Tag: Disordered desires

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Does God have a sense of humor?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

….So Balak, king of Moab, sent messengers to call Balaam son of Beor, who was living in his native land of Pethor near the Euphrates River. His message said: “Look, a vast horde of people has arrived from Egypt. They cover the face of the earth and are threatening me. Please come and curse these people for me because they are too powerful for me. Then perhaps I will be able to conquer them and drive them from the land. I know that blessings fall on any people you bless, and curses fall on people you curse. ‭‭Numbers‬ ‭22‬:‭4‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

These feudal, tribal, clan-clashing are all throughout the Old Testament. Yet, at each inflection point there is always a person, or persons (in this case) that God uses to tell His story. Here we have the major characters, Balak, king of Moab, Balaam, a wicked prophet (Balaam was a pagan prophet who practiced divination and other magic arts, led Israel into apostasy, and was identified as a greedy, unscrupulous man by Peter and Jude ( 2 Peter 2:15 -16; Jude 1:11)) – oh and a donkey, Balaam’s ride.

Oh Moab, the nation that came out of Lot’s grandson via an incestuous relationship with Lot’s daughter, who remained unnamed. Moab’s king, Balak, thought it would be helpful to get a prophet, known for being a spokesperson for God, to CURSE Israel because he thought they were a threat to his kingdom. Balaam’s reputation must have been well known. Balaam turns down the offer to be paid to “basically” make up a curse from God. Balaam knew God would not curse his own people and told Balak it wouldn’t work.

Balaam seeks God and God answers, “don’t curse my people.” But king Balak is persistent and keeps upping the bribe money. God finally releases Balaam to go with the entourage from Balak, but forbid him to actually curse Israel. Balaam leaves for his journey but in-route an angel of the Lord blocks the path of the donkey. Balaam can’t see the angel, but his donkey can. God told Balaam he could go with the Moabite men, but God must have known that Balaam was toying with the idea of pronouncing this curse. This happens three times and each time, Balaam beats the animal for stopping and for embarrassing him.

After the third time God grants the donkey the ability to speak! The donkey talks! Come on – this is hilarious. The donkey and Balaam have a brief conversation on the trail! The donkey says, “What have I done to you that deserves your beating me three times?” it asked Balaam. “You have made me look like a fool!” Balaam shouted. “If I had a sword with me, I would kill you!” “But I am the same donkey you have ridden all your life,” the donkey answered. “Have I ever done anything like this before?” “No,” Balaam admitted.”

This donkey-talk scene has captured so much attention as one of the most unusual but humorous parts of the Bible. Every kid going to Sunday School in the past would have heard about Balaam’s donkey! Feel free to insert your own donkey/ass jokes here. God commits three whole chapters in the book of Numbers to tell this story. And in this story, you’ll find a Messiah reference, an “easter egg” discovery of a mysterious mention of the future Messiah – Jesus (Num 24:17).

Sadly, even though Balaam does not curse Israel, in fact, he blesses them three times – Balaam does figure out how to trap Israel with their own lust and desires. Balaam advised the Moabites on how to entice the people MEN of Israel with prostitutes and idolatry. And, it worked. See it in Numbers 25:1-3. The men of Israel took the bait, believed the lie and gave into to their disordered desires. The results – God judge them and 24,000 people died from a plague.

The talking donkey was funny, but our sin and desires, causing us to disobey God is no joke. As a youth hearing this story, I was so focused on the donkey that I completely missed the fact that there is more than one way to curse people. The direct curse is one way, but the subtle manipulation of luring us away from God and towards the shiny object of desire is the other. The last one seems enormously more effective.

Prayer

Dad,
I really do appreciate the humor in this story. I even like the fact that the villain is forced to do what is right, for the short term. Oh, but I hate seeing a mirror reflection of our own desires, imagination and dark thoughts eventually wearing us down and winning far too often. That’s embarrassing to know that we can falter from our own curse within. I am still in awe and wonder your grace and mercy offered to us! Thank you once again. Amen.

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Wisdom Authentication.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

”If you are wise and understand God’s ways, prove it by living an honorable life, doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom. But if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don’t cover up the truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.” James‬ ‭3‬:‭13‬-‭16‬ ‭NLT‬

Right now, many of the logins to apps or websites want absolute proof of verification that it’s really me. One of those verification tools is called an authentication app. It’s an app that produces a random number every few moments and that number has to match the login request. It’s a high tech authentication process!

James writes that wisdom also requires authentication. The verification that one is both walking in wisdom and understanding God’s ways is what? Behavioral proof! James, the brother of Jesus watched, first hand, the way Jesus lived, probably closer than others. Jesus spoke a lot, he taught, he preached, and he prayed. But the most powerful lessons were learned by how he treated others. James had a premier seat to observe God’s wisdom being lived out in Jesus!

Doing good works with humility verses boasting, lying and living a jealous, selfish life is an amazing authentication process of true, godly wisdom. But James pushes the message of human wisdom even further. He basically says that human wisdom reeks of jealousy and self ambition and it is epigeios: earthly, psuchikos: carnal or sensual, or daimoniódés: demon-like! Demon-like? Whoa. Where you find this boiling zeal of self, this carnal ambition, James writes that you will find nothing but disorder, instability, disturbance and anarchy in the moral sphere.

Our culture is currently filled with human wisdom today! This human wisdom has eroded all sense of honor and good and looks much more sensual, selfish, even demonic. God’s wisdom is clearly contrary to our human desires. And, God’s wisdom shows up, not in hot words spewed in judgment, but rather living and behaving in honor and humility. In these culture wars and outbreaks of rampant social viruses, our authenticity is found in doing kalos: beautiful, attractive, good anastrophé: behavior or conduct. If I want to really be wise, I must convert my good words into great behavior and live it consistently.

Prayer

​Dad,
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you (and others) Oh Lord! Help me translate and convert all the good things I know about Your wisdom into behaviors to those around me. It may take longer, but it will have a much more eternal effect on me and those around me. Thank you for your wisdom, operating in mercy and grace for us! Amen.

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Satisfying the cravings.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭63‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

David writes this psalm while running and hiding from the Mad King Saul, in the wilderness of Engedi. The scene in Samuel 24 is right out of Junior High textbook on funny things that happen in life. David and his men are using the caves as a hiding place, and they are deep into the protection of the mountain when Saul just happens to have his troops right outside. But then it turns into a dark comedy because Saul has to relieve himself and it’s not #1, it’s 💩 time. Where better to do your business than in a nice dark and quiet cave, right? And it’s perceived as SAFE.

Unbeknownst to Saul, his son-in-law/successor to the throne is already inside, probably whispering and giggling with the irony of the situation. David has the complete advantage to kill Saul, but refuses to do so. Instead he sneaks up and cuts off a piece of the king’s robe. I don’t know if the cave scene influenced this psalm, but it had to have boosted David’s faith in the middle of a dark season for him.

Instead of David writing about his hopes and dreams for a future as king and all the advantages that come with ruling a nation, he writes about a different longing. He writes about craving God’s presence. And he beautifully writes, “you satisfy me – MORE…” More than a feast. More than finding water in the desert. More than life itself! Can God satisfy the deepest desires of our human heart? We crave a lot of things! Our heart directs us to want things that are not good. Our heart is willing to accept fake knockoffs of experiences and substances to temporarily satisfy or to fill the holes of loneliness, love and loss. And, in those cheap exchanges, which never last, we find only guilt and shame. Shame because we know we reached for a substitute instead of searching for what’s real.

David in his deepest moments of trouble and an overwhelming sense of his lack of control reached for God! His soul reached out and found that God fills the holes, the gaps, the angst with His own presence. It is interesting that David discovered this overwhelming joy in the midst of uncertainty. Contrast that to his future decision when he had need of nothing – but sadly reached for something else, someone else. He saw Bathsheba and he took her. Strong in weakness and weak in strength, what a conundrum. God can satisfy our search in desperation, but can He can also satisfy when our search, our craving, is out of our sin?

Prayer

​Dad,
Searching for you when everything is dark and uncertain is one thing. And I know you are there to satisfy those fears, those agonizing moments of the unknown future. Those desperate times when our brains fill in the blanks with the worst possible outcomes. I know you satisfy, you calm, you center when I am filled with overwhelming emotions and fighting against the waves of a storm that continue to crash upon the shore of my soul.

However, just as critical, are the moments where my heart and mind drift and start seeking elsewhere, looking for something to fill my sin-cravings. Can I depend on you to fill and satisfy me then? I need you just as much when I turn from my disordered desires, and look to you for my deliverance, my rescue. In those moments I want to thirst for you and find joy in you. Thank you for your presence in both moments when I am lacking or distracted by lacking nothing.