Month: February 2014

Reading Time: 2 minutes

(greet, kiss, shake hands, give greeting)

Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; ​2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14;  Romans 16:16; 1 Corinthians 16:20; 2 Corinthians 13:12; 1 Peter 5:14

The concept of “Embrace” is fun, but not for everyone.  For some, the idea of “Embracing” can be complicated.

Not everyone likes to be hugged, and not all of us are “touchy feely”. I get that. In fact growing up, my family did not hug at all.  When I was dating my wife and she would give me a hug and I would just stiffen up with my arms straight at my side.  I didn’t know what to do. When she would grab my hand I would reflexively flinch and pull away before I realized what I was doing.

Touch is such a powerful way to communicate love and tenderness.  Paul, uses this very physically expressive word for greeting, and it is not surprising at all. He’s instructing us to “enfold one another in the arms” – HUG!

There is now physical evidence that a 10-20 second hug actually increases some of the brain’s neurotransmitters. That alone has huge effects on blood pressure, cellular health and general well-being. It turns out that hugs are healthy for you!

I’d like to say to all those who just can’t stand hugging to “Get over it!”.  However, I truly understand it’s not that easy.

Oh, by the way, I am a hugger now. With guys I just give them a bear hug.  With the gals I give a safe side hug, but not before asking permission!  If I sense they may be uncomfortable, I just revert to a handshake because I want to respect their boundaries.

A handshake is nice, if done well. But, it just doesn’t communicate love like a hug can. Who wants to just shake Grandma’s hand?

Truthfully, you should consider yourself fortunate on this one! Most translations say to greet with a HOLY KISS! I have not seen much of that in our culture. Although I’ve been to Chile and Italy – it’s just normal there.

Prayer: God sometimes I know a welcoming hug is just what folks need. Help me be safe and brave enough to bring a friendly touch when I see someone who is like family to me.

 

Reading Time: 2 minutes

– proslambano (Rom 15:7)
Rom 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Let me be honest. I immediately know when someone likes me and accepts me. Call it a feeling, a vibe or impression. I can tell if someone is just putting up with me, or just pretending to be polite.

There could be other things contributing to their attitude such as being distracted, something else is on their mind, or they are just not in the mood to talk. Nonetheless, I can tell right away whether I’m accepted or not. It’s alright.

I just want to let you know that your body language is much more evident than you think. And there’s something about a phony smile too. Oh, and the drifting eyes that just can’t see to focus on what someone is saying for like two seconds. Like the politician-handshake that has moved on to the next constituent before you’ve had a chance to be supportive.

All of this, and more, is telling people that you could care less and you do not accept them. Yeah, its a feeling. Yeah, you say, “it’s not true.” But, what if it’s more than a feeling. There are desperate folks who just need to have a moment of human contact and they will ignore the fact that you are trying to get rid of them. Even they need acceptance.

So, how is it done? How do you know you are “accepted” by someone in the family of God? Is it time? Attention?

Is it just as simple as using your name? I love the quote, “how do you spell love?- you spell it T. I. M. E.”

How do we get to the place in our relationships where we truly accept each other? What does that look like? The literal meaning is to “take to oneself” or receive. That seems pretty open, even non-judgmental. I think it would be hard to accept or receive someone and reject them at the same time.

Sometimes the simplest words to understand (by definition) are the hardest words to put into practice. This is one of those words.

And this acceptance brings praise to God? Wow! That’s wild!

Prayer: Lord, you know it’s hard for us to let certain folks into our lives. Give me opportunities to try this idea out so I can be better at accepting my brother or sister.

If you have a story of how you have shown that you accepted someone, PLEASE share it in the comments area. We all need help in this area.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

(phroneo – same opinion/mind)

(Rom 12:16;I Pet 3:8)

Rom 12:16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

1 Pet 3:8 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble.

Oh, you’re going to love this one!  Listening to music we don’t like can bring out the worst in us. We all have our personal preferences. Not everyone likes rock, classical, jazz or even county music. However, when harmony is added to a sound, no matter what genre it is, most of us will be able to tolerate it, and maybe even enjoy listening to it. Harmony adds depth and appeal to an otherwise dissonant sound. And dissonance can actually make people ill!

Listen to this — (dissonance) Do you really think those sounds should hit the road and go on tour together?

Now listen to this — (consonance) Big difference, right?

Our lives can either be in constant dissonance with each other or we can figure out how to act on these instructions to blend and fit together out of obedience to Christ. Say it with me, “blend and fit, blend and fit.”

The word is phroneo.  It means, “same opinion and same mind.” It does not mean “be identical, alike or copies”.  From this we learn we are to work together.  Active word here – WORK. It takes work for this word to be a part of the Christian experience. We need to fit or synchronize with each other.

I love the fact that Paul and Peter used the same phrase – “live in…” .  It’s not supposed to be a onetime occurrence. It’s a process of figuring each other out and working to fine tune our pitch for the best sound. That way everyone in the room will be able to sense the pleasantness of unity.

This behavior benefits ministry as we work together.  A friend and I would visit people in their homes in our community just to pray with them and encourage them. As we talked I would watch my friend’s facial expression change as he talked about their pain or delighted in affirming them. I would be so encouraged to hear tender wisdom coming from my friend. I would add a few comments and we would both finish up our time by praying for the person. I felt like we were in harmony, though we had not planned ahead about what we would say nor we saying identical words.

I also believe this behavior works well in conflict too! It is powerful to start out a heated argument with this thought, “Jesus loves this person and I love this person.” Can you disagree and still be in harmony? Of course you can, it’s called Jazz!

Prayer: Jesus, I would love to be a person that brings harmony and not dissonance. Help me bring a fitting word to a brother or sister that is experiencing chaos.  Give me wisdom to bring a peaceful perspective to a messy problem.

If you have a story of harmonizing with someone and it turned out somewhat pleasant , share it in the comments area and encourage someone to work on this area of their life.

Reading Time: 2 minutes

(noutheteo – caution, to impart understanding,to set right,lay on the heart of will and disposition, direct one’s mind)

(Rom 15:14;Col 3:16)

Rom 15:14 I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another.

Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

 

I love the thought here… “to put in mind.”

I have some basic principles I live by. One of them is this: If I know you well enough and really care about you; I will tell you about something I see in your life that may be a blind spot to you.

FACT: WE ALL HAVE BLIND SPOTS

It’s the true friend that risks telling you that you’ve got a booger hanging out of your nose or that your fly is down.

That may be a silly example, but it also applies to much more serious areas in our life.

I love it when someone cares enough about me to take the risk of warning me when I’m about to go off the boundary rails! I don’t think we do this enough for each other.  Or when we do, it is done in a hurtful way and not in a spirit of love.

Here’s a free tip: if you are going to instruct – GO THE DISTANCE. Commit to the long-haul process of helping. Pointing out a problem is simple compared to sticking around to solve one.

This word is NOT about judging, it’s about loving!

And this is not a hierarchical word used or abused by church authorities to keep the sheep in line. This is a ONE ANOTHER principle. Are Pastors and Elders the only one to speak words of instruction?

If you may be thinking, “It’s not my place to say something,” or “It’s none of my business.” Let me just correct you right now. It IS your place and this IS our business!

What are you afraid of? Rejection? Being labeled? When we instruct in love, it is a risk – it does take guts. I think the body of Christ needs to move beyond middle-school mentality and maturely act like followers of Christ.

To the church in Colossae Paul goes on to write about songs and hymns to God. Could we sing our gentle warning to our friends as we try to enlighten them about their blind spots?   Now that’s not something you hear every day at church! “Brother, I’m going to sing you a song about your temper and it goes like this… “

Prayer: Father help me to care enough to correct with love and be willing to receive that same kind of correction from those who care about me.

If you have a story of instructing someone and it was a great experience for both parties, share it in the comments area and help others be bold.