Nap champion verses decision maker

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“If you love sleep, you will end in poverty. Keep your eyes open, and there will be plenty to eat!” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭20‬:‭13‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Ramble Warning!

I often tell people that I could win a gold medal in napping if it ever became an Olympic Sport. I love sleep, so shouldn’t I be poor? As a teen, my body grew so fast that I had the growing pains of leg cramps often. For a while, my mom thought I only ate and slept. I remember going through junior high and high school constantly feeling tired. Once I hit my college years I was up early, working, going to school, and staying up late with homework and friend conversations. While in college I was a school bus driver at 19 years old! In between my route pickups I learned to take 10 minute naps. Parked by the side of the road, I would sit in the drivers seat, and take a quick nap. I got so good at it that I didn’t need an alarm, I just woke up refreshed and ready to go. They call it a power nap, but I saw it as a super power!

I write all this to say, this is not what this Proverb is talking about. This Proverb is among the collection of wisdom principles that deal with the fate of the sluggard! Isn’t the word “sluggard,” a visibly-visceral word. A very slow, oozing worm. Its cousin is to be slothful. Pour Sloth, they can’t help it. Both are wonderful word pictures of how NOT to do life! To quote Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

Life does move fast, but do you know what moves even faster? Opportunity! The point of these Proverbs is to not let a sleepy, slothful, sluggish eye or way of life rob you of the good things God has in store for you. One commentator said it well, “Open your eyes – Be vigilant and active. That is the secret of prosperity.”

Being an enneagram nine, with its shadow sin of SLOTHFULNESS, means that indecision and peace at all cost oftentimes leaves a person like me – STUCK. Frozen! Trapped by indecision. And, more times than I care to admit, a nap seemed the only way to save my sanity. I could not make a decision so I put myself on pause, my own personal time out. And in that beautiful, blissful, insulated world, I was free from the pain of making the wrong decision or a decision that seemed to cause someone pain. To the outside world it would be seen as though I was being a sluggard, a sloth. I was just defending myself from difficult decisions.

I have been on a journey to push against my sins, my fears, my tendencies to avoid or shut down. It’s still very hard. For those of you who have been mislabeled as lazy, slothful or a sluggard, I understand. Be patient with yourself as you grow and learn to lean into those tough indecisive moments. Sure, take a power nap if needed. Then, ask God for wisdom and make the decision. Just keep moving forward!

Prayer

Dad,
It was certainly a shock to discover you made me this way on purpose! I don’t like being overwhelmed with indecision or feeling the deep pain of being misunderstood when a decision must be made. And, I did feel far more at ease with retreating into myself than I did boldly asking for wisdom. It has been difficult to make the hard choices and decisions that come so fast in life. Yet, where I am weak you have promised to be my strength, and in my weakness your power is made perfect.

7 Questions To Ask BEFORE Giving Advice

Reading Time: 2 minutesI often think about what it would be like to grow up being the younger brother of Jesus. Talk about sibling rivalry! How could you EVER pin the “who put the donkey dung in sister’s bed?” on your brother? But after siblings grow up and mature they look back and see the threads of good, smart, gifted traits of their brother or sister. At some point siblings should be able to reflect back and see things more holistically. You know, James did NOT believe his brother, Jesus, was the messiah until after Jesus’ death and resurrection – right?

I believe that James writes not only from his own experiences but also from the authority of having known Jesus his entire life, from James’ earliest memories.

When I read in James, I don’t just see the power of an Apostle, I see the culmination of life experienced through his half-brother, Jesus, as well. What other author can write from that perspective?

James gives us this amazing process, filter or checklist when it comes to looking for (and I believe giving) wisdom.

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace reap a harvest of righteousness.”
James 3:17-18 NIV

Before giving wisdom it’s a good idea to sift through motives before moving to action. This is the kind of wisdom that is sought. Wisdom that is pure and thoughtful. This is what people are looking for when they need wisdom or advice.

Below is a great checklist I can go through BEFORE opening my mouth and espousing a flow of circular suggestions filled with trite tid-bits or cute colloquialisms.

When I’m asked for advice and consideration on a matter, am I willing to mentally walk through this little soul-check to see if I am just blowing wind or truly being helpful?

A friend asks, “Hey, can I get your thoughts on something?”

  1. Is my motivation pure and not filled with self-interest or self-gain?
  2. Am I willing to seek peace, resolution and restoration not trying to conquer, control or win a pithy-point to make me look better?
  3. Can I put myself under authority of another or be willing to yield my own rights?
  4. Can I imagine their pain or remember the experience of being broken, desperate or alone and apply a healthy amount of mercy as I think through the situation with them?
  5. Am I able to see an outcome that will produce beautiful, delicious, flavorful fruit for all involved?
  6. Will I focus on being neutral, impartial; to be moved by compassion but not be swayed by reactive emotions? And can I consider all sides or seek the other half of the story if possible?
  7. Will I remember to be real, authentic and human only bringing honest experiences to the discussion not quick, trite, social media driven platitudes?

Most often, people do not want advice as they want someone to listen. They want someone to hear there thought processes, help organize those thoughts for them and then repeat back what you really hear them saying or asking. However, if someone truly wants input, this checklist helps me center on them, not me.

So, from a nine on the enneagram, take my advice on James’ advice on wisdom.