And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the Lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you. For the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child. Hebrews 12:5-6 NLT
Gentle parenting is a current style used by many to positively, affirmingly, understand their child’s behavior and allows them to self-correct. “A parenting style that focuses on empathy, respect, and connection to help children develop strong social skills and emotional intelligence.” And, “Gentle parenting focuses on parenting children without shame, blame, and punishment. This style of parenting centers around collaboration between parents and children.”
The author of Hebrews leans on an ancient Proverb and gives us a practical interpretation, Proverbs 3:11-12. Proverbs ends with this, ”For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.” Proverbs uses the Hebrew word for discipline, “yakach,” to decide, adjudge, even to argue! Hebrews uses the Greek word, “paideia,” the rearing of a child, training, discipline, correcting and proving. The Greek has the idea of chastening or purifying. This shows up in verse 13, where the Greek word, “mastigoó,” to scourge, appears. There is just no way around this very strong use of physical pain to be used in training. Does God send “severe pain” in the best eternal interests of the believer?
Anyone who studies the idea of the discipline, even in the context of learning skills, especially in sports, knows that pain is critical in the development of our own muscles! Pain may not be literally delivered in physical whippings or beatings, but life itself frequently delivers warnings in the learning process. When we fall, touch fire or electricity we experience pain! It’s a really good reminder, even an educator, to not repeat the behavior. The focus of the verses, here or in Proverbs, is not really the pain of discipline, it’s the idea that correction, chastening and proving is an act of love! For a parent of a young child to withhold warning, correction, even proper, age appropriate physical pain, to train a child about authority and boundaries would not be love. Proverbs speaks of the reason it is so critical, “foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child! “ It is also bound up in the human heart. The Hebrew word for foolishness, “ivveleth,” is from the word, “evil.” Look, if we came out of our mother’s womb with a moral sense of goodness, purity and wisdom, then parenting would hardly be necessary. Ah, but we are not born with an internal sense of good, are we? We use the word for babies referring them as innocent, but that’s just because they are needy and defenseless. It doesn’t take long for any parent to realize they have a self determined will and most, not all, are excited to challenge you.
However, whether you believe in gentle parenting or hard boundaries with gentle, physical consequences for clear challenges from a child, the point is God does discipline us. And, God does so with physical corrections because he loves us. What does it look like? It’s different for every person. I believe that God uses circumstances and even people to deliver His discipline. What have you learned? Have you recognized correction from God? If you wonder what will happen when we purposely continue to choose sin, challenging God with his own loving boundaries, God will step in to keep us on His path.
Prayer
Dad,
Not only do I believe your Word when you clearly discipline those you love. I have experienced your correction, and have learned to recognize it and respond with confession and repentance. I know it’s for my own good. I know it’s because you are watching, and are actively keeping me accountable because of your faithfulness, patience and love. Thank you for your boundaries, and your discipline! Amen.