“O God, you are my God; I earnestly search for you. My soul thirsts for you; my whole body longs for you in this parched and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in your sanctuary and gazed upon your power and glory. Your unfailing love is better than life itself; how I praise you! I will praise you as long as I live, lifting up my hands to you in prayer. You satisfy me more than the richest feast. I will praise you with songs of joy.” Psalms 63:1-5 NLT
David writes this psalm while running and hiding from the Mad King Saul, in the wilderness of Engedi. The scene in Samuel 24 is right out of Junior High textbook on funny things that happen in life. David and his men are using the caves as a hiding place, and they are deep into the protection of the mountain when Saul just happens to have his troops right outside. But then it turns into a dark comedy because Saul has to relieve himself and it’s not #1, it’s 💩 time. Where better to do your business than in a nice dark and quiet cave, right? And it’s perceived as SAFE.
Unbeknownst to Saul, his son-in-law/successor to the throne is already inside, probably whispering and giggling with the irony of the situation. David has the complete advantage to kill Saul, but refuses to do so. Instead he sneaks up and cuts off a piece of the king’s robe. I don’t know if the cave scene influenced this psalm, but it had to have boosted David’s faith in the middle of a dark season for him.
Instead of David writing about his hopes and dreams for a future as king and all the advantages that come with ruling a nation, he writes about a different longing. He writes about craving God’s presence. And he beautifully writes, “you satisfy me – MORE…” More than a feast. More than finding water in the desert. More than life itself! Can God satisfy the deepest desires of our human heart? We crave a lot of things! Our heart directs us to want things that are not good. Our heart is willing to accept fake knockoffs of experiences and substances to temporarily satisfy or to fill the holes of loneliness, love and loss. And, in those cheap exchanges, which never last, we find only guilt and shame. Shame because we know we reached for a substitute instead of searching for what’s real.
David in his deepest moments of trouble and an overwhelming sense of his lack of control reached for God! His soul reached out and found that God fills the holes, the gaps, the angst with His own presence. It is interesting that David discovered this overwhelming joy in the midst of uncertainty. Contrast that to his future decision when he had need of nothing – but sadly reached for something else, someone else. He saw Bathsheba and he took her. Strong in weakness and weak in strength, what a conundrum. God can satisfy our search in desperation, but can He can also satisfy when our search, our craving, is out of our sin?
Prayer
Dad,
Searching for you when everything is dark and uncertain is one thing. And I know you are there to satisfy those fears, those agonizing moments of the unknown future. Those desperate times when our brains fill in the blanks with the worst possible outcomes. I know you satisfy, you calm, you center when I am filled with overwhelming emotions and fighting against the waves of a storm that continue to crash upon the shore of my soul.
However, just as critical, are the moments where my heart and mind drift and start seeking elsewhere, looking for something to fill my sin-cravings. Can I depend on you to fill and satisfy me then? I need you just as much when I turn from my disordered desires, and look to you for my deliverance, my rescue. In those moments I want to thirst for you and find joy in you. Thank you for your presence in both moments when I am lacking or distracted by lacking nothing.