little proverb about building a house with wisdom, good sense and knowledge. Of course, the wisdom writers can’t be talking about buildings, even though it states the rooms are filled with riches. If Proverbs was a curriculum package for young men, I could see how this would begin to teach and sway them to seek wisdom to have happy homes and rooms filled with riches. Still, this isn’t a promise, it’s a principle.

Building a solid family does take wisdom. Using good or common sense does build character in the family members in the house. And, the most precious riches and valuables I have experienced in the “rooms,” are the incredible memories made there. Once you’ve moved out of your family home, especially the one you grew up in, most never get a chance to return and just re-live the memories that took place in each room. I have returned to my Aunt & Uncle’s home several times as an adult and every thing always seemed much smaller than I remember. That is a general rule in childhood, because we were once small ourselves and the world was SO big. The house was huge, the walk to school was long, the street and the block you lived on seemed like miles of sidewalk. We (our family) spent 25 years living in one house. That was long enough to go from birth to High School graduation or beyond for our older sons. Just driving the street and alleyway brings back lots of memories.

The wisdom writers could have been making a duel purpose statement when referring to riches. One, there are priceless riches in memories and each space filled with love. Plus, the actual benefit of being in a house, having a roof over your head and little worries about food or shelter. Our childhood memories, our origin stories are powerful enough to frame our attitudes and outlook on life for many years. A good childhood yields good memories and a healthy, positive sense of being able to replicate that when you become an adult. Contrarily, a tough childhood, filled with chaos and instability has quite the opposite effect on our outlook and perspective of adulthood especially when it comes to family.

Robin has wonderful memories of houses, homes and family growing up. Me, not so much. Many of my homes had trauma and uncertainty attached to them. Twice, my adopted mother had to pack up my sister and I to flee from dangerous husbands (one my adopted father, the other a wicked stepfather). Not so good on the ol’ memories of home.

I love the fact that Proverbs teaches young men and women about the value of godliness with character traits such as wisdom, knowledge and good sense. A good foundation doesn’t guarantee good results in building a home, but it gives some just as important- HOPE.

Prayer

Dad,
Not knowing any of these principles growing up, I think you did a good job of teaching me personally. It took a lot of work and I had a hard time catching up to anything considered to being normal or good. Even though I was ALWAYS on edge and fearful of doing the right thing, I was determined to trust you and do my very best at being obedient. Eternal thanks for your patience in teaching and mercy in times of failures.

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Some are just PASSIONATE about special abilities!

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“There are many different languages in the world, and every language has meaning. But if I don’t understand a language, I will be a foreigner to someone who speaks it, and the one who speaks it will be a foreigner to me. And the same is true for you. Since you are so eager to have the special abilities the Spirit gives, seek those that will strengthen the whole church.” 1 Corinthians‬ ‭14:10-12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

​The Apostle Paul gets down to some serious Spirit-business! Churches in Corinth, they’re a wild bunch. Smart, savvy, metropolitan, maybe even cool. They were probably wealthier than their sisters and brothers in the other cities. Corinth was a major seaport, and you know those sailors – just kidding. The city was a high concentration not just of proud Greeks, but people from all over the known world. They were there buying and selling goods.

The church there was also bustling. With a mix of backgrounds and former ways of life, people were a bit more celebrative, you know a “happy” group. Paul addressed so many abuses in their theology and behavior that he wrote three or four letters explaining, in detail, a lot of things of the Spirit. There were HIGHS, the love chapter and LOWS, the sexual permissiveness scoldings.

I love how Paul frames the “speaking in tongue’s” conversation – “since you are eager…” Paul uses a word, “zélótés” or zealous. However, the root of that word, “zeloo” is jealous, or “eager to possess.” This church was crazy passionate about spiritual gifts.

Fine, Paul says, let’s just keep this in perspective…use them to STRENGTHEN the whole church – cough, cough, not just yourself! I’m also interested because in the verses that follow Paul instructs them about two different kinds of people that are in the church gathering. Those who are believers, members of Jesus body, the gathering of saints. And… the unbeliever. For if you bless God (eulogeó) in the Spirit, how can the uninformed, the “idiṓtēs”– a person who conspicuously lacks education, status or understanding benefit and join in?

Paul is concerned both for the church folk AND the person who comes in off the street. He gives an illustration of preference in verse 19. In the (ekklésia) assembly, a congregation I would rather speak FIVE intelligent words or instructive words than 10,000 words in tongues. Does Paul believe in speaking in tongues? Absolutely, he does so often, he writes. However, when gathering have some order, have some understanding, READ THE ROOM Corinthians – it’s not just about ME or even US, it’s also about THEM.

Don’t ya just love that the body of Christ is so beautiful, so diverse in color and culture? Yet, we are family. We are “blood” because of Jesus. We may have “denominations” for practical reasons or even preferences, but we are ONE under the lordship of Jesus. Churches in Corinth and Rome may be different in expression, but they are the same in belief!

PRAYER:

​Dad,
I don’t like the fact that there are so many different “denominations,” but I get it. Folks have to be able to free to live and live in ways that make them feel more comfortable.

But still, we should be able to see that these different gatherings are based on preferences, not theology. I get diversity in unity because you made us so different from each other in personality.

But as family, we are the same. As family we are thrilled to gather TOGETHER and celebrate the variations of perspective and opinion. Help us Oh God be one even as you are one!