Tag: discipline

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Does God “gentle parent” us?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child. ‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭5‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Gentle parenting is a current style used by many to positively, affirmingly, understand their child’s behavior and allows them to self-correct. “A parenting style that focuses on empathy, respect, and connection to help children develop strong social skills and emotional intelligence.” And, “Gentle parenting focuses on parenting children without shame, blame, and punishment. This style of parenting centers around collaboration between parents and children.”

The author of Hebrews leans on an ancient Proverb and gives us a practical interpretation, Proverbs 3:11-12. Proverbs ends with this, ”For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Proverbs uses the Hebrew word for discipline, “yakach,” to decide, adjudge, even to argue! Hebrews uses the Greek word, “paideia,” the rearing of a child, training, discipline, correcting and proving. The Greek has the idea of chastening or purifying. This shows up in verse 13, where the Greek word, “mastigoó,” to scourge, appears. There is just no way around this very strong use of physical pain to be used in training. Does God send “severe pain” in the best eternal interests of the believer?

Anyone who studies the idea of the discipline, even in the context of learning skills, especially in sports, knows that pain is critical in the development of our own muscles! Pain may not be literally delivered in physical whippings or beatings, but life itself frequently delivers warnings in the learning process. When we fall, touch fire or electricity we experience pain! It’s a really good reminder, even an educator, to not repeat the behavior. The focus of the verses, here or in Proverbs, is not really the pain of discipline, it’s the idea that correction, chastening and proving is an act of love! For a parent of a young child to withhold warning, correction, even proper, age appropriate physical pain, to train a child about authority and boundaries would not be love. Proverbs speaks of the reason it is so critical, “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child! “ It is also bound up in the human heart. The Hebrew word for foolishness, “ivveleth,” is from the word, “evil.” Look, if we came out of our mother’s womb with a moral sense of goodness, purity and wisdom, then parenting would hardly be necessary. Ah, but we are not born with an internal sense of good, are we? We use the word for babies referring them as innocent, but that’s just because they are needy and defenseless. It doesn’t take long for any parent to realize they have a self determined will and most, not all, are excited to challenge you.

However, whether you believe in gentle parenting or hard boundaries with gentle, physical consequences for clear challenges from a child, the point is God does discipline us. And, God does so with physical corrections because he loves us. What does it look like? It’s different for every person. I believe that God uses circumstances and even people to deliver His discipline. What have you learned? Have you recognized correction from God? If you wonder what will happen when we purposely continue to choose sin, challenging God with his own loving boundaries, God will step in to keep us on His path.

Prayer

​Dad,
Not only do I believe your Word when you clearly discipline those you love. I have experienced your correction, and have learned to recognize it and respond with confession and repentance. I know it’s for my own good. I know it’s because you are watching, and are actively keeping me accountable because of your faithfulness, patience and love. Thank you for your boundaries, and your discipline! Amen.

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Obedience out of love or fear?

Reading Time: 4 minutes

So Moses returned from the mountain and called together the elders of the people and told them everything the Lord had commanded him. And all the people responded together, “We will do everything the Lord has commanded.” So Moses brought the people’s answer back to the Lord. Then the Lord said to Moses, “I will come to you in a thick cloud, Moses, so the people themselves can hear me when I speak with you. Then they will always trust you.” Moses told the Lord what the people had said. Exodus‬ ‭19‬:‭7‬-‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

These Exodus passages are a great place to think about our human nature, especially when it comes to doing what is right or wrong – obedience to the law or rules for living or doing whatever we please.

Let’s face the facts, the nation of Israel, the chosen people of God, had faced the most intense, supernatural occurrences over several weeks, maybe months, known as the plagues. But, whether the ten plagues lasted forty days or three months, we can be guaranteed that the entire group of Egyptians and Jews went through a living nightmare of horrors. If that wasn’t enough, the mind-blowing phenomenon of a narrow escape across the Red Sea, then a pillar of fire by night and a massive cloud by day led the nation to this holy place called Mount Sinai! It could be said that it was either a glorious or traumatizing set of events. And Moses was at the center of all of it – God’s chosen stutterer, turned super leader in a very brief time.

When Moses came down from the holy mountain and told the people what God had spoken to him, it’s not surprising that they responded together, “we will do everything the Lord has commanded.” They were probably still terrified of Moses’ God. The Bible is very open about the fact that the people DID NOT obey… at least for long. Let’s set aside the fact that God told Moses, the visual, audible show of a cloud with booming noises coming out of it was for a specific reason – so the people would TRUST Moses. Ok, great. But these passages help me ask the question, did the people obey out of fear or love? And, how effective is obedience out of fear verses obedience out of love? You could argue the point that Israel loved God and loved pleasing God. But I offer this, I believe they were re-establishing a relationship with God that had been abandoned since Jacob and his son Joseph led the nation. Heaven had been silent for several hundred years! I don’t think they knew God all that well.

Is obedience out of fear effective? Of course it is! Is obedience out of fear expedient? Yeah, it works pretty quick. Just watch what happens when a Highway Patrol vehicle pulls onto the highway. The speed limit instant becomes every driver’s best friend. But does obedience through fear engage an enduring change of both behavior and heart? Is it not true that love takes longer, but is far more successful for a lifetime of obedience? Ask any Dad, “would you rather your children fear you or love you?” Ah, that’s tricky isn’t it? Fearing your Father for the right reasons, like the ultimate goals of safety, security and delayed success for your future – is a good fear! Ask a Dad if they “would rather their children respect them or love them?” Good Dads, great Dads want BOTH. Why? It’s the best outcome for the child’s sake!

I am not advocating that fear has no place in our obedience to God, it’s just that our relationship must mature to a point where love becomes the primary motivation to do what is right. That’s why God says he prefers obedience over sacrifice. Sacrifice can be faked, obedience can’t. Even, if one doesn’t obey for the right reason, it is still beneficial. Do you know how often I hear my friends express gratitude for their strict parents? Parents that held the line, set the boundaries and corrected their children when they disobeyed. They held those boundaries until the child became an adult – understanding the necessity for rules and even fear-based compliance. I don’t know if you’ve noticed that children and/or youth make some really stupid, even life-threatening mistakes. Some of these “mistakes” have horrible, life-altering consequences – that are permanent.

Shouldn’t maturity and a growth in our understanding of God, drive us to be obedient more out of love than fear? In surrendering to the discipline, the correction of the Holy Spirit, I am yielding – more out of love for God these days, and less out of fear.

Prayer

Dad,
It has certainly not been easy to be raised in more or less, a fatherless home environment. I rarely felt safe, rarely felt loved, valued or protected by a good, loving father figure. That lack of discipline made it much harder to do what is right for the right reason. You know my sense of right and wrong was based on getting caught or getting away with something! It was not helpful at all as a young man. But when I was learning to be obedient and even disciplined out of your love it was both amazing and extremely difficult. Thank you for your long, enduring patience with me. Thank you for your grace still today. You are such a good Father to me and I am eternally grateful.

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Fathers’ discipline & correct.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

”My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.“
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

In a cultural milieu of anti-patriarchal conversations, the Bible is either out of sync OR it’s timeless truth that shapes our lives, our families and especially our children.

The wisdom book, the eternal expression of God culminating in the life of Jesus, has a lot to say about parenting! Fathers play a significant role in the lives of children- it’s a sociological fact, backed by solid statistics of their influence in the family unit.

What is truly amazing to me is that while doing a sermon series prep, I came across this theme in both the book of Judges (2:19-22), Proverbs (3:11-12), Corinthians (1 Cor. 11:32) and Hebrews (12:5-8). Israel, God’s chosen people, had an awful time cycling in and out of sin and disobedience. God would rescue them, and they would run right back to idols and fake gods, doing despicable things. God would then judge them – harshly, allowing other nations to raid and plunder their cities.

Almost no one wants to talk about discipline or correction, especially as adults! I mean it’s great to talk about it as parents raising children, but who disciplines and corrects adults? God absolutely does! All these Bible verses make it clear – God corrects those he loves and delights in. Hebrews goes further and says, “Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father? If God doesn’t discipline you as he does all of his children, it means that you are illegitimate and are not really his children at all.‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬” BOOM💥! Leaving us alone and to our own selfish ways would mean that God abandons us, proving we were “nothos,” a bastard, illegitimate child!

This is a strong word for parents who feel that they shouldn’t impose their will, their morality, even their beliefs on a child. By NOT doing so they are showing a disinterest, a disdain for the child’s welfare in their future. This nonsense that a child should choose morality or beliefs for themselves is a damnable lie, destroying a foundation that allows a child to feel safe and know they are loved! A child cannot and should not “raise” themselves!

Fathers, keep correcting your child because you love them and delight in them. Adults, know this; God isn’t mad at us when he corrects us. He purposely roadblocks our drive to get what we think we want – when it’s clearly wrong. God loves us and delights in us when he brings in someone or something to knock us off our destructive path. I try so hard to ACCEPT, not reject the Lord’s discipline, knowing that is for my own good!

Prayer

Dad,
Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between being harassed by the enemy of my soul OR being disciplined because of my bad choices. I depend on the Holy Spirit to pinpoint the issue. And, when I realize it’s because of some dumb, selfish decision I made – clearly SIN, I repent and yield to whatever you bring as consequences for my actions. It’s hard, but I know that you love me. I am so thankful you don’t let me wander off or storm off too far before you send a little pain and struggle my way to humble me and get me back on the right path. I am so grateful for your grace and mercy towards me. Amen.

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Daniel’s extraordinary experience in Babylon.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Let this be recorded for future generations, so that a people not yet born will praise the Lord. Tell them the Lord looked down from his heavenly sanctuary. He looked down to earth from heaven to hear the groans of the prisoners, to release those condemned to die. And so the Lord’s fame will be celebrated in Zion, his praises in Jerusalem, when multitudes gather together and kingdoms come to worship the Lord. Psalms‬ ‭102‬:‭18‬-‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

To read the full story about Daniel and his rise to power, serving as an advisor to King Nebuchadnezzar, as well as rising above the evil subterfuge and plans to have him killed, you need to read the book he wrote about his life in captivity. A quick search of “Daniel in the Bible,” will give you the quick summary of his life.

One commentator summarizes it well, Jack Zavada writes, “Daniel was a young man of Jewish nobility taken into captivity by Nebuchadnezzar in the third year of Jehoiakim and renamed Belteshazzar. He was trained in the king’s court and then elevated to a high rank in the Babylonian and Persian kingdoms. Daniel the prophet was only a teenager when introduced in the book of Daniel and was an old man at the close of the book, yet never once in his life did his faith in God waver.” Another writes that “Daniel was the most learned man in the Old Testament and most thoroughly trained for his important role in history and literature.” Daniel had revelatory dreams, he also interpreted dreams and was an advisor to several kings during Israel’s captivity.

This Psalm captures the deep heartache that Daniel carried for his beloved people. Even though he lived most of his life surrounded by the elite, wealthy and powerful politicians of Babylon, he was not swayed nor distracted by their success. He kept his heart pure and his mind focused on God! Daniel writes this Psalm as Israel prepares to be released after 70 years of captivity.

Now, as the nation faces going home to complete devastation of their city and their homes, they are free but have to rebuild and start over. Their temple had been rebuilt, but it was nowhere near the glory of their first one. Nehemiah oversaw the miraculous rebuilding of the city walls, so they would be safe. But there was so much to do and the entire nation had to come to the realization that they had seriously sinned and God had disciplined them severely for it.

Daniel writes a key phrase, “let this be recorded for future generations.” It was tough, but God brought them through. It was humiliating, but God rescued them once again. Daniel wanted the future children to remember. Not the struggles, not the groanings, not the heavy load of accountability for their behaviors – no. Daniel wanted them to remember God saw them, God delivered them and God would restore them! God is worthy of worship!!!

This is a lesson for us who have lived and seen the marvelous miracles and historical moves of God on our nation and in His Church. Whatever discipline, whatever chastisement we have deserved, God is faithful to see us, deliver us and restore His Church to be that spotless, wrinkle-free bride before Jesus returns! God has shown Himself worthy throughout our human history and He will continue to do so.

So for us, we can take Daniel’s advice, his admonition, to gather together as followers of Jesus, as His Church, and come to worship the Lord! I believe a spiritual revolution is coming! So I want to be REUNION READY for those who will come home, those who will turn their hearts toward God and believe!

Prayer

Dad,
I am, we are as the Church, being prepared for you to pour out Your Spirit on this beautiful blue globe, in our nation, states and cities. We are waiting for you to pour out Your Spirit of truth, lifting the blindness from our eyes that promise unfulfilled lies. We will witness the supernatural move of Your Spirit once again – maybe for the last time before Jesus returns for the final days of justice and end of all things here on this planet. May Your fame be celebrated throughout the earth! Amen.

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Spirit Time Out

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Saul, also known as Paul, was filled with the Holy Spirit, and he looked the sorcerer in the eye. Then he said, “You son of the devil, full of every sort of deceit and fraud, and enemy of all that is good! Will you never stop perverting the true ways of the Lord?” Acts ‭13‬:‭9‬-‭10‬ ‭NLT‬‬

First trip out and there’s both opportunity and barriers. A few guys meet together for prayer, then BAM – the Holy Spirit speaks to them! The group had some men gifted in the prophetic and teaching. Barnabas, Simeon, Lucius, Manaen, and Saul met in Antioch. The Holy Spirit speaks to them and says that Barnabas and Saul should be sent out on special assignment – the beginnings of many missionary journeys.

Then, on this little island of Cyprus, some big stuff is about to happen. Barnabas, Paul and John Mark get invited by the governor, Sergius Paulus, to hear the Word of God. Fantastic start, right? It’s interesting that there was already a subterfuge planted in the story, “But Elymas, the sorcerer (as his name means in Greek), interfered and urged the governor to pay no attention to what Barnabas and Saul said. He was trying to keep the governor from believing.” This guy was actively PREVENTING God’s work from going forward.

Have you ever seen this while on a mission’s trip, or in the church? There are folks subversively working against the gospel! Saul/Paul was not the kind of guy to just let that nonsense go. Paul looks the man in the eye and calls him out! He names the man as the source of what could be blocking the governor from believing in Christ. He calls him a son of the devil – sound familiar? It’s similar to what Jesus called the religious leaders.

Elymas was playing for the wrong team. Paul, under the influence of the Holy Spirit, calls out the content of this guy’s heart and motives. Elymas was full of deceit and fraud and an enemy of all that is good. Elymas was perverting, distorting, corrupting the clear, straight ways of God. Paul then puts Elymas in a time out – since, the man was already working in and for darkness, it seemed only fitting that his correction be BLINDNESS for a while.

There are so many times I have seen men and women subvert and attempt to block the Word of God, to distort the gospel, but we’ve become so accustomed to kindness that we fail to correct. Elymas wasn’t being kind, he was deceiving and perverting! As Pastors and under-shepherd’s we’ve given up our call to protect the flock and simply confront the wolf. Let’s think about this. This could be some of the reason folks are so wary of going back to church, because they have found no protection from guys like Elymas. The results – people end up blaming the pastor or church leadership for the harm done to them. I’ll be the first to admit, there has been a lot of bad decisions in the inner-core of church leadership. But I have seen more bad actors, pretending to have good motive, who have been allowed to get away with deceit and fraud.

Elymas had to be put in timeout to allow Sergius Paulus, who was an intelligent man, to hear the truth of God’s Word! In all love and patience, our church folk have got to see that correction is just as godly as mercy! By the way, Paul didn’t drop Elymas like Peter had done with Ananias and Sapphira!

How did Paul know what was going on in Elymas’ heart? Luke tells us, Paul was, “filled with the Holy Spirit.” For all you non-pentecostals, you ask, “isn’t that risky?” or worse, some believe that these bold actions of being led by the Holy Spirit today are even of the devil! Which is worse, confronting and correcting a bad player or allowing them to freely cause pain and confusion in the body of Christ? Elymas, and the likes, work subtly, sneaking around with whispers, half-truths and gossip, interfering and urging people to listen to them. For the sake of the gospel and the safety of the flock – Pastors need to be bold in the Spirit and look the Elymas’ in the eye and call out truth.

Prayer

Dad,
You know me. As much as I can’t stand bullies in the church, those who take advantage of the innocent, I can’t stand slippery deceivers as well. Help us Oh Lord to do our job as shepherds, protecting the flock. Give us wisdom and boldness to hear your Holy Spirit and confront those who subvert what is right to suit their own desires. Give us grace and protect us from evil from within.

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The view on the road back home.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“When the Lord brought back his exiles to Jerusalem, it was like a dream! We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. And the other nations said, “What amazing things the Lord has done for them.” Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy!” Psalms‬ ‭126‬:‭1‬-‭3‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What’s it like coming back home or reconciling with family and friends after you’ve left, drifted or stormed off in anger. It’s tough. I have no understanding of Israel’s forced captivity in a foreign country as a disciplinary action from God. They were marched out of their land and into Babylon where they were immigrants for 70 years – that’s a long time! And while they were gone, their beloved homes, city and temple were all ransacked and destroyed.

They only small comparison I have is being given up for adoption at four years old. My world, my home, my toys, my neighborhood friends all gone. I was placed with a new family, in an unfamiliar apartment and never did returned home. All that was left for me was fragments of memories, like an assortment of puzzle pieces that do not fit together to make a picture.

For Israel, the journey back was humbling and difficult. Everything they remembered had to be rebuilt – their homes, their city wall and their temple. Ezra, the priest, convinced them to rebuild God’s house before doing anything else! And, it made sense because it was the neglect of God’s house and His commandments that put them in the generational time-out to begin with.

When things go wrong, it’s hard to figure out this concept still today. Am I being disciplined by God? Is this just life in a broken world? Or, am I being targeted and harassed by the devil? Oh, you didn’t know that God still disciplines either putting us into timeout or allowing it to happen? Sorry to break it to you. God loves us enough to come after us, even if it means putting us into situations that require us to look up and reevaluate our decisions!

This Psalm captures the hope, the joy of not just returning, but the giddiness of rebuilding. Rebuilding a life, a home, a church or a city is certainly difficult, but it beats captivity! It’s a wake up call to remember what freedom is really all about – freedom to do right, not do whatever we want. The Psalmist, Ezra, declares “YES! The Lord as done amazing things for us! What joy!” It’s honest and real after being gone for so long.

Prayer

Dad,
Oh my heart just breaks for those who knew you, loved you and then for so many different reasons, decided to walk out. Whether is was some awful experience in life or the church or just wandering off, looking for something else. It’s still painful for me to watch. So many friends, so many family members who walked away from you. I don’t plan on leaving your presence, even when I’ve been exiled in a holy timeout for my own good. Where would I go? You are the author of life. You have given me so much. I cannot deny nor turn away from that. However, I ask that I do not become the “elder brother” in the prodigal story, comparing my life to others and thinking I need a big party celebrating the fact that I never left. No, help me to always be the father in that story. The one who daily goes out waiting, watching for those who’ve decided to come home!

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Powers that pound the throne.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Your throne, O Lord, has stood from time immemorial. You yourself are from the everlasting past. The floods have risen up, O Lord. The floods have roared like thunder; the floods have lifted their pounding waves. But mightier than the violent raging of the seas, mightier than the breakers on the shore— the Lord above is mightier than these! Your royal laws cannot be changed. Your reign, O Lord, is holy forever and ever.” Psalms‬ ‭93‬:‭2‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

When I first wrote about this Psalm, I did not know it’s author was Daniel and it was written while he and the majority of Jewish people were captives in a foreign land. One of the best, quick resources I came across was a Bible resource link to describe the probable date each Psalm was written and who wrote it. https://bit.ly/psalmsdates.

Psalms is a collection of writings. This Psalm describes the hope of God’s power and ability to stay in control while everything else feels like a destructive storm. Daniel describes how powerful these pounding waves can be. Babylon was the biggest and strongest force on the planet at the time and it looked as if the nation, that king would destroy the throne of God himself.

We have the benefit of knowing the before and after! Babylon was used as a disciplinary entity to put Israel in a 70 yr timeout. Yet, this massive kingdom would not overtake God’s throne. Think about this. There is no kingdom past, present or future that has storm-waves big enough to destroy God’s eternal throne. NOTHING can stop nor thwart the will of God! Not then, not now, not ever.

Daniel’s hope in God paints the picture of one of the most powerful forces on the earth – the seas. Untamable and unstoppable itself. As the sea, depicted as God’s enemies, roars, pounds and breaks on the steps below the throne of God, it will never overtake it. Daniel states this majestic truth, God’s royal laws cannot be changed and will never be subverted! This Psalm is a reminder of hope. No matter the size and relentlessness of the storms we face here on this planet, may they be attacks or even directed disciplines, they will never diminish God’s power or his throne! I take comfort in that. The darkness, the chaos may be great, but our God is GREATER.

Prayer

Dad,
I do not find fear in your power, I find comfort in it. I find hope in this; no matter what I see going on around me – you are on the throne that will never be overcome. No matter what I feel, my trust, my faith is steady in your power. “My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus’ blood and righteousness; I dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus’ name. When darkness veils his lovely face, I rest on his unchanging grace. On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand: all other ground is sinking sand; all other ground is sinking sand.”

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Riddle me this young Padawan.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Their purpose is to teach people wisdom and discipline, to help them understand the insights of the wise. Their purpose is to teach people to live disciplined and successful lives, to help them do what is right, just, and fair. These proverbs will give insight to the simple, knowledge and discernment to the young. Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables, the words of the wise and their riddles.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭1‬:‭2‬-‭6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Proverbs was written, likely as a school course for young men (according to Tim Keller). You just can’t get any clearer about the purpose of the book, the collection of the wise and their riddles. To teach people to live disciplined and successful lives.

Who doesn’t WANT discipline and success? Well, Proverbs also helps us with that answer in later chapters. We find it is the either the FOOL or the REBELLIOUS.

The rebellious is obvious. Throwing off constraints, doing what they think is right and ultimately whatever they want to do. They learn through bloody noses, broken bones and lots of trouble with parents and authorities. They feel invincible and indestructible, yet they tend to damage everything around them. What’s the greatest excuse the rebel uses later after burning down everything around them? Why didn’t someone stop me? Uh, because you wouldn’t listen.

The first group, the fool, is trickier. There are purposeful, malicious fools and the thick-headed, bumbling ones who can’t figure out why they have no real friends.

Proverbs is written to help people who want wisdom, to find it. And by warnings, to try to keep people from being the rebel or the fool, knowing they will not listen or heed any advice. The wise person admits they do not know and want to learn, the rebel cares about nothing but themself and the fool is sadly stuck in a loop for life.

Proverbs isn’t a casual read, one-and-done experience. It was written to be explored, held in tension and to experiment with the process. You read a Proverb like 16:9 when you’re young, then mediate on it in your 30’s, 40’s and beyond. “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Like I’ve written before, I read one entire chapter of Proverbs every single day when I was 16 years old and did so until my 20’s. I determined to LIVE my life based on Proverbs 16:9.

I memorized verses, I learned that if I got wisdom it was the only way it would make up for my shyness and social awkwardness. When I started Proverbs I just wanted to be normal, by the time I was 20, I discovered that normal was overrated and boring. Actually, because of Proverbs I just wanted to be who God created me to be! I was differentiating from what the fakes and fads were trying to pull off while trying impress others. I would be stubbornly obedient to God, opposite of resolutely rebellious. I would run towards God not from Him. I would seek to cause good trouble, not backing down from a challenge. I would not ignore bad behaviors or choices of friends when I deeply loved them, even risking their friendship to tell them the truth. Remember, “better the wounds of a friend?” (27:6).

Proverbs sharpened my social skills and gave me an edge of godly perspective when life was challenging. Proverbs even gave me kind of sixth sense when people were lying to me, using excuses to hide from what they knew was true, or even twisting God’s Word to fit their circumstances. God used Proverbs to do just want Solomon wrote, teach me wisdom and discipline.

If you lack wisdom and discipline or your life feels out of control, commit to reading this 31 Day guide, then repeat as often as possible. NO ONE can do this for you! It isn’t a quick fix and can’t give you instant results, but it works! And, unlike all the other self help methods, this one is backed by Jesus himself – the very wisdom of God.

Prayer

Dad,
Where would I be, who would I be without you? Everything good that I have came from you. Every good and decent thought or behavior is there because of you. Your word has been and is a light shining ahead of my feet! As I look back, I am so grateful for your grace and abundant wisdom!

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Value people for the win.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“So watch yourselves! “If another believer sins, rebuke that person; then if there is repentance, forgive. Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.” Luke‬ ‭17:3-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus, in “red letter words” talks openly about sin. He does not do so as often as you might think. But here Luke records Jesus talking about it with some warnings. Seventeen opens with, “There will always be temptations to sin….” Then after reminding us that being a temptER is worse, Jesus lays out the warning, “watch yourselves!” What a thought. We spend a lot more time and energy watching OTHERS do their sin, than we do our own sin. It makes laugh when Jesus says, “IF” another sins. I think it’s more like “when,” right Jesus? 😬

Jesus uses this word that we have all kinds of stereotypes built around – REBUKE. Don’t we rebuke demons and our dogs? Sounds pretty harsh, right? It’s the word itself that fascinates me.

The Greek construction of this word is NOT match the imagery. The word is epitimaó: to honor, to mete out due measure, hence to censure. Properly, assign value as is fitting the situation, building on (Gk epi) the situation to correct (re-direct).

Its fundamental sense is “warning to prevent something from going wrong.” Think about this. The word comes from two words, epi: on, upon and timaó: to fix the value, estimate. We’d recognize the word timaó because it comes from the word “time.” So this often seen as judgmental word is really a deep sense of valuing someone to help point out serious consequences completely in the framework of timing! In my granddaughter’s preschool class, her teacher has a “red choice” vs “green choice” system to help the children understand choices they already made. That they were helpful or not helpful, kind or unkind. But what if they had a “yellow choice” indicator just BEFORE the behavior happened? The timing of the yellow choice warning or “rebuke” would be seen as a helpful, valuable, even a loving action.

It’s not an example of sin, but it would be much like Robin warning me, while driving, when she’s sees a pedestrian coming into the crosswalk as I’m about to make a turn. Her warning, her “rebuke” is a timely and valued moment that prevents me from hitting, thus hurting another.

Notice the order in which Jesus gives us this wisdom of God. If another believer sins (clearly just for Christ followers) – it’s already happened. The timely and valued warning is helpful for breaking a pattern that will absolutely lead to relationship breeches between us and God and us with one another! I think that’s why Jesus chases that truth with this. “Even if it happens seven times a day.” Well, there’s a fine “terrible two’s” scenario! I have to be vigilant and consistent MORE THAN ONCE. Yep. Oh, I hear you. If you were to say, “but what if they (we) don’t WANT those timely and valued warnings when they (we) are in process or planning of SIN! And, you’d be right. The warning, the rebuke, even when spoken in grace, is often taken as controlling or judging or even meddling in our private affairs.

Ah, that’s why we really don’t like the word! There’s a real possibility of someone flashing the yellow choice option, but they (we) REALLY want to ignore it. BTW, when Jesus says, “if” there is repentance, think of it in terms of not just being sorry… sorry would not have helped me or the person I hit in the crosswalk. The best way to look at repentance is exactly what the word means – metanoeó, “change one’s mind.” Thus, changing one’s behavior.

Prayer

Dad,
It seems like this conversation of unity, cooperation, mutual benefit and trust are much more difficult in a divided culture and specifically a community of believers. How can we trust each other to handle our lives, decisions and behaviors with this timely, valued warning? Most of the body of Christ perceives that “judging” anyone or anything is wrong and should be avoided. This makes rebuking almost impossible without massive drama and blowback. Have we, have I, isolated ourselves into a dark corner of self where we are not just alone in our sin, but also alone in seeing the blind spots we all have?This is really a sad situation we’ve gotten into. Will you help us (me) to remember that you know what you’re talking about and trust you in your eternal wisdom? Even when this whole topic feels like we are walking on eggshells, and fearing co-dependent reactions?

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Someone’s gotta do it.

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“Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.” Proverbs‬ ‭19:18‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Discipline your kid!

Discipline- yasar: to discipline, chasten, admonish. While there is a thread – tiqvah: cord of waiting – qavah: wait.

It is translated as “hope.” Interesting that the Aramaic word for discipline is to “bind.” The Hebrew language is a language of imagery and built around words that illicit emotion and deep stories of the past. These words are like that. In dealing with sons, we would say children because it’s applicable, there is a stern parental instruction given.

Bind your kid now in the hope, the “cord of waiting,” that it will save their life! Sure discipline sounds better, even harsh chastening sounds better than tying your kid up until they learn to behave.

Here’s the point, someone’s gotta do it!

Most children will not discipline themselves! I say most because I have come across the rare and extraordinary child that has a social perception and sense of self awareness at a very young age to behave pretty much on their own. I WAS NOT that child.

Either a good, loving parent teaches, models, and corrects bad behavior or attitudes or someone later will do it for them. That will likely be a future police or parole officer.

Some parents have it very hard when faced with a little bully or bad seed, but it’s still their job to help their own child, protecting them from their own poor decisions in the future. The discipline, the hard conversations, and natural consequences done at age appropriate moments may slow or stop their self-driven demise.

All my parents, my adopted mom and three different dads tried their best to teach, even discipline me. But too often they had their own demons and lacked self discipline for themselves. All five of my parents had childhood struggles or like the prodigal son, ran off to live their own version of “freedom.” So, I wasn’t exactly given the gift of discipline and I would have ruined my own life if it weren’t for Jesus rescuing me. For our own children, I credit the well balanced serving of discipline to Robin. Her parents gave her the best kind of loving discipline- solid boundaries until she was old enough to make decisions for herself. FYI, keeping Robin from bowling alleys and movies did not ruin her life!

Prayer

Dad,
It was tough learning some kind of discipline at fifteen instead of five. And since I hated team sports, I didn’t even get the chance to be coached. So I took longer to catch on and my life shows the discipline-deficiencies even today. Yet, I am thankful you got a hold of me when you did. It looked like it would have gone bad much faster as I went through my angsty teens. Thank you for that. And thank you for “binding” me with a cord of waiting while you worked on me!