Struggling with a mixed-marriage.

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh? Why did she say, ‘Can an old woman like me have a baby?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return about this time next year, and Sarah will have a son.” Sarah was afraid, so she denied it, saying, “I didn’t laugh.” But the Lord said, “No, you did laugh.” ‭‭Genesis‬ ‭18‬:‭13‬-‭15‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It is clear that the amazing story of Abram and Sarai had deep personal struggles in their marriage because they were not equal in the one of the most important, spiritual values as a couple. They were not equal in their faith!

In the beginning of their relationship they were both lacking a general sense that God is real and wanted to lead them, and bless them. Right at the start of their marriage they discovered Sarai was barren (‭‭Genesis‬ ‭11‬:‭30‬). That will rock any couple that desires to have children.

God directly speaks to Abram and tells him to leave, but does not tell him exactly where to go. Abram’s faith grows and he obeys (Genesis‬ ‭12‬:‭1‬-‭3‬). Arriving at each new city, Abram builds an altar and dedicates it to God.

Abram’s faith wavers when it comes to his beautiful bride, Sarai. Approaching Egypt he tells Sarai, please tell them you are my sister, fearing they will kill him and take his wife and possessions ‭‭(Genesis‬ ‭12‬:‭13‬). The Pharaoh of Egypt thought she was so hot, he took her into his own concubine and gave Abram a massive amount of gifts (animals and servants). God sent plagues on Pharaoh and he figured out that Abram lied about Sarai being his wife, not his sister (Genesis‬ ‭12‬:‭17‬)!

Later, arriving in Canaan, God again speaks to Abram reassuring him of the promise to bless him (‭‭Genesis‬ ‭13‬:‭14‬-‭17‬). Abram’s faith grows again. After rescuing his nephew Lot from a kidnapping, he meets with a mysterious man named Melchizedek, a “priest unto God.” Oddly, Abram gives Melchizedek a tithe, a tenth of all Abram had captured while saving Lot (Genesis‬ ‭14‬:‭20‬). Now his generosity grows as does his faith.

Again, God visits Abram in a vision, promising him a flesh and blood heir, a son and it will NOT be an adopted servant (Genesis‬ ‭15‬:‭4‬). Abram believes God and the declares him righteous because of his faith (Genesis‬ ‭15‬:‭6‬). But Abram’s faith wavers when it comes to believing God about this promise of inheriting the land as far as his eyes could see. so God makes a permanent blood-pact, or covenant with Abram, guaranteeing God’s own life as collateral (Genesis‬ ‭15‬:‭18‬). Just think about how many times God spoke directly to Abram and how many times he repeated His promises to him! Multiple times! Abram’s faith was growing, through struggles of doubt, but also through reassurance of fulfillment. Abram’s faith was soaring, but Sarai’s was SHRINKING!

By the time we get to Genesis 16, Sarai couldn’t stand it anymore. The couple was wildly wealthy in land, animals and servants, but there was no heir to secure their future! Sarai convinces Abram to take their future into his own hands by controlling their own destiny – take their Egyptian servant named Hagar and produce and heir! “So Abram had sexual relations with Hagar, and she became pregnant. But when Hagar knew she was pregnant, she began to treat her mistress, Sarai, with contempt” (Genesis‬ ‭16‬:‭1‬-‭4‬). What a mess! Sarai in her pain and frustration blames Abram -“This is all your fault! I put my servant into your arms, but now that she’s pregnant she treats me with contempt. The Lord will show who’s wrong—you or me!” (Genesis‬ ‭16‬:‭5). Ishmael is born but he and the mother were kicked out of the family, left to wander the desert where God saves them. This created a permanent rift between the Jews and the Arabs that still exist today!

God continues to speak to Abram, changing his name to Abraham and reaffirming His promises. God introduces another physical, contractual reminder to Abraham – circumcision, the cutting of flesh of foreskin for all males (Genesis‬ ‭17‬:‭10‬-‭13‬). God also changes Sarai’s name to Sarah, preparing her to receive the promised heir as well. Just a note, when Abraham heard God tell him the promise was still valid, even though he was 100 years old, and Sarah was 90, he laughed in disbelief (Genesis‬ ‭17‬:‭17‬). A year later Ishmael was born. And God’s promise became a reality. Ishmael became the father of twelve princes, and God made him into a great nation.

The point, God met with and personally spoke with Abraham multiple times and each time his faith grew. Abraham learned faith, it did not come to him naturally! Sarah did not have any of those personal experiences with God. She only heard about the promises from her husband, Abraham. Abraham’s faith journey was deliberate, Sarah’s was difficult.

This verse above sums it up well for this mixed marriage of spirituality, Sarah laughed because she struggled in her faith, and she lied about laughing because she was afraid! She wasn’t just afraid of being caught, laughing at the Lord’s promise, she was afraid to believe, afraid to have faith because she had lived focused on her fears and her decision to take control of her own destiny – convincing Abram to have sex with their young maidservant. Sarah’s laugh was a bitter reminder of how hard it is to believe God at his word!

Prayer

​Dad,
Faith is a serious thing with you! Believing you, trusting you, is paramount and vital to our relationship with you. Abraham believed and you saw it as righteousness! When I believe it is still seen as righteousness. Faith pleases you. It is hard for us to have that unseen, often unfelt leap to trust you. Yet, you know it is what makes this whole journey possible. And, it’s not just saying we believe, it’s living in such a way that proves that we trust you. I believe, I trust you. Thank you for your Word that reminds me and challenges me to live in that faith relationship with you! Amen.