Month: December 2022

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Quick to “clip in” and anchor my hope.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“As the deer longs for streams of water, so I long for you, O God. I thirst for God, the living God. When can I go and stand before him?” ‭‭Psalms‬ ‭42‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Some have been able to witness this beautifully simple moment as a deer timidly approaches a stream for a drink of water. I’ve only been able to see it on some nature show with a videographer capturing the moment while the narrator, maybe Morgan Freeman or Dylan Dreyer does the voiceover. The deer makes it’s way to water knowing that it’s a tenuousness moment. The deer has to, wants to drink but it’s enemy also knows it’s the best time to catch its prey while the deer is distracted. It’s likely that David watched this kind of scene many times in his life – he was practically born and raised as a nature boy, living life in the hill country of Judah.

David repeats a thought about his life and where he stands with God watching, controlling everything that happens around him. He speaks to his own soul and asks, “Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad?” These are amazing questions to ask ourselves when things get dark and difficult. Yeah! Why, exactly, am I down? What is it? Can I name it? The answer will likely come to us if we take some time to stop and have a conversation with our soul and with God!

David doesn’t write the answer in the text, but we know from history there was a lot going on in his life. A quick search on www.blueletterbible.org will show that David was running and hiding again, this time from his own son Absalom (his third son). If your a parent, it’s not too hard to imagine one of your adult kids coming after you to kill you and take their inheritance – especially if that inheritance is the kingdom of Israel. So one answer his soul might kick back to him is, “yeah your sad… because your kid is trying to kill you!” Legit, right?

David follows up his question with more than just an answer from his soul, he writes, “I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember you— even from distant Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar.” Whoa. David flips his thoughts to a far more reliable and powerful outcome in his situation – his HOPE in God. Hope is not a wish or a squishy, wispy fantasy. Hope is a carabiner, a stick-clip, attached to a climbing anchor that saves your life should you fail and fall. And that anchor is imbedded in the rock, THE ROCK, in our case. David’s psalm teaches us that when we feel we are starting to free fall in our feelings of despair, hope clipped into the anchor then catches us. No matter what my soul answers back when I ask (and asking is the best way to get some kind of clarity) “why am I so sad?” I must be quick to clip my hope into the anchor and let God catch me.

Prayer

Dad,
David’s response, at least how it was written, was almost immediate. Maybe there was a pause, a moment or two as he reflected on the questions he asked his soul. I’m trying to be faster at realizing that my feelings, along with my crazy thoughts are running away, dragging me to horrible outcomes. I just want to catch my soul at the earliest possible moment and force it to answer – “why are you discouraged?” If I can catch my soul before it spins and my mind runs, maybe I have a moment to listen to the answer and then securely “clip in” my hope to the Rock of my salvation! Sounds like a plan – I just need to get better at it.

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The Scoffer’s Antidote.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“But you, my dear friends, must remember what the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ predicted. They told you that in the last times there would be scoffers whose purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires. These people are the ones who are creating divisions among you. They follow their natural instincts because they do not have God’s Spirit in them.” ‭‭Jude‬ ‭1‬:‭17‬-‭19‬ ‭NLT‬‬

It was predictable. It was inevitable. Scoffers will be mockers. It’s become a ubiquitous, socially praised art-form. Their numbers are low, but their voices are so loud and obnoxiously consistent. Scoffing, mocking and trash-talking truth is somewhat of a new source of side-gigging income. It’s the scourge of social media. Jude writes out their motivation and job description; their purpose in life is to satisfy their ungodly desires! They are just following their natural instincts.

Then Jude quickly shifts to the answer, the antidote that must be constantly and consistently administered. Here’s the list of ingredients that must be combined to make the cure.

  1. Build each other up in your most holy faith. Turn to, lean on one another to counteract the cultural poisons. Reminding each other of our faith, our self-differentiated belief in what God has said.
  2. Pray in the power of the Holy Spirit. Now is not the time to be weary or succumb to being a faulter, knowing that a noisy mob doesn’t mean their right or even aware of what they do.
  3. Await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love. Have patience under pressure. God is faithful to be present even under the most dire circumstances.
  4. Show mercy to those whose faith is wavering. This word, wavering, “diakrínō” is “judging back and forth,” or negatively “over-judging.” Don’t return to judging or predicting the outcome of someone else’s weakness, failure,or sin. Throw them mercy, toss them regular life-lines of grace.
  5. Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Love them enough to be honest and supportive. Don’t let them go dark or silent, ghosting you without a fight for their soul.
  6. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives. Love the sinner, hate the sin. Just as you know how much God loves you and hates your own sin. Don’t give mercy from a high moral position, rather humbly boost others from below. Let our mercy lift and not pity!

These six ingredients are the contents of the antidote to scoffing and mocking that is now a constant thread and threat of every conversation. We need to be united in our attitudes and behaviors against towards those who would cause “division” or apodiorizó, “marking off boundaries” to separate us from each other and from God.

Jude knew we needed one another. And, through the Holy Spirit, he knew that this would only intensify as we get nearer to the end. Don’t let anyone lay down fake or false issues or boundaries that would separate us. Let’s stick together in our holy, humble faith!

Prayer

Dad,
We need you so desperately as times darken and shadows seem to be everywhere. And, we need each other more than ever before. Help us help each other to follow Jude’s prescribed antidote against disunity and tearing each other apart because of scoffer and mockers. Let God arise and His enemies be scattered!

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Future fairness and justice.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Soon—and it will not be very long— the forests of Lebanon will become a fertile field, and the fertile field will yield bountiful crops.” ‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭29‬:‭17‬-24 ‭NLT‬‬

Things are not just, not fair, and absolutely not equitable here on earth. It’s not possible in a broken system, a humanly flawed system. It’s flawed because there are so many who just want what they want, when they want it. And everyone else is just a nuisance in the way.

Isaiah sees that just on the other side of this whole human experience, which has tremendous highs and devastating lows, awaits justice, wholeness and a global, godly equality that we all yearn for. The earth itself waits and aches for all things to just be made right again. Isn’t that something we ALL share? The angst and anticipation for everything to make sense? Isaiah gives a shortlist of examples of those who want but are not satisfied, but that completion is coming – “SOON,” he writes. In that day…

Goodness and justice will rise:
▪️ the deaf will hear words, read from a book, and the blind will see through the gloom and darkness.
▪️ The humble will be filled with fresh joy from the Lord.
▪️ The poor will rejoice in the Holy One of Israel.

Evilness and selfishness will subside:
▪️ The scoffer will be gone, the arrogant will disappear, and those who plot evil will be killed.
▪️ Those who convict the innocent by their false testimony will disappear.
▪️ A similar fate awaits those who use trickery to pervert justice and who tell lies to destroy the innocent.

We can all agree on these terms and future hopes! Ah, but for those who have no sense of, nor belief in eternity, they only have annihilation as the end of everything. I get it. They should try to cram it all into what is a very brief existence called life. Go for it. Reform the animalistic, degenerate, darwinian, literal hell out of humans. All you have to do is convince every single person, from every corner of the planet, every culture and conversation to snap to it and transform themselves for the better good!

It’s so easy, and humans without any shred of belief in God have been frustratingly trying to pull it off for eons. The non-believer does have a hope outside of the Creator though. It will be a short-lived hope. There will come an anti-god, a demigod, the Bible calls the anti-Christ who will come with platitudes and promises to bring world peace. He’ll be so convincing that billions with believe. Ah, but in the end, he’s just the master trickster representative, the guy behind the scenes with the the red suit and the pitch fork just enjoying his temporary rise to power.

Isaiah called it thousand of years ago. This will all come to pass and I just plan to be on God’s side of it and not shake my little self-determined fist at Him.

Prayer

Dad,
So be it. Come quickly Lord Jesus. Come and make things right and just forever and for all. Amen.

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Waggling tongues and wanton hearts.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Fire goes out without wood, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops. A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood. Rumors are dainty morsels that sink deep into one’s heart.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭26‬:‭20‬-‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

The wisdom writers have a hot sheet of character flaws in the human heart. And, in these hotbeds of emotions and relational problems, there are warnings and dire consequences. However, we believe we are immune to the poisonous effects because of one of the best excuses is, “well that’s not me!”

Here, we have a classic discussion about the words we spread about like the latest tasty receipt on Instagram. The writer compares gossipy girl/guy to a fire, a fight and a fantasy.

Fire needs three elements to exist – heat, fuel and oxygen. Conflict or revenge can be the heat, gossip is the fuel, and speaking words are the oxygen (we blow air when we talk). In a quarrel everyone knows it takes two to tango. And, a homemade treat is even better when shared, so gossip is given and gobbled down before someone questions the ingredients.

At our core, we are ALL a little soul-pyros, like fire-starters. I’ll be the first to admit that I live and love the world of good and not-so-good tidbits of information. Someone’s pregnant? I just can’t wait to tell everyone. Someone’s gone back into rehab – oh, so sad, I’ll just share that with someone in the guise of prayer. I don’t like to think that I CAUSED fires, fights and fantastic rumors, but I’m sure I’ve done it.

Proverbs calls out my proclivities and holds me accountable to repent and stops me from being a human pyro! I have no excuse. And, I can’t hide under the phrases like, “well it’s the truth,” or “I’m just trying to help,” or worse, “don’t they need prayer?” So it’s out, we’re all susceptible to these destructive sins. I just don’t want to be the chief fire-pyro.

Prayer

Dad,
Right between the eyes! Your Word is a dead shot. I would think I could avoid all these discoveries of my shadowed soul by just avoiding your word, your ways. I could just be happily oblivious to my sin and the damage it causes in all the lives and lives around me. You word, your light shining in the darkness reveals my weaknesses, my propensities, ugh… my selfishness. This is why I am thankful for your word and how your grace comes rushing in after seeing my sins reflected back and my confession coming out, purging my heart. Now, I just need your help to stop gossiping, drop on my knees and roll around in the truth to stop hurting myself and others.

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Shut your trap!

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“Watching for their opportunity, the leaders sent spies pretending to be honest men. They tried to get Jesus to say something that could be reported to the Roman governor so he would arrest Jesus. “Teacher,” they said, “we know that you speak and teach what is right and are not influenced by what others think. You teach the way of God truthfully. Now tell us—is it right for us to pay taxes to Caesar or not?” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭20‬:‭20‬-‭22‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Wow, things just don’t change all that much in the “set the trap,” let’s catch ‘em in a juicy sound-bite moment. Tisk, tisk, tisk, good luck catching God tripping up on some cheap word-trap and moral dilemma.

Luke gives us such a rich background to this moment. With words like “opportunity,” “spies,” and “reporting,” who wouldn’t be drawn into to this scene?

The guys, supposedly working FOR God, are trying to trap God to get him to quit interfering with their job of protecting God from rift-raft, fakes and false prophets. They never considered, even for a moment, that the REAL messiah, would show up and they would find themselves on the wrong side of truth. Can people get so turned around that they find themselves on the wrong side of truth?

Luke writes “they sent spies,” pretending (hupokrinomai), like actors on a stage, to be earnest in their query. Then they actually try to butter up God by telling him what a great guy he is!

Oh, you’re so honest Jesus.
Oh, people love following you Jesus.
You’re such a great leader Jesus.
What a bunch of DUNG!

It’s all fake flattery, dripping with barbs to trap Jesus into saying something useful, self incriminating and heard by so many. It was an excellent trap that everyone of us has fallen prey to.

The ol’ speak ill of the government trap.

Who hasn’t stepped in this one? The wacky laws, the ridiculous misuse of power and oh, don’t get me started on how they are spending MY tax money! I would have fallen for it and failed.

All Jesus needed to say is, “I can’t stand that Caesar and his wicked, mindless, money-grubbing cronies around him.” “Taxes? I wouldn’t give him one shiny new denarius, he’s a hack!”

His comments would have been captured, then reported and bada-bing, no more Jesus. Oh, but God will not be trapped by human traps and schemes. God is still not trapped by human schemes. In fact, God uses our ill-intents and petty manipulations to bring about His will and purpose bringing the reality of the Kingdom of God here on earth!

Jesus doesn’t fall for it. He asks for a coin, looks at it and flips it back to its owner. Cool as a cucumber he asks the owner of the coin, with the crowd waiting to hear the SNAP of the SNARE, “who’s image (eikón), who’s imprint (epigraphó) is on that coin?” The trickster responded, “well, of course it’s Caesar.” Jesus said, “then obviously give him back his coin!” The crowd was stunned, the religious leaders… silenced. This story is famous for this question, “who’s image and imprint does the coin bear?” It’s famous, because we, humans, are the image bearers of God. ALL of us. No one can flip our souls from one side to the other and not clearly see that we are unique and hardly “self-created!” We bear the image and imprint of God stamped on us. No other creature, flora nor fauna carries that same image, because God breathed Himself into our souls. So Jesus words are stingingly accurate even today, “Give to God what is His!”

Prayer

Dad,
I now know that I was bought with a price and I am yours. I know and love the fact that I am more than just a friend of God, like “I know Him!” But, I am your son. I’ve been twice adopted. I am in the family of God and my life bears your image and imprint. I return what “belongs” to you everyday. I am so thankful to bear your name and be your son.

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Happy King, happy kingdom?

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“How the king rejoices in your strength, O Lord! He shouts with joy because you give him victory. For you have given him his heart’s desire; you have withheld nothing he requested.” Psalms‬ ‭21‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

There is a common phrase and understanding in many households, especially back in the day, “If momma ain’t happy, no one is happy.” If you go further back in time, way back, you’ll find the original concept, “if the king ain’t happy, no one is happy.”

Psalm 21 is a song of thanksgiving. It focuses on King David at a time in his life when things were going well. The interesting point to this imagery of a king is this, the king is often credited with being an example of the moral state of a kingdom in the Old Testament.

The Psalms were all written to be a foreshadowing of the coming messiah. And in the messiah’s arrival would come a final season of peace, prosperity and justice for all the wrongs done to Israel. The messiah was definitely projected to be the inevitable, invincible conqueror! So when Jesus showed up as a baby and did everything contrary to any Jewish leader before him, the Jews were naturally suspicious. What kind of conqueror lays down his life, seemingly ending his rule and reign. And Jesus had no heirs! What kind of leader was this?

I wonder if this Psalm 21 characteristic turns out to be true in leaders today? When a leader is happy, the followers are happy. When a leader ain’t happy… well we’ve all seen plenty examples of this on a global and local stage. My take away isn’t exactly about a king or a momma. As a leader, a shepherd, a servant I see the absolute necessity in guarding and protecting my own heart to more or less stay in a place of calm, you could call it a “guarded gratefulness.” There is a lot of chatter and situations that can cause a perpetual state of unhappiness and I end up seething AND seeding a whole batch of angry, frustrated and divided crops of unfruitful and unfulfilled trees! A king, a momma or a leader needs to find a place of perspective and peace to not perpetuate the “ain’t no one happy” culture in their kingdom, home or organization.

Prayer

Dad,
I try and try and try to remember these concepts and work hard to not take the bait to become bitter. It is so very hard. My mind triggers my emotions and they just ramp up faster than I can coral them back into place. I need to seek and ask far more questions before flying off into unrealistic scenarios that end with poor behavior or words that can not easily be retracted or rescinded. Help me seek you first before I fire up the whole emergency response mechanism in my head. Thank you for your grace and mercy when I blow it.

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Our environment wants justice.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“The earth mourns and dries up, and the land wastes away and withers. Even the greatest people on earth waste away. The earth suffers for the sins of its people, for they have twisted God’s instructions, violated his laws, and broken his everlasting covenant.” Isaiah‬ ‭24‬:‭4‬-‭5‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Isaiah picks up on this theme of of extreme eco-disasters coming to earth because of the sins of its inhabitants. Earlier, he had said that God would “destroy the earth and make it a vast wasteland. He devastates the surface of the earth and scatters the people.” Human sin and our selfishness has deep and irreversible effects on our souls, our kind, plus the entire animal and plant kingdom of the world.

I’m sure environmentalist would quickly agree that, as humans, we misuse and abuse our own home. Isaiah’s point goes much further than our carbon footprint, plastics addictions, or pulling far too many precious metals out of the earth. Isaiah says the earth suffers because of our sins against God, not the planet!

I for one believe that believers in Christ should be the very best at caring for the planet and ecosystems of our world. We were in fact given that job back in the garden of eden. We have a responsibility as good stewards. But I would also be the first to say, in no way should our care for animals, plants and natural resources take priority over human life. I’m not a fan of saving whales and sea turtles only to end the life of infants in the womb. This is a gross misunderstanding and results of our sin. Isaiah states what much of our world has lost site of, God is the creator, is good and He alone dispenses justice and truth.

When we are in line with God’s laws, the planet, even in our sin, fares much better. The end is coming though. The finality of this planet, in anticipation of a brand new one, is approaching as each moment of time passes us.

It’s coming. Our culture senses it and it shows up most often in our entertainment of movies and shows. If someone were to map the amount and frequency of apocalyptic books, movies and shows, you’d clearly see that everyone believes there is a end coming. Some are some very dark, like “the walking dead,” or the Terminator or Matrix franchises. Others are oddly utopian in nature, thinking of some strange technological advancements that help humans achieve and neurochemical enlightenment of some kind. The movie, Moonfall finally told us some truth. People are ridiculously gullible, untrusting and turn back into base animalistic behaviors when the end finally comes.

All of these fantasy projections either resolve in perpetual misery or happily received annihilation. God’s story is very different. The planet will be destroyed and remade. Human life, our souls and bodies will not end in annihilation. We will find ourselves living in eternity in one of two places – heaven, where God continues to rule as He always has done. Or hell, a place of eternal separation from God and in that, a forever tortured soul in misery of never ending loops of pain, blame of selfish lonely conversations with themselves. I ask myself, “who wants that?” The possible answer, people who would rather live in misery than bow heart and knee, submitting to God’s authority and rule.

Prayer

Dad,
It is so interesting that you were speaking through Isaiah, thousands of years ago about all the events (Christ, the messiah coming and a lot of end times) that would take place in the future. I remember hearing that the prophecy had to make sense to people then and now. What a challenge for those back them. I’m pretty sure their world was more violent than even ours today. I would make sense to the listener back then. I don’t look forward to the world ending, but I do look forward for the finalizing of your plans for the Kingdom of God on earth to be here.

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Don’t pour iodine in an open wound of the soul.

Reading Time: 2 minutes 
“Singing cheerful songs to a person with a heavy heart is like taking someone’s coat in cold weather or pouring vinegar in a wound.” Proverbs‬ ‭25‬:‭20‬ ‭NLT‬‬

What is it about making everyone feel good or constantly being positive? The wisdom writers pitch a counterintuitive idea. How about NOT cheering someone up?

When I am down or processing difficult, even unpleasant situations happening in my own life, it’s not that I WANT to be negative or depressed. I’m not a masochist when it comes to suffering. However, I am trying to unravel, decode or possibly solve the reasons behind the heaviness, grief or big emotions. And when I am working hard to sift through the whole situation, whether it’s about me or not, the last thing I want is some fluffy, quick, trite, pick-me-up to instantly try to snap me back to feels-good. And, yes, it makes it worse when someone gives me, in that moment, a Bible verse about how I should feel. A Philippians or a “count it all joy,” comment is not helpful.

I know, I know, I know, people are just being kind and I absolutely have friends who live on the amazing promises of God that got them through the darkest moments of their life. I don’t want to be rude and brush them or their comments off. I just want people to try to understand the difference between being a friend who just sits in a really crummy moment with me and someone just trying quippy up because of the uncomfortableness of grief, pain or sorrow. Those emotions are very real and very necessary at times.

Jobs’ friends in 2:11-13 did something very right, “they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw that his suffering was too great for words.” Job was devastated by what happened to him and his kids and his friends, at this point, behaved bravely stellar!

Proverbs isn’t against cheering someone up or dispensing hope at appropriate times, it’s just asking folks to read the situation before saying something that would bring more pain. When grief or suffering can be like a warm coat in the cold of night, a friend comes along, singing a Mary Poppins tune and steals the one thing they need to bare the moment – a heavy heart. This is similar to another Proverb (27:14) about loudly greeting a neighbor in the morning. It’s just bad timing! So what is appropriate? Silence. A permission side-hug. A commiserating look of sadness. Even the simple words of consolation, “I am so sorry.” Maybe a quick prayer of God’s peace, his Shalom over them, would be nice. The last thing I want to do to a friend or have done to me is have Mercurochrome poured into an open wound of the soul.

Prayer

Dad,
It’s nice to know that grief, suffering or just awful traumatic experiences are just a normal part of life on this planet. I want people to be thoughtful to me and I to them when it comes to being vulnerable enough to share in these weighty moments. I am sure folks are well-meaning in their quick-fixes. I just don’t want to miss or mistake these moments for a light way to politely avoid awkwardness. Love can be awkward right? Thank you for your peace and comfort and our ability to enter into someone else’s pain to sit and join them for awhile.

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Confidence without cockiness.

Reading Time: 3 minutes 
“One day as Jesus was teaching the people and preaching the Good News in the Temple, the leading priests, the teachers of religious law, and the elders came up to him. They demanded, “By what authority are you doing all these things? Who gave you the right?” Luke‬ ‭20‬:‭1‬-‭2‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Jesus was teaching and preaching IN the Temple. This is the pro league if religion were a sport (and to the religious leaders, it was). It was written elsewhere that Jesus spoke with authority and the common folk noticed and liked it. The religious leaders, comparatively, had the authority to speak, given by long-standing rights and privileges passed down to them and conveniently given the stamp of approval by their mentors.

The religious leaders, of which three power-groups are mentioned, the leading priests, the teachers of religious law and the elders approached Jesus. Sounds intimidating right? What were they asking? And why were they asking? There were systems and steps that one had to go through to gain the right to speak in the temple, or even a local synagogue for that matter. Those steps were incremental and had the guidance and blessing of a “master” Rabbi so to speak. That master Rabbi would have been well known and approved by others himself. Ray Vander Laan writes, “Jesus seems to be a type of rabbi believed to have s’mikhah or authority to make new interpretations. Most of the teachers were Torah teachers (teachers of the law) who could only teach accepted interpretations.”

I can almost see these powerbrokers of the temple getting together and trying to figure out who was Jesus’ master Rabbi. Was it Nicodemus? Was it Gamaliel? These religious leaders could not connect Jesus with any known Rabbi, yet he spoke with “authority.” Jesus not only quoted other Rabbi’s from time to time, he also did something extraordinarily rare, he interpreted the law and the prophets making application from the entire Old Testament passages. Who gave Jesus that authority? Who gave Jesus this right to interpret? God himself!

Jesus answered their own question with a brilliant question. He said, “Let me ask you a question first,” he replied. “Did John’s authority to baptize come from heaven, or was it merely human?” Ah, yes! There was another Rabbi who spoke with authority and interpreted scriptures as well – John the Baptist. Jesus knew how much religious leaders STILL couldn’t stand God’s spokespersons (Prophets). And Jesus knew how the locals, the “people” loved hearing the pure truth of God spoken with power.

This power group, approached Jesus to shut him down and ended up being scolded for not recognizing the Spirit of the one they were supposed to be working for! Jesus flat out told them, “I’m not telling you who gave me my credentials.” Most of them ended up referring to Jesus as Rabbi from that point on.

I understand that leaders can start out being protective, like a good shepherd should. Knowing who is speaking on behalf of and leading others in the ways of God. But when it twists and turns into controlling others, this is where it goes badly. Power and authority is to protect NOT to control!

Prayer

Dad,
Help us, as leaders, as “religious” Rabbi’s so to speak, always lean towards protecting and not controlling others. Help us to be servants, humble and meek, taking every opportunity to love and give and reflect the true nature of a shepherd to those who believe. Help those in positions of influence be careful to lead, only reflecting Jesus and not themselves. Help us gain back the trust we squandered in the past.