Tag: Church Hurt

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Bringing it full circle.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

This letter is from John, the elder. I am writing to the chosen lady and to her children, whom I love in the truth—as does everyone else who knows the truth— because the truth lives in us and will be with us forever. Grace, mercy, and peace, which come from God the Father and from Jesus Christ—the Son of the Father—will continue to be with us who live in truth and love. How happy I was to meet some of your children and find them living according to the truth, just as the Father commanded. ‭‭2 John‬ ‭1‬:‭1‬-‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

John, writing to the Church and the children of the Church is ecstatic (exceedingly rejoicing) to find out that some are still walking with Jesus!

John says, he finds them “living according to the truth,” NLT translation. Here the Greek is much more specific and full of meaning. John uses the word, “peripatéō,” from two Greek words – walk and around. It’s a picture of completion, of closure, to walk around to complete a circuit or coming “full circle.” Whys that important? The old phrase, “God’s got no grandchildren,” comes to mind.

Each person, each family member needs to make their own decision of believing and following Jesus. Some believe, but don’t follow! Some seem to follow, but don’t really believe. Being raised in a Christian household or going to church their whole life, can be the best or the worst experience, depending on their own faith being anchored in Christ or casually taken as a family heritage. I’ve heard it said hundreds of times, “My FAMILY is…. Catholic.” Or whatever their religious experience growing up. There is more than just an age of accountability, knowing God exists. There is also an age of personal responsibility, a lifelong commitment to follow Christ.

John’s excitement is met with another possibility; some, but not all of our children will walk in truth 😢. There have been plenty of books, discussions and podcasts concerning the “children of the Church,” walking away from Jesus, from truth. Whether it’s church hurt, or they believe God is too boring or too weak, mean or unfair – some are not coming full circle of the faith of their parents or spiritual leaders.

Can we, as representatives of the chosen lady, the Church do better? Yes, we can and should! Yet, some will choose to believe and live for Christ and others will not. Should we love them any less, or treat them as apostates? Absolutely not. John’s admonition is to love ONE ANOTHER, but he takes a seriously hard line when it comes to the truth of Christ! He writes in vs 9-11, “If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house or give him any greeting, for whoever greets him takes part in his wicked works.” I don’t plan on excommunicating anyone, nor denying children of the Church hospitality, but the seriousness of spurning Christ is real.

Prayer

Dad,
This is such a tough topic these days! I am sure there have been thousands of cycles of faith and denial over the eons. Are we in a period of a “cleansing of Your Church.” Is this the winnowing Jesus spoke of? It is so disheartening to hear of so many who seemingly gave up or walked away. Yet, I pray that your powerful grace and mercy, your rich love and kindness will lead all of those who’ve wandered, back to repentance, back home to you! Amen.

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Do you believe in the Church?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

”I am writing these things to you now, even though I hope to be with you soon, so that if I am delayed, you will know how people must conduct themselves in the household of God. This is the church of the living God, which is the pillar and foundation of the truth. Without question, this is the great mystery of our faith: Christ was revealed in a human body and vindicated by the Spirit. He was seen by angels and announced to the nations. He was believed in throughout the world and taken to heaven in glory.“ 1 Timothy‬ ‭3‬:‭14‬-‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The Apostle Paul, roughly fifteen years Timothy’s elder, writes this letter to Timothy about the Church. The “Church,” as mentioned in the New Testament is not capitalized, but I think there is slight distinction between the local “church,” and the general “Church” overall.

Paul comes out strong, in support and acknowledgment of the power of Christ’s Church. Paul calls the Church the living pillar and foundation of “alétheia” – truth in the moral sphere, divine truth revealed to humans. A footnote says, “In ancient Greek culture, alḗtheia was synonymous for the word “reality” as the opposite of illusion, i.e. fact.” Of course it is understood that Paul is admonishing Timothy in his sacred, solemn duty as a Pastor. Timothy with the high calling which he was to perform. What Timothy was called to directly connected to the honor and welfare of the church of the living God. Question: Is the Church THE truth or is it the vehicle of the truth? Paul seems to be engaging Timothy’s deep conviction that, as Barnes writes, “the Church is entrusted with the business of maintaining the truth, of defending it from the assaults of error, and of transmitting it to future times.” This should put every true follower of Jesus on notice and with a stern warning, be careful how we handle the Church! Be careful of the accusations of the “bride of Christ.” Watch out and guard our hearts when we speak of “church hurt,” critiquing or criticizing God’s Church as though it were just another man-made institution. It is not. We post veiled threats, mean memes and present the Church as though God was somehow disappointed and disconnected from His Church. He is not. Of course, the Church is made up of the body of believers, the “assembly,” the community of faith, and no doubt we are flawed human beings. Yet, Christ said himself, that He will build His Church and the defensive gates of hell will not prevent, not prevail against the Church from moving into the darkness with the light of Christ, redeeming humans that He died for! We should not be in the business of judging the Church, we should be judging ourselves and let God deal with His Church! (1 Peter 4:7).

I love the Church! It became family, it became encouragement and accountability. It became exactly what Paul challenged Timothy to- a high calling, an honor and privilege to serve. When Jesus comes for His wrinkle-free, spotless bride, I will let Him do the work of making us holy and without fault. I just don’t trust the un-churched, de-churched, decontructed folks to pull it off.

Prayer

Dad,
I’ve got to be honest, You and Your Church have been good to me, good for me. Sure, there have been plenty of bad actors along the way, but I will let you deal with them directly. I have people hurts, but not church hurts. Jesus, make us ready for your return! Continue to make us and mold us into your image, back to imago dei. Thank you for the holy, high calling of serving the people of God. It has been an honor to do so. Amen.

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Paul’s beef with Barnabas.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

After some time Paul said to Barnabas, “Let’s go back and visit each city where we previously preached the word of the Lord, to see how the new believers are doing.” Barnabas agreed and wanted to take along John Mark. But Paul disagreed strongly, since John Mark had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not continued with them in their work. Their disagreement was so sharp that they separated. Barnabas took John Mark with him and sailed for Cyprus. Paul chose Silas, and as he left, the believers entrusted him to the Lord’s gracious care. ‭‭Acts ‭15‬:‭36‬-‭40‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Are you shocked to find out that leaders in the Church, as well as just normal followers of Jesus also have serious disagreements between them? Yeah, no one is immune from being human! Not even among the most influential duo team in the New Testament Church.

What was Paul’s beef with Barnabas? It was all about John Mark. Who was John Mark and what did he do to get the Apostle Paul so riled up? We already know that Paul was mission driven. And, we know that Barnabas was a mercy-driven encourager. That’s exactly why the team worked so well. Luke tells us that Paul was still not happy with John Mark, over what he considered to be an act of desertion! However, each leader felt so strongly about this disagreement that Paul went one way and Barnabas went another. Who was right, – neither, both? One commentator summarized it well. “John Mark was a helper on Paul and Barnabas’ first missionary journey (Acts 13:5). However, he did not stay through the whole trip. John Mark deserted Paul and Barnabas in Pamphylia and left the work (Acts 15:38). The Bible does not say why Mark deserted, but his departure came right after a mostly fruitless time in Cyprus (Acts 13:4–12). Only one conversion is recorded in Cyprus, but there had been strong demonic opposition. It’s likely that the young John Mark was discouraged at the hardness of the way and decided to return to the comforts of home.”

Now, before we jump on Paul’s side seeing John Mark as a weak, momma’s boy, as some have said; how about also looking at the facts: their were fruitless efforts and demonic opposition! Throw a young man into a mission’s trip like that and we might say, “maybe John Mark just wasn’t ready for such intensity!” Does a lack of preparation, and taking a step back disqualify one for all future mission’s trips? Our two children did a mission’s trip to Fiji and they came back with frightening, almost traumatizing stories of what they experienced. But they were warned ahead of time by seasoned missionaries. They did not happen to go back, but their hearts were forever marked by that experience.

Desertion or not, when Barnabas suggested that they give John Mark another chance, Paul was vehemently against it! And, in this case, Barnabas decided that mercy and second chances were more important than just writing John Mark off. Barnabas went to BACK to Cyprus and took John Mark with him! You don’t think this was a healthy, life-lesson in John Mark’s life to go back to a difficult place with new eyes and some experience behind him? And, look what eventually happened! Paul eventually comes around calling John Mark a “fellow worker” (Philemon 1:24). And near the end of Paul’s life, Paul sends a request to Timothy from a Roman prison: “Get Mark and bring him with you, because he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11). Plus, it is no small detail that John Mark’s gospel (the book of Mark), is an amazing account of Jesus life as experienced through the life of Peter. So, although beefs between believers happen, there should be reconciliation and definitely second chances. I would hate to imagine if John Mark, hurt by Paul’s own passion for Christ’s mission would have called it quits – sighting “Church hurt,” as the reason he would not get back to work in the Kingdom of God!

Prayer

Dad,
We just desperately want to pedestalize our leaders, thinking they cannot, or should not make mistakes or bad decisions that hurt others. But they are just human just like the rest of us ordinary folks. I am so glad you had Luke record all this and thankful that it came full-circle to reconciliation between Paul, Barnabas and especially John Mark. Also, thank you for second or seventh chances at getting it right. Amen.

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What’s beyond church hurt?

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you. Don’t let those who trust in you be ashamed because of me, O Sovereign Lord of Heaven’s Armies. Don’t let me cause them to be humiliated, O God of Israel. For I endure insults for your sake; humiliation is written all over my face. Even my own brothers pretend they don’t know me; they treat me like a stranger.” Psalms‬ ‭69‬:‭5‬-‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

King David, writing much of the psalms, had some real self-reflection, self-awareness moments throughout the book of songs. Oddly, this psalm was an actual song David sung, because the Bible translators give an accompaniment – to the tune of “Lilies.”

We might think that leaders across the spectrum of all our own societal structures as stalwart, solid, sure and absolutely arrogant in their bravado. At a time when trust is at its lowest, I wonder if David’s honest humility might be more appropriate, even in modern times of crisis. David writes and sings these psalms of confession, these admitted weaknesses and failures. This is such a loud voice in these seasons of “church hurt.” David’s line jumps off the page when I think of our own context today, “Don’t let those who trust in you be ashamed because of me, O Sovereign Lord of Heaven’s Armies.” I was just talking with a friend and saying something similar. Leaders, like church folk, are not perfect! Mistakes will be made, hot words will be spoken and slow responses to bad actors in the body of Christ will be apparent. Will I be the leader, the under-shepherd/pastor to hurt others? Maybe it’s inevitable. But can I own the fact that I have and will make mistakes, behaving un-Christlike in the way I handle people. Can I admit when I’m wrong, own it and apologize? These are apparently rare traits in societal leadership today. It’s more like blame, coverup, and lie your way out of it!

David owned his sin and his failures. He even put some of them to song! However, earlier in this psalm he wrote a lot about sinking in a sea of misappropriated responsibility. He owned up to his part, but would not take the fall for his enemies lust for power and control.

I love this phrase he writes, “Even my own brothers pretend they don’t know me; they treat me like a stranger.” Have you ever sinned and had to face the consequences among friends and family? Have you ever made horrible choices that almost destroyed your life and hurt those around you? Uh… David did as well. Most people feel as though they can’t face the people that knew them BEFORE things fell apart. They feel the shame-stare moments, believing that all eyes are on them in judgment and dismissal. David felt that. He even had this as a line in his song, “I am the favorite topic of town gossip, and all the drunks sing about me” (vs 12‬). Read the rest of Psalm 69, you’ll discover you are not alone. It wasn’t the end of David’s life, nor will it be the end of yours. Come back, come home, endure the pain, push through the shame and do what David did, “…I will praise God’s name with singing, and I will honor him with thanksgiving.”

Prayer

Dad,
I do not want to be the kind of pastor that makes mistakes, especially when it comes to hurting others – but I know I have and will continue to do so. I can’t promise to not make them, but I can promise to try to own them and humbly apologize and reconcile when I do. However, I decided early on, that I will not let anyone or anything create distance between you and me! I will not allow anyone’s bad behavior to wedge into my relationship with you. I will not give the enemy that kind of foothold into my life! Help me, help us, Oh Lord to continue to be people of forgiveness and reconciliation. Help me show mercy, even as you have show me mercy. Show grace, because you gave me grace. Amen.

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Blood much thicker than water.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing.” ‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Peter is a family man. He was married and possibly had kids. The Chosen series portrays Peter and his wife as having a tragic miscarriage, maybe so.

Here in his letter to the churches he writes about how family (wives and husbands) should behave, then naturally talks about how the Church should behave. Some churches, especially as they age, seem to gain a reputation of treating their own members worse than their own blood family. Peter doesn’t mention it, but it is a Biblical truth. The church, the body of Christ does share blood! They share the blood of Christ that washed and cleaned up each and every one of us who believe. So, as followers of Christ, His blood is way thicker than water!

Peter states the obvious that is often missed or purposely ignored in “the Church.” This was true then and it’s just as true today. The family of God should be of one mind, a word that speaks of harmony or frequency, no sharp dissonance in our words and behaviors towards each other. Then Peter uses one of the 23 “one another’s,” mentioned in the New Testament. He writes, sympathize with each other. Have a shared passionate suffering as though you were mourning together. Peter couples that word with the Greek word, “eusplagchnos,” which root word, “splagxnon,” is a medical term. Splagxnon are the visceral organs! Our “bowels” as they exercise positive gut-level empathy.

We must get away from treating each other so awful that it’s worse than what one faces in the culture of the world! He admonishes the Church to BE tender, BE humble. Then lays on the tough part, DO NOT RETALIATE! Don’t give evil for evil or insult for reviling, abuse.

But Peter, that’s exactly what we do! We were hurt badly, so we MUST hurt back! We were treated horribly, so we must return the favor! We don’t need to bless them, we need to teach them a lesson. They need a lesson, not a blessin’. People shouldn’t be mean and vicious in Church, but if they are, we will give it back to them a thousand times worse because it’s what they deserve!

This is why the Church can be such a difficult place to gather together because we’ve used the Bible as an excuse to judge and condemn each other. When we treat each other horribly, we are NOT behaving Biblically. Forgive, reconcile, keep no records of wrong! Peter begs us to employ God’s method of behavior towards us, “pay them back with a blessing,” and MEAN IT! Don’t fake a blessing, make it real. This word, “blessing” is the word Eulogy. You know, saying good words at someone’s funeral. Use the eulogy, speaking good words back, when someone is speaking vile about you. Find good in them. Find good in what God thinks of them. Then, speak it back and eulogize (bless) them. We’ve got to fix this about Church. We’ve got to start being Biblical instead of vomiting our supposed righteous indignation all over the family of God. It starts with us, let’s do it God’s way when we gather!

Prayer

Dad,
You know I hate the way we treat each other in Church, when we gather as the family of God, followers of Jesus. I am at blame as well. You know I’ve always hated it since I got deep into the culture of the church and saw what goes on behind the wizard’s curtain, otherwise known as “church leadership.” Sadly, I wanted to keep the young in age or in faith, far away from the inner workings of the church because it no longer looked like Jesus. We’ve got to do better, we’ve got to be better. We desperately need you to correct us, help us stay open and tender. Absolutely forgive us for misunderstanding the application of grace and truth by using power instead of humility. Wash our mouths out with your Spirit soap of mercy and make us clean. Amen.