Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and make me willing to obey you. Then I will teach your ways to rebels, and they will return to you. Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves; then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness. Unseal my lips, O Lord, that my mouth may praise you. Psalms 51:12-15 NLT
If our lives were portrayed in a book, a memoir containing the entirety of our life and legacy, what should be written? The early years, of course. The backstory to who you are, or were growing up. The “origin” story, they call it. Many have wonderful childhoods, solid families and lots of great memories. Those would make it into the book, right? Some have difficult family stories, filled with dark traumas and secrets not whispered.
It is believed that David wrote half of the 150 Psalms! And, in all those writings, we find a plethora of emotions – high highs and devastating lows. Psalms is the best for teaching folks to not only spend time WITH God in his Word, but also to be genuine and honest in our conversations with Him. Maybe even using some of David’s language as “training-wheels” to find our own authentic expressions of praise, frustration, anger, depression or repentance!
Psalm 51 is unique, even among David’s gut-wrenching epitaphs. It’s a whole chapter dedicated to an open confession and admission of guilt! Would we write a memoir that contained a chapter of our worst decisions, our biggest failures and our deep cries for forgiveness? David did.
David spends time translating FEELINGS into words, a talent few men have access to. Getting away with sin and regret is harder than we think. Our rebellion, our determination to protect self-will and desire is so strong, yet hiding sin has awful side effects and outcomes. Doing sin is just part of the process. But hiding it, masking it, scheming to cover our tracks, so to speak – that’s where our consciousness gets the best of us. Running, hiding, covering, lying and maintaining secrecy is the weapon of darkness, Satan himself. Keeping sin in the shadows eats at us. It consumes us, swallowing life and light around us. We can bury it, but sin’s wretched smell reeks and leaks no matter how hard we suppress it.
David knew sin is the joy sucker of life! He pleaded with God to restore his joy because JOY was missing, marred under the blackened ooze of fear and the hubris pretense of denial. He writes, FORGIVE ME! Whether we write a life legacy or just live one, we cannot escape or outrun our sin! It will come out. It will be revealed. There are no sin secrets in heaven. Get em out while we can.
Prayer
Dad,
Wow God! I don’t think David was trying to be a pseudo-psychologist or social scientist, but his godly wisdom is spot on. I am both convicted and convinced when I read this Psalm to see that MY sin is nasty and destructive. And, by holding onto it, being haunted by it, sucks joy out of my life and my walk with You. Please, forgive me of my sin. But also, forgive me for trying to manage or manipulate it away. I confess my sin to you so you can properly dispose of it, cleaning my soul and restoring what has been wasted and stolen from me. Thank you for your forgiveness and mercy. Amen.