(eusplagchnos – Inwardly passionette, sacrificially, give freely, charmingly, favor)

Eph 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Col 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

The giving of a gift.

Granting grace.

Raise your hand if you’re one of those people that just has a hard time letting go of a wrong or a hurt done to you. I would be in this category, but I just don’t have the memory space in my brain to store wrongs alongside the things necessary to live life!

Forgiveness, it seems, has been given a bad reputation. Here are some common misperceptions:

We still think it’s…

• letting someone off the hook.
• allowing them to get away with it.
• forgiveness means forgetting.

We actually think we are in control of another person’s happiness, future or behavior.

We think, by sheer will, that holding onto the memory will punish the perpetrator a bit longer.
How exhausting that must be. It turns out that un-forgiveness is a bitter poison that goes down easy and then like a cancer cell destroys from the inside out. I’ve seen the hollowed souls that have become a shell of what they used to be – because of not practicing this powerful word.

In the letter to Ephesus Paul says to forgive if you have any blame or fault with someone.

BLAME

– now that’s a word that needs a whole different discussion. Blame is easy to grab when you’re hurt or something goes wrong.

The bad news; having it, holding it or wielding it never helps YOU. It’s just a lousy weapon to pickup.

Well I like to end on the truth about the word forgiveness. It comes from the word “grace” or gift. So bottom line… forgiveness the act of giving a gift.

I’m sure that’s the last thing you want to think about when you have been gossiped about at church and sister vomit has turned all your friends against you. Or walk into church one day and find out that everyone knows you have an IRS lean because your Christian accountant felt it necessary to “inform” the Pastor of your financial problems.

Yeah, that’s the kind of environment where this word has to work and has to be real.

I can’t begin to tell you how many issues are masked under the guise of DOCTRINE, THEOLOGY or POLICY just because there have been hurt, wounds and NO FORGIVENESS. And apparently the higher up on the church-food-chain you are the less expected or less likely that forgiveness is given or asked for! If there were more forgiveness between each other there would be a better chance at unity and a better reflection of Jesus to the world and to new believers.

Prayer:
Father, even though I know your word says to forgive I still have a difficult time practicing this one. Please help me give gifts of grace to my brother just as you have given to me.

next week… speak to one another

(chrestos -good,upright,honest)

Ephesians 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

To be compassionate means to provide what is needed. The word compassionate comes from the word for spleen. You feel it deeply in your gut. The spleen filters blood and keeps the body from being poisoned.

And right at that moment they needed a pen! My wife and I were traveling internationally. As we approached the customs check point at the airport we discovered that several of us had not completed the final section on the travel forms. The tension was high as the woman who was checking off the forms was holding up the line. We had suitcases and carry-on bags so our hands were full.

She expected us to fill out a form WITH A PEN???

The couple next to us had a toddler in a stroller and they were panicked. I could hear the tension rising in their voices. Blame and frustration was about to explode into an angry outburst. At that moment I realized that in my small backpack I “happened” to have two pens. You need to know – I NEVER carry a pen because I’m a digital guy. For me to have two pens is nothing short of a miracle. I quickly grabbed the extra pen and gave it to the husband, who was in the greatest need of this miracle, since he was the more anxious of the two. BOOM – That is kindness.

Kindness is providing something when it’s needed most. You see, kindness is about being perceptive to those around you and taking advantage of the timing. It’s like FLASH LOVE! Maybe Paul connected the word compassion with the word kind because compassion is feeling a need in your gut. The word comes from “Spleen” – wild huh?

So be a good spleen and make those moments count by being kind to a brother. Act quickly, you may miss the fun!

Father, it would be so fun to do something unexpected and totally acting like you. Could you arrange for me to see a need and then help me be bold and follow through with an act of kindness toward my brother or sister. Amen

(anechomai – endure, take up, puts up with)

Eph 4:2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

Remember the time you got your feelings hurt by someone at church?

Or maybe there was just an annoying sister that got on your last good nerve and rode it all the way down.

Anyway, you might have said to yourself, “I don’t have to put up with the way I am being treated at this church.”

Well… it turns out… you do.

I know.  I can’t believe this is even in the Bible! King Jimmy’s version makes it easier to ignore because it’s stated so elegantly – “forbearing one another”.

That phraseology creates a beautiful picture in our mind.  We see ourselves holding up a weak brother’s faith so he can continue to fight on.  It’s a noble thought and not a bad picture.

The trouble is that it’s not the complete picture that Paul intended.

Modern English: PUT UP WITH one another.

It’s the sticky, enduring, suffering kind of “putting up with” that he is talking about.  It is MESSY. It’s all about follow through.  Will we commit to sticking with this person until the work is complete? Paul neatly couples that lovely “patient” word in front of it for emphasis.

I have to ask myself, “Am I a support or a column?” when it comes to “Putting Up With” a brother or sister.  As a support I can function as a temporary solution until more permanent girding can be found. I question whether I can be a column, a permanent part of the structure in someone else’s life.

This issue of real support is where the body of Christ functions in true community.  We come together to communicate and bring a system of care. Some churches are really strong in offering this kind of help. Maybe yours is one of them. I’ve seen three different kinds of crisis to deal with in the church:

1. Critical Crisis – there should be immediate consolation & comfort.
2. Chronic Crisis – there should be counseling.
3. Constant Crisis – well, honestly, there should be confrontation.

Prayer: Jesus, maybe my patience and ability to put up with a sister isn’t where it should be. Would you help me (and I know that means real work involved) to up my game when it comes to supporting and loving fellow believers? Amen

(douleuo- Slavery,complete dependance,compulsory service to)

Gal 5:13 You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.

Free to serve – what a concept! It sounds like a modern day commercial spinning bad news into a positive “be a better you” pitch. The Apostle Paul is genius! The freedom spice has been part of the human cookie dough since the beginning of our existence. And it is not easy to control! Though God created us with free will, we don’t always let Him have His way with our lives.

Freedom isn’t a new concept but neither is slavery. Our thinking says freedom equals autonomy and slavery equals a burdensome weight like being chained to an anchor.

Who would limit their options and shackle down their God-given rights to the most precious natural resource on the planet – CHOICE? Why would anyone purposely surrender themselves and their free will to serving others? Does it make sense to let go of our personal preferences when serving requires us to go against our human nature? Why is love so compelled to be restricted in this way?

Because…

wait for it…

the Kingdom of God is crazy backward from our stinking sin-stained thinking!

God’s freedom is love-bonded and restrained to righteousness. In The Kingdom of God we are called on to love one another with love and service that goes beyond human reasoning. We are in the process of becoming like Jesus. We define righteousness by looking at Him and doing what He did. He did not come to be served but to serve and give His life as a ransom for many. In this way we lead others into His righteousness. This is the greatest service of all.
Paul says…Yeah, you’re free. Free to do as you please. But remember, there’s a Person and a purpose behind all those expansive options, His name is Jesus.

So, rather than splurge all that new-found fun on door number one “You and your lusties”, I challenge you to blow it all on door number two – “Serve one another”.

USE freedom.
WORK those opportunities.
GO NUTS spending … on one another.

It reminds me of the previous look at Honor one another that Paul promoted in Romans 12:10. If there’s one area believers should compete in – it’s love: outdo each other in love.

I challenge you to put all that wonderful, powerful self will on the starting block of tomorrow morning’s race. When the starter pistol fires, release your freedom to serve into a focused effort to help a struggling brother or sister reach the finish line.

Prayer: Father, I’ve never thought about using my choices and opportunities to serve someone else. I thought I was supposed to look after myself. Would you help me figure out how to serve someone out of my abundant options?

(lego -speak the same thing) (I Cor 1:10)

1 Cor 1:10 I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought.

If you read Paul’s instruction regarding the church, then look at the condition of today’s Church, you might assume two things.  Either that his instruction is impossible,  or that we have failed miserably in following biblical instruction.

There are approximately 41,000 Christian denominations in the world in the world today.  The majority of that growth took place after the year 1900.  Prior to that there were only 1600.  Taken from, Eric Hatfield’s Blog,

No matter how you look at it, this number reveals a deep problem.

41,000 different denominations does not sound

at all

like

AGREE WITH ONE ANOTHER.

EPIC FAILURE!

Okay, now that I’ve vented a little bit…

Paul’s uses of the word “agree” are not meant to portray Christians as mindless programmed parrot puppets reciting doctrinal truth. When Christians speak of Jesus they should sound like they are talking about the same person.  When friends spend time together they think similar thoughts and have similar passions.  It’s the same way with Jesus, when Christians hang out with HIM, they take on His character and His passions.  They know His mind and think His thoughts.  They are like married couples who can finish each other’s sentences after years of living together.

The result of our deep connection with Jesus should be that when we hang out with each other we should be speaking the same language. It should sound and seem familiar because we have the same BFF (Jesus).

Paul reasoning is that our agreeing with each other is for the sake of UNITY!  We are not to be self promoting but unified in promoting HIM.   If we were truly focused on Him we would not be splintering into countless factions, like an out of control cancerous growth!

So, I tell myself to think twice before blabbing my independent and perhaps unfounded thoughts about God.  I need to focus on Jesus, His word, His church and His people.

Prayer: Jesus, I cannot unify 41,000 different denominational issues, but I can unify my heart, mind and unruly mouth to agree with my brother. Help me sound like you today.

(greet, kiss, shake hands, give greeting)

Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; ​2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14;  Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14

The concept of “Embrace” is fun, but not for everyone.  For some, the idea of “Embracing” can be complicated.

Not everyone likes to be hugged, and not all of us are “touchy feely”. I get that. In fact growing up, my family did not hug at all.  When I was dating my wife and she would give me a hug and I would just stiffen up with my arms straight at my side.  I didn’t know what to do. When she would grab my hand I would reflexively flinch and pull away before I realized what I was doing.

Touch is such a powerful way to communicate love and tenderness.  Paul, uses this very physically expressive word for greeting, and it is not surprising at all. He’s instructing us to “enfold one another in the arms” – HUG!

There is now physical evidence that a 10-20 second hug actually increases some of the brain’s neurotransmitters. That alone has huge effects on blood pressure, cellular health and general well-being. It turns out that hugs are healthy for you!

I’d like to say to all those who just can’t stand hugging to “Get over it!”.  However, I truly understand it’s not that easy.

Oh, by the way, I am a hugger now. With guys I just give them a bear hug.  With the gals I give a safe side hug, but not before asking permission!  If I sense they may be uncomfortable, I just revert to a handshake because I want to respect their boundaries.

A handshake is nice, if done well. But, it just doesn’t communicate love like a hug can. Who wants to just shake Grandma’s hand?

Truthfully, you should consider yourself fortunate on this one! Most translations say to greet with a HOLY KISS! I have not seen much of that in our culture. Although I’ve been to Chile and Italy – it’s just normal there.

Prayer: God sometimes I know a welcoming hug is just what folks need. Help me be safe and brave enough to bring a friendly touch when I see someone who is like family to me.

– proslambano (Rom 15:7)
Rom 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Let me be honest. I immediately know when someone likes me and accepts me. Call it a feeling, a vibe or impression. I can tell if someone is just putting up with me, or just pretending to be polite.

There could be other things contributing to their attitude such as being distracted, something else is on their mind, or they are just not in the mood to talk. Nonetheless, I can tell right away whether I’m accepted or not. It’s alright.

I just want to let you know that your body language is much more evident than you think. And there’s something about a phony smile too. Oh, and the drifting eyes that just can’t see to focus on what someone is saying for like two seconds. Like the politician-handshake that has moved on to the next constituent before you’ve had a chance to be supportive.

All of this, and more, is telling people that you could care less and you do not accept them. Yeah, its a feeling. Yeah, you say, “it’s not true.” But, what if it’s more than a feeling. There are desperate folks who just need to have a moment of human contact and they will ignore the fact that you are trying to get rid of them. Even they need acceptance.

So, how is it done? How do you know you are “accepted” by someone in the family of God? Is it time? Attention?

Is it just as simple as using your name? I love the quote, “how do you spell love?- you spell it T. I. M. E.”

How do we get to the place in our relationships where we truly accept each other? What does that look like? The literal meaning is to “take to oneself” or receive. That seems pretty open, even non-judgmental. I think it would be hard to accept or receive someone and reject them at the same time.

Sometimes the simplest words to understand (by definition) are the hardest words to put into practice. This is one of those words.

And this acceptance brings praise to God? Wow! That’s wild!

Prayer: Lord, you know it’s hard for us to let certain folks into our lives. Give me opportunities to try this idea out so I can be better at accepting my brother or sister.

If you have a story of how you have shown that you accepted someone, PLEASE share it in the comments area. We all need help in this area.

(phroneo – same opinion/mind)

(Rom 12:16;I Pet 3:8)

Rom 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

1 Pet 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

Oh, you’re going to love this one!  Listening to music we don’t like can bring out the worst in us. We all have our personal preferences. Not everyone likes rock, classical, jazz or even county music. However, when harmony is added to a sound, no matter what genre it is, most of us will be able to tolerate it, and maybe even enjoy listening to it. Harmony adds depth and appeal to an otherwise dissonant sound. And dissonance can actually make people ill!

Listen to this — (dissonance) Do you really think those sounds should hit the road and go on tour together?

Now listen to this — (consonance) Big difference, right?

Our lives can either be in constant dissonance with each other or we can figure out how to act on these instructions to blend and fit together out of obedience to Christ. Say it with me, “blend and fit, blend and fit.”

The word is phroneo.  It means, “same opinion and same mind.” It does not mean “be identical, alike or copies”.  From this we learn we are to work together.  Active word here – WORK. It takes work for this word to be a part of the Christian experience. We need to fit or synchronize with each other.

I love the fact that Paul and Peter used the same phrase – “live in…” .  It’s not supposed to be a onetime occurrence. It’s a process of figuring each other out and working to fine tune our pitch for the best sound. That way everyone in the room will be able to sense the pleasantness of unity.

This behavior benefits ministry as we work together.  A friend and I would visit people in their homes in our community just to pray with them and encourage them. As we talked I would watch my friend’s facial expression change as he talked about their pain or delighted in affirming them. I would be so encouraged to hear tender wisdom coming from my friend. I would add a few comments and we would both finish up our time by praying for the person. I felt like we were in harmony, though we had not planned ahead about what we would say nor we saying identical words.

I also believe this behavior works well in conflict too! It is powerful to start out a heated argument with this thought, “Jesus loves this person and I love this person.” Can you disagree and still be in harmony? Of course you can, it’s called Jazz!

Prayer: Jesus, I would love to be a person that brings harmony and not dissonance. Help me bring a fitting word to a brother or sister that is experiencing chaos.  Give me wisdom to bring a peaceful perspective to a messy problem.

If you have a story of harmonizing with someone and it turned out somewhat pleasant , share it in the comments area and encourage someone to work on this area of their life.