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The lost art of confession.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“When I refused to confess my sin, my body wasted away, and I groaned all day long. Day and night your hand of discipline was heavy on me. My strength evaporated like water in the summer heat. Interlude Finally, I confessed all my sins to you and stopped trying to hide my guilt. I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.” And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone. Interlude” Psalms‬ ‭32‬:‭3‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

We, as believers, as the Church, are a reactionary bunch. The Church practically ruined the process of confession by tying it to a sacrament involving a booth of secret exchanges between the sinner and a priest behind a veil. Confession was meant to be given to God and each other, not some mysterious sin eater. Then we bounced to the extreme of never having confession as a normal part of our fellowship and following Jesus in community.

Confession and repentance are not only threaded through the entire fabric of the Bible, they are clearly necessary starting from the beginning of our human existence. If Adam and Even had not blame-shifted responsibility off themselves, and just confessed who knows maybe the consequences or corrections wouldn’t have been as severe. Oh, sin would still be the death sentence that it is. But maybe the burden of labor and provision would be different for men and labor and delivery would be less painful for women?

Obviously David, after committing his heinous crimes, should have come clean before Nathan called him out. Was this refusal to confess before or after the confrontation? I’ve always had the theory that anyone who takes a life or commits violence against another human has to deal with a raging fire of guilt and the fear of getting caught. I imagined that the guilt eats the soul within and turns one into a beast, searing conscience and sucking out all emotion like love or compassion.

This Psalm carries a truth no matter the severity of sin or shame. We are not designed to carry guilt. And, it makes it paradoxically ridiculous when we have such a clear solution and simple option beckoning before us – confess and quit trying to hide it! To whom should we confess? First to God, then to one another.

It’s interesting that David, upon realization, confesses rebellion. Here we thought it was all about lust, objectification of a woman, lying, plotting and executing a murder, then trying to cover it all up. But rebellion? This is what the Bible has been trying to tell us all along. All sin is rebellion against God. It’s us, wanting our own way, not his. It’s yielding to cravings and what Augustine calls our “disordered desires” of what WE want, when we want it and won’t listen to anyone trying to dissuade us. The seven deadly fruits of sin are born from the roots of rebellion.

Whether it was before getting caught or after, David faces his sin, his guilt and the cancer lodged in his soul and vacates it to God. And in that, David finds forgiveness, freedom and a renewed spirit within. It’s not at all formulaic, but it is a process that yields both humility and a fresh start. Of course today, believers are supposed to assume that they are forgiven by Christ’s own permanent payment for sin – and we are. Have we come to believe the humiliation of confession is not necessary. That is not what the New Testament teaches is it? So we just skip the penitence, the humbling of ourselves, the constant admission that we are STILL sinners, saved by grace? Oh, that’s right, we want to heap upon ourselves a whole new layer of religion. The religion of perfection. You may want the perception of sinlessness and the right to judge the world because you are better than others. Not me brother, I know my own heart and it is quite ugly still. Psalm 32 is the perfect psalm for me. I will confess my rebellion to the Lord. And God will forgive me.

Prayer

Dad,
How dare I even for one moment think that Your righteous, Your mercy, Your forgiveness extends to me any privileges of pretense that I would be qualified to judge another, especially deciding who goes to heaven and who goes to hell. I am far too busy dealing with my own sin! I am thankful for confession, repentance and forgiveness as a regular process of keeping my heart and soul clean and clear before you.

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Suffering is a great teacher, I just don’t like her.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭15‬-‭16‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus faced down the same crummy situations that we do. The idea that Jesus had temptations is hard to process. The best glimpse is Satan tempting him in the desert. Jesus was tempted to make his own will happen over God’s will. Test the limits of who he is and what his mission would be. Get and gain everything a human would want by taking shortcuts and believing a con-angel. I forget about the deep pain and suffering that occurred in many of his interactions with religious people as well as those who were suffering physically or broken emotionally – oftentimes both.

Jesus was deemed a fake, a liar, a rebel and a power hungry conspirator from his own religious leaders. He IS God, but the guys who supposedly worked for God couldn’t recognize one characteristic of God in Jesus! It is extremely painful to be misunderstood, or worse, categorized as a contrarian. Then there is the pain of empathizing with those who had been marginalized and beat up by the religious culture of perfection all while they profited and maintained power. The strong got stronger at the expense of the weak getting weaker. This environment decimated faith and distorted people’s view of God – both religious and sinner.

It is painful to watch others suffer and then be told they deserve it. The author of Hebrews delivers the truth in the conversation of Jesus being the final High Priest – it wasn’t an easy calling. Hebrews writes, “Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered.” Vs 5‬:‭8‬. My idea of learning obedience was simply doing what God says to do. Haven’t we learned that being obedient, doing what’s right and following God PREVENTS suffering? It’s not just that God disciplines us when we are disobedient, but now there’s the problem of suffering when doing RIGHT.

In my thinking, I should NOT suffer when doing right! Making right decisions and following God in obedience should get me a pass on suffering, right? That’s the whole carrot/stick scenario. Do right, get the carrot. Do wrong get the stick. Which is more motivating? Carrot please. Jesus did right and got the stick! He continued to do right and got the cross. Where’s the motivation? Where’s the reward? Hebrews has the audacity to tell us that suffering for righteousness sake yields obedience. Suffering can help us learn to obey God no matter the circumstances. If, for one moment I may think, “well, that’s for Jesus, and I am not him.” We both know that’s dodging the truth.

Obey God. Trust God. Suffer if we must, but do not confuse resistance, grief, mockery, gossip or mistreatment as an indication that we are doing something wrong. If we are being obedient to God, then suffering will come along with it.

Prayer

Dad,
Of course I confuse suffering with doing wrong and sinning! I am full of sin and just figured that suffering is what I deserve. I never thought of suffering for righteousness or suffering as a means to learn obedience. I want to avoid suffering! It is just not a good feeling. Help me to see the lesson, the value of suffering as Your Word shows me to be humble and to learn. I can’t tell you I like it, but I do know how much I love you and want to do what is right. Pour out your mercy and peace so that I can handle suffering appropriately.

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The haunting darkness of depression.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“When Ahab got home, he told Jezebel everything Elijah had done, including the way he had killed all the prophets of Baal. So Jezebel sent this message to Elijah: “May the gods strike me and even kill me if by this time tomorrow I have not killed you just as you killed them.” Elijah was afraid and fled for his life. He went to Beersheba, a town in Judah, and he left his servant there. Then he went on alone into the wilderness, traveling all day. He sat down under a solitary broom tree and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors who have already died.”” ‭‭1 Kings‬ ‭19‬:‭1‬-‭4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The big showdown between God’s representative and Baal’s representatives had taken place, the odds 850 to 1. The living God verses dead stone and stick carvings. God consumed the entire contest altar with fire. It turns out Ahab wasn’t the power broker for behind the scenes, it was actually his wife, Jezebel. She had risen to power controlling the nation and all the false prophets who were committed to worshipping fake gods. Ahab arrives home telling her that all her puppet prophets were dead. Commentators say that Elijah killed 850 (400 prophets of Asherah and 450 prophets of Baal ) wiping out Jezebel’s entire elite religious guard. She sends out the “hit” order, the threat – Elijah will be dead in 24 hours. Even after this major showdown win with incredible odds against him, this one threat from the most wicked woman in history, rattles him and Elijah runs. He disappears into the wilderness and finds himself exhausted, depressed and suicidal. Elijah experiences the lowest of lows and the very dark, crushing moment where he believes it is all over, he’s done and his life will end like all others who oppose the wickedness of the queen. Have you been there, in darkness and depression?

The verses following this story capture a slow but sweet process of restoration, administered by angels. This is a very modern prescription for depression today – “get up and eat.” Elijah ate, drank and then slept some more. Then the angel of the Lord (a phrase attributed to Jesus Himself, showing up in the Old Testament) touched him and encouraged him to eat again. In depression’s dark shadows, one often loses a desire to eat, drink and physically move around. Elijah takes a very long trip, ending up in a cave, still running from the threat of Jezebel. We see the echos of king David running from Saul, fearing for his life. These two stories in these two chapters, one of victory, the other of crippling fear are all to common experiences to anyone who is obediently following God and working to accomplish His will and plans. The fight, the war against evil and against the agents of evil used by the satan, is very real, very dangerous and very exhausting. Many have won a battle only to lose in the aftermath of threats and fears that follow. Jezebel was not able to keep her threat. In fact Jezebel was pushed out of her own castle window by her own protective guards. She splattered on the courtyard below and left for wild dogs to eat her, just as it was foretold. 2 Kings 9:30-32. In a stunning reversal of the Jezebel threat, Elijah never did die! God took him, alive and riding a fiery chariot into the sky.

Prayer

Dad,
Before my own brief experience with deep depression, I used to read this story and was confused about how things could turn so quickly from victory to defeat with just a word from this wicked woman. After going through several days of the worst experience of my life and feeling the numbness and despair, no will, no desire to do anything, I now understand. Those moments still haunt me. I am so thankful for your supernatural mercy and grace to not only wrap your peace around my soul, but gently lead me out of the darkness and back into the light. May you ever be close to those who are suffering similar.

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Proverbs promotes purity

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“For the Lord sees clearly what a man does, examining every path he takes. An evil man is held captive by his own sins; they are ropes that catch and hold him. He will die for lack of self-control; he will be lost because of his great foolishness.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭5‬:‭21‬-‭23‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The entire chapter is a contrast/comparison to giving into immoral decisions or staying true to one person and remaining pure. The cast of characters is the young man, referred to as son. The immoral woman, seen as a thirst trap, luring and devouring innocence. And, the wife of one’s youth, depicted as a spring, a fountain filled with blessing and satisfaction.

The wisdom writers get gritty in detail when they ask, “Why spill the water of your springs in the streets, having sex with just anyone?” Directly referring to not just love but a man’s semen seed for procreation. This is clearly a chapter on purposeful restraint, shutting down the entire fallacy that sex should be abundantly and freely engaged with anyone you like.

Again, since Proverbs is mostly a young man’s wisdom curriculum, I’ll let you figure out how to reverse the roles and applications for young women seeking moral men instead of being seduced by fantasy and false promises of “players.”

Proverbs chapter five gives a summary that captures a strong word of advice for the wise and the fool. God sees all. God knows the motive of EVERY human heart. In the end, the hell or heaven that one finds is determination of decisions. Hell is the cage constructed by our own desires. The ropes of slavery and captivity are woven by our sins. And death awaits because we will lack the will to be made pure and whole. The warning to the young and old – be very careful about giving into the lust and cravings of our body, mind and soul.

The promiscuous lies that promise peace and fulfillment are not just dangerous, they are deadly. Words like chastity and purity are for temporal and eternal safety as well as real satisfaction.

Prayer

Dad,
How absolutely ludicrous that the cultural lies pitched today are all word-swapped, redefining truth. Phrases and words like sexual freedom, exploration, experimentation all masked by this lie. It’s a very clever trap leading to the opposite of everything we really need. It quickly becomes exploitation leaving perpetrators and victims with hollowed out souls, finding no peace. We are left with a vicious cycle of unquenchable desires that become our master of a slaved life. Oh, how we need your Spirit to pour over us. Breathe life in us once again for we have descended back into the dust of our dirty lives.

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Living the #blessed life.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“God blesses you when people mock you and persecute you and lie about you and say all sorts of evil things against you because you are my followers. Be happy about it! Be very glad! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, the ancient prophets were persecuted in the same way.” Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭11‬-‭12‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus’ most famous sermon, the one he not only lived but spoke about everywhere he went, describes a very different life for us to try to live out today. It is super antithetical to our culture in the U.S. He gives us a loss list, one that we are to not only look for but emulate and celebrate.

God blesses those who: are poor and realize their need for him, humble, hunger and thirst for justice, merciful, whose hearts are pure, who work for peace, who are persecuted for doing right.

These character and attitude traits yield favor from God and each come with their own unique benefit: the Kingdom of Heaven is theirs, comfort, inherit the earth, satisfied, be shown mercy, they will see God, they will be called the children of God.

In this world, in this culture, these attributes are almost completely shunned and let’s be honest, people would see this kind of lifestyle as reserved for losers – not winners! Yet Christ continuously warns us that the Kingdom of God is not anything like the kingdom of this earth. The kingdom of this earth is run by sin-fractured souls in cooperation with the prince of darkness, the Slanderer himself.

Jesus drops a sober reminder, the ancient prophets (spokespersons) were persecuted in the same way. It is very anti-social to live the loss list that Jesus recommends for the BLESSED life. I just don’t see that hashtag on TikTok or Reels reflecting Jesus #1 sermon.

Prayer

Dad,
Whew. I struggle with feeling successful or even righteous living your loss list. To be poor, humble, working for peace and persecuted for doing right? These are ideals I try to stay away from because of the deep heartache and turmoil they seem to bring. Living this loss list would force me to long for the Kingdom of heaven to arrive and accomplish your will far faster that I do now. I’d be overwhelmed trying to live out even one of these qualities, let alone all seven of them. Oh God, I need you to help me see what you see and live towards your ways and not my own. This changes how I view the “blessed” life for sure.

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The epitome of penitence.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. Oh, give me back my joy again; you have broken me— now let me rejoice. Don’t keep looking at my sins. Remove the stain of my guilt. Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me. Do not banish me from your presence, and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭51‬:‭7‬-‭11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Welcome to Ash Wednesday.

Yes, David sinned, egregiously. Yes, David got caught, Nathan had to confront the king. Yes he repented, and he was punished by God. And yes, he deserved to die for what he did, but God forgave him.

The story was written for all to see and wrestle with what David did. And yes, this Psalm captures the model, the template for repentance and owning up to our sin. It is difficult to hold the story of what happened in 2 Samuel 11 & 12 while holding the confession of written words in Psalm 51. One could read the heinous acts and think, “I could never do what David did,” but forced to face the stark reality that I am, you are, capable of it and worse!

Then we read the Psalm and feel the deep pain of realization, of recognition that comes with absolute truth – we too are really broken. David called it when he wrote, “For I was born a sinner— yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.” So much for innocence of a child.

Why is it so hard for us to admit it when we’re wrong, we’ve blown it, sinned, made a mistake, even hurt people? Oh, the arrogance of excuses! This is why Psalm 51 isn’t just an old passage from an ancient text written thousands of years ago. It’s timeless because I am still a sinner! It’s beautiful because there is a freedom and a joy in coming to God in filth and him cleaning us with forgiveness and renewing our spirit. This Psalm can be sung as a regular process of resetting our soul, power-cycling our mind, “Create in me a clean heart, O Lord my God. And renew a right spirit within me.” Who God sets free is free indeed!

Prayer

Dad,
It hurts my heart to read about what David did and how far he took it to destroy the lives of so many involved in that story. Then, as I read David’s psalm of penance, I also am saddened in solidarity – this is who I am as well. Today is Ash Wednesday, Lent. I reminded of who I am, what I am without you. So I spend this day walking humbly before you and being thankful for your forgiveness.

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They brought us to the party but they would not dance!

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“So this is the situation: Most of the people of Israel have not found the favor of God they are looking for so earnestly. A few have—the ones God has chosen—but the hearts of the rest were hardened. As the Scriptures say, “God has put them into a deep sleep. To this day he has shut their eyes so they do not see, and closed their ears so they do not hear.”” Romans‬ ‭11‬:‭7‬-‭8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

My heart goes out to the Jewish people, the called and chosen people of God! It is so heartbreaking to see so many struggling on the spiritual spectrum of Judaism. I know some who are closer to orthodox (strict, pure Judaic Law) and most who are just Jewish by heritage and only dabble in a few of the holidays and celebrations of their faith. However, neither believe that Jesus IS the messiah they so longed for.

And, all over the world, the Jewish people still hold out hope that their promised messiah will come to rule, reign and position them back to the glory days of David and his son Solomon. They still look for a military style leader who will bring peace and prosperity to their people. Even though this was not the deal they made with God, it’s what they want from him.

I asked our Jewish tour guides while in Israel. What do the people of Israel think about the messiah after all these years have gone by? He said, most have given up on the idea of an actual physical messiah and have decided it’s a theoretical messiah because Israel has accumulated much more power, wealth and certainly intelligence and wisdom. They had nothing, no land or central identity until 1948 and now they are not just “a” nation they are a powerful little nation.

Israel has made a modern paradise in what used to be a desert! They are leaders in technology, science, military weaponry, healthcare and especially agriculture. Israel is full of geniuses. So, in a way, they got what they wanted. But anyone who has traveled to Israel can see, their hearts and minds are still hard and blinded towards their own God. I can hear their lament even in their popular social status in the U.S. as media moguls and comedians.

Paul reminds the churches in Rome, God is not finished with his people! He writes, “Did God’s people stumble and fall beyond recovery? Of course not! They were disobedient, so God made salvation available to the Gentiles. But he wanted his own people to become jealous and claim it for themselves. Now if the Gentiles were enriched because the people of Israel turned down God’s offer of salvation, think how much greater a blessing the world will share when they finally accept it” vs 11-12. I am forever grateful for their history, their story and passion for the laws of God. They brought us Gentiles to the knowledge of God and Jesus our rescuer came through their legacy and culture. I just want them to see their messiah so we can all rejoice together as family.

Prayer

Dad,
I can’t wait for them to see you and embrace your ways and your plans that you had all along. I can’t wait for them to see and receive the Messiah, the sent one. As the end draws near I feel the dynamic tension and excitement for that to happen. I am so thankful for the rich heritage and for protecting Your word, the Old Testament from the beginning so that I can know you and the story of what I was adopted into the their faith, the root of Jesse, the salvation through the Jesus, the messiah.

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Holy Reintroductions.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“The Lord replied to Moses, “I will indeed do what you have asked, for I look favorably on you, and I know you by name.” Moses responded, “Then show me your glorious presence.” The Lord replied, “I will make all my goodness pass before you, and I will call out my name, Yahweh, before you. For I will show mercy to anyone I choose, and I will show compassion to anyone I choose.” ‭‭Exodus‬ ‭33‬:‭17‬-‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

This name of God is incredibly mysterious and intimate. Names have always been significant to me. It bothers me when parents choose their children’s names flippantly, as if their own children were the brunt of a joke or an attempt to make an outlandish statement to everyone that hears it. I feel sorry for today’s teachers having to learn complicated names and strange spellings of names because parents want to be uniquely cute. Hey moms and dads… it’s NOT about you so stop selfishly screwing up your child from day one!

Names have and hold honor or conversely horrible reputations. Moses (to draw out) repeatedly said, “God you know my name,” which alone is a powerful concept. Of course God knows his name! But when one knows that God knows your name and calls out your name is an experience beyond words.

God’s voice, was and is distinctly recognizable, Adam and Eve heard it in the garden (Gen 3:5). And Moses wrote that the couple heard the “voice of the LORD God.” Here, in Hebrew, Moses uses a doubling effect of God’s name, “אֱלֹהִ֑ים יְהוָֹה” elohim Yhvh – Jehovah God. Yhvh means I Am, I be (hayah). Earlier in Exodus 3, God had told Moses who was sending him to Pharoah to demand the release of His people. God said, “tell them “Yhvh” has sent me to you.” Here, many years later, in a much more personal, relational context, Moses pleads with God to STAY. God tells Moses, I will pass before you and speak my name – Yahweh. The Jewish people mistakenly treated God’s name so holy for fear that they would break law #3. They did not want to accidentally take God’s name in vain or be careless so decided they would never speak His name. They strictly forbid anyone from saying or even writing God’s name and forever used a shortcut to refer to Him – the vowels in God’s name were removed and we were left with Yhvh. Scholars best guess, putting the most likely vowels back in use, “Yahweh” or pronounced “Jehovah.”

The point of this dialog with Moses is that God WANTS to be known. God wants us to call out His name! One of most poignant moments in the New Testament is when the religious leaders started forcing Jesus to reveal who he was, only to trap him in what they considered to be blasphemy and they asked him in John 8:56-59, “Who do you think you are?” Jesus replied, “before Abraham was, I am,” our translations use the Greek equivalent to the Hebrew word “eimi: I exist, I am.” Jesus spoke the forbidden use of God’s name and insisted it is not blasphemy if he is in fact THE person of that highly secretive word! God knows our name. God wants us, like the couple in the garden, like Abram, like Moses, even like Lazarus, to hear and recognize his voice and talk with Him.

Prayer

Dad,
Abba, Father, God – I want to know you more. I know you know my name and I want to not only know your name, but everything about you. I want to bear and reflect your name in and through my own life, giving You glory and honor and praise in how I live, how I love. Thank you for your amazing grace to transform my life into something beautiful.

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This is THE way.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

“Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you. Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path. Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4‬:‭25‬-‭27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Sounds obvious, simple. Wandering eyes and distracted attention is bound to get you walking into a pole or traffic. Anyone noticed the new pedestrian entitlement? Especially in parking lots. Folks wander, zig-zag and just walk right in front of your car or just keep walking when you’re backing out of a space. There’s a creepy sense that modern cars with cameras and warning systems will auto-stop the car before hitting them. And now that jaywalking is no longer a crime, pedestrians rule the streets! I think some people WANT to get hit just for the insurance money. Sorry for the rant.

Wisdom makes a far more spiritual point using this idea of focusing our eyes so that our feet will follow. The eyes of our heart is our mind. And the things we think about absolutely dictate the direction of our attitudes and behaviors. The idea of fixing our thoughts to control or drive our behaviors is not a new concept in the Bible. Proverbs 23:7 in NKJV begins with, “For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.” The Apostle Paul picks up the idea in Philippians 4:8. “Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” This is wisdom’s way, walk in it.

Proverbs also reminds us that these practices of looking and focusing can keep our feet from following evil. We realize our feet have no sense of desire or cravings, right? Our feet are a symbol of our behaviors, they just obey our eyes and brain telling them where to go. I am still very much reminded of Jesus’ words that the “safe” path is also the narrow one, less popular, more difficult.

Prayer

Dad,
I sure hope my thoughts of you, your Word and your Will dictate my direction! It’s a mental struggle for sure. You call it sin, Paul calls it the flesh (sarx), but boy can it get me or lead me into trouble. It’s hard to fix my eyes on what’s right, good and holy when there are so many stinkin’ shiny objects dangling all around me. No wonder Job says he made a covenant with his eyes! Your Word is the light on my path and the wisdom to choose to walk in it. This is the way.

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Simply BELIEVE.

Reading Time: 3 minutes

“One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” And they left their nets at once and followed him. A little farther up the shore he saw two other brothers, James and John, sitting in a boat with their father, Zebedee, repairing their nets. And he called them to come, too. They immediately followed him, leaving the boat and their father behind.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭4‬:‭18‬-‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus was tempted, went home for a bit, then headed to Galilee, fulfilling another one of Isaiah’s (Isa 9:1-2) prophetic words about the messiah. Matthew was tracking his movements.

Then he immediately began his mission, preaching repentance and the coming Kingdom of God. But Jesus did not do this alone, he quickly enlisted a team around him. Four fishermen (Peter, Andrew, Big James and John) right there on the shores of Galilee. The rest of the twelve, Thomas, Nathaniel and Philip may have also worked as fishermen. Matthew was a tax collector, a Jewish sell-out working for Rome. Simon was a revolutionary, maybe a secret political terrorist of sorts. Judas may have been an accountant, but was know for thievery (John said he stole from their own ministry account Jn 12:6) and little James and Jude (no occupation mentioned).

The point is, Jesus specifically went after twelve. It is said that 70 followed, 12 were discipled but only 3 were mentored. Jesus spent a lot of time with the 12, but pulled the 3 aside to reveal/expose to them the heart and mission of what He was called to do. They were eye witnesses and STILL had doubts, fears and struggles. They lived with, ate with, travelled with Jesus and still had difficulty reconciling their faith with what they were experiencing! The twelve were first experiencers and responders and doubters all at the same time.

Jesus said something profound to Thomas AFTER his resurrection, after coming back from the dead. Thomas watched Jesus live, watched him die and physically stood in front of him after his resurrection and was forever tagged with the nickname, “the doubter!” Are you kidding, every single one of those who gathered after the resurrection were doubters until they saw Jesus with their own eyes! Jesus told Thomas the shocking truth. Jesus told him, “You believe because you have seen me. Blessed are those who believe without seeing me.” John‬ ‭20‬:‭29‬. That’s us folks! We are the believers WITHOUT seeing what Jesus closest friends and family experienced. Why? Because in very much God’s way, he has come to each one of us as individuals and called us out – out of darkness into light. Out of slavery into freedom. Out of professions and a past into a purpose and a task. We have seen because Jesus has shown himself to us and we believe and declare just like Thomas and the others, “my Lord and my God!” It is by faith we believe and we are happy (blessed) because of it. Come in closer than the seventy. Come in closer still, more than than the twelve. Come into to be mentored by Jesus and let him reveal and expose his mission to you and through you!

Prayer

Dad,
I believe. I am blessed because I have not physically stood before Jesus and thrust my hands in his hands and side. I am blessed because you made yourself real to me and that experience changed me forever. That moment is undeniable. I don’t care what happens in all the nonsense of religiosity and polity of Church. I don’t care about the controversies surrounding the famous platform pastors and the heresy wars among the christian elite. I don’t care about the cultural lies and subterfuge suppression of truth. I know what I know because you showed yourself to me, bid me to come, called me to your mission and I BELIEVE!