“Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9 NLT
We’ve lost trust and forgotten how to forgive.
Friendships are fragile in the beginning. They take time to build. And they take effort to get past the surface, shallow conversations. Great friendships spend very little time talking about the weather or the scoreboard stats of their favorite team, they are able to dive in deep and discuss things that matter. In great friendships there is a comfort of confession, shared secrets and honesty of our own failures. After some time, there is this thing called trust.
Trust means, they know enough to destroy you if they wanted to – ah but they don’t. And not just because you have an equal amount of dirt on them! Friendships that go through the conflicts, headaches and tunnels of chaos are the ones that endure to see the beauty of walking through life with people who would do anything for you and you for them.
The wisdom writers nail this truth about friendship. It REQUIRES forgiveness. There is absolutely no way that one or more of your friends won’t let you down, disappoint or even betray you! It is naive to think otherwise.
I love this truth LOVE PROSPERS when you forgive. Yeah, maybe it takes a little time to hop back into the trust saddle, but eventually that’s the goal – rebuild trust and make that bridge even stronger. Folks have been burning so many friendship bridges that they find themselves abandoned and isolated on their own bitter island! Look around. If all you see is burned out bridges with your new hermit lifestyle, you’re not living in heaven on earth, you’re living in hell. I’ve heard so many stories of how easy it is to declare the mafia mantra, “you are dead to me,” to deep, longtime friendships and even more so with family.
Proverbs and wisdom declares those decisions as FOOLISH. To continue to do so means you are just playing the fool. Man up, woman up – forgive! Even as Christ has forgiven you.
One other thing, obsessing over the fault, the betrayal, the misunderstood gestures is a sure way to not just separate you from a formerly good friend. It’s the fastest and most effective way to open your life, heart and soul to the deceiver who will come and fill that festering wound with poisoned pus. Your choice, your move.
Prayer
Dad,
I am so glad I don’t carry grudges or faults too long. I have so many amazing friendships that truly have saved and surrounded my life with your grace. Maybe it is just my personality fluke that helps me not harbour, dwell or obsess over wrongs done to me. Sometimes I like to think, “this person doesn’t even know me well enough TO hurt me.” Why should I carry that offense? I don’t even know them well enough to dislike them back 😇. I want to live my life giving second to seventh chances. Not only being quick to forgive, but redirecting those painful triggers to invest in people even more. Sure, it’s risky. But I know what a risk and wreck I was when you offered me that rescue rope of hope.